Since chasing "Female Psychologist", I almost stopped believing in maternal love-
Yuna's mother opened her mouth and closed her mouth for the good of her daughter, but never knew her daughter's true thoughts; Tang Lili's mother has always regarded her daughter as a cash cow and only wants to ask her daughter for money all day; Jiang Jing's mother always wants to control her daughter's life, and finally almost ruined her daughter...
But when I calmed down, I found that all this was all I thought about too much, although these mothers have such and such problems, but from the root point of view, they all love their daughters, but they love the wrong way.
On the other hand, as a film and television work, the screenwriter cannot show all the aspects of these supporting roles, and we naturally only see their bad side.
It's like us in reality, although we have such and such problems, but when we look at ourselves comprehensively, we will find that we are not as bad as we think.
Of course, whether a person is good or bad cannot be seen in isolation, and many times, we judge whether a person is good or not, and always compare them with other people before labeling them as we think they are correct.
Just like in "Female Psychologist", the reason why we think that Yuna's mother, Tang Lili's mother and Jiang Jing's mother are very bad is because there is a relatively perfect mother in the story, that is, Horton's mother Zhao Xiping.
It is precisely because of the existence of Zhao Xiping that the weaknesses of these mothers will be magnified by us indefinitely, even to the point where we cannot accept it.
As I wrote in previous texts, Horton did her best to heal others, in fact, her own psychological problems were not small at all, and Zhao Xiping was no exception.
Screenshot of the TV series "Female Psychologist"
Judging from the text on the Internet, Horton's life in the original book was very bumpy.
I have not read the original book, but this does not affect my pursuit of this drama, because in my habitual cognition, when a literary work is adapted into a film and television work, it is already a completely different work of art, regardless of content or form.
Where Horton's father went, there is no direct explanation in the play, according to the plot to speculate, it is likely that her father abandoned them, so at the beginning of the story, we only saw Horton and Zhao Xiping relying on each other.
Although we have been curing others, we all know that from beginning to end, Horton is the one who needs to be cured the most. So, after so many years, Horton has not entered love.
Because of this matter, Zhao Xiping did not think less.
At the beginning of the plot, Zhao Xiping performed a big drama of pretending to be dead.
At the beginning, I didn't understand Zhao Xiping's approach, but as the story slowly progressed, I finally understood her painstaking heart-
First of all, she hopes that her daughter will know that one day, she will leave her daughter, and the only person who can accompany her for the rest of her life can be her other half.
Secondly, in my intuition, zhao Xiping did this in order to let his daughter get used to life without a mother as soon as possible, and when this day really came, Horton would not be helpless.
(This perception arises because I have previously read another of Bi Shumin's works, "Appointment death," which tells the story of hospice care.) ）
Our real life, every day is live broadcast, we always say that no one knows which of tomorrow and the accident will come first, but the accident really comes and how we should deal with it, but we have never thought about it, Zhao Xiping did this, maybe it is just a rehearsal for death.
In the story, Zhao Xiping often summons He Dun Junjun.
I have always been very confused about this. Because Joon Joon died because of Horton (blindly guessing that Horton's father left them, it is likely that this is also the reason), this matter has always been a pain that Horton cannot face, and Zhao Xiping has undoubtedly uncovered his daughter's scar over and over again, and then sprinkled a handful of salt on it.
I even doubted that because of the death of my son, Zhao Xiping had become mentally confused, and it would be unclear whether the current child was Junjun or Dunton.
It wasn't until that time, when Horton opened his heart to Qian Kaiyi, that I understood that Zhao Xiping's doing this was also another kind of redemption for his daughter.
Because of the handsome thing, Horton cut off his long hair and always showed himself as a boy. Knowing that the daughter is like a mother, These thoughts of Horton, Zhao Xiping already knew.
In order to comfort her daughter, she began to pretend to be confused and deliberately called Horton to be Junjun, just to make her daughter feel that her approach was effective.
There are many things in this world, compared to real confusion, pretending to be confused is the most difficult thing.
The pain brought by the loss of her son to Zhao Xiping may be much more serious than Thatton, in order not to let her daughter walk into a dead end, she pretends to know nothing, it is not difficult to imagine that every time Zhao Xiping calls Junjun, it is undoubtedly a knife in his heart, a stab is many years.
There are some things in this world that cannot be walked out at all, and we often say that we give everything to time, but time is not a good medicine to heal all pain.
Instead of hiding it, it is better to face it calmly, Zhao Xiping did this, but also to make her daughter hate herself, and when she left, her daughter would not be so painful.
In order not to let the daughter suffer, choose to suffer alone, such a thing, only the mother can do it.
There is a story that I am particularly distressed to see, that is, Zhao Xiping went to Wen Liang for psychological counseling.
At the beginning, I thought that Zhao Xiping's own psychology was wrong, and when Zhao Xiping opened his mouth, I instantly burst into tears——
Zhao Xiping told Wen Liang that he had a younger brother named Junjun, when he was 13 years old, one day the two quarreled, he slammed the door and went out, did not expect his brother to catch up, Junjun fell down the mountain, fell into the river, although he could not swim, or jumped into the river to save his brother, the result hit the stone, fainted.
Later, my mother saved myself, but my brother never woke up.
Zhao Xiping told Wen Liang that he could not stay in the enclosed space, because then he felt that he was in the water...
We all know that what Zhao Xiping said is Horton's experience, and the reason why she sought a psychological counselor is because she knows her daughter's heart knot and wants to help her untie her before she leaves this world.
When talking about these past events, Zhao Xiping cried bitterly, and seeing Zhao Xiping's tears, I couldn't help but think of a word - empathy, because when she talked about this matter, she had completely regarded herself as Horton, and she would have an emotional breakdown, which would make Wen Liang have to believe that all this was her personal experience.
We often say that the world is snowing for everyone, each with its own darkness and purity, and that no one can empathize with our suffering, but we forget that the reason why we cannot empathize with the suffering of others is because in our hearts, that person is not the most important.
If a person really cares about you, your smile, sorrow and joy are all big things for them.
(Of course, we can't be harsh on others because many times we can't do it ourselves.) ）
Frankly, for people like Zhao Xiping who have experienced the storms of life, death is not the most terrible thing.
As Professor Ji said, people are not afraid of death, but afraid of being separated from the people they love the most.
Thinking about it carefully, most of the parents in reality are actually similar to Zhao Xiping, and when they are old, they always think about their children and children's children the most.
Horton in the story is very sensible, as long as it is related to her mother, she sees more important than anything, no matter what, she is following her mother, even if her mother pretends to be dead countless times, she is not really angry.
But because of this, Zhao Xiping would carry everything on his own.
That time, Zhao Xiping fell and was injured, and if it weren't for the film police calling to tell Horton, Horton wouldn't have known about it at all.
Not only that, but later, Horton's mother felt that she was sick, and she was under great pressure to secretly see a doctor herself, and she did not want to burden her child.
Thinking about it carefully, the reason why Zhao Xiping does not want her daughter to live with her is probably to prevent her daughter from worrying about herself all day and living the life she wants.
Parents all over the world will always say a sentence in their mouths: "We are all very good, you all have your own small family and your own work, don't worry about us all the time." ”
In fact, in their hearts, the most expected thing is that children can often go home to see, even if it is just to chat with them, they will feel satisfied.
Maybe we should really take the time to go home and see and give our parents more love, because they used to love us so desperately.
Suddenly I remembered an old saying, when your parents are still alive, there is still a way back in life, and when your parents leave, life will only come.
(Originality is not easy, if there is a reprint, please indicate the source.) ）