Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
After chasing "Female Psychologist" for two days in one breath, I finally caught up with the update progress of the TV series, and what surprised me was that Tang Lili, who experienced "being small three", actually sparked with the police Xiaojin, and even took the initiative to confess, which is indeed a big change for Tang Lili, who was portrayed in the play as "money first".
Tang Lili has always been my favorite character, the real flesh and blood, beautiful, strong work ability, righteousness and a willing to fight uneven heart, and the interaction with Horton, Qian Kaiyi and other people can not help but be funny. But no one is perfect, Tang Lili has an extreme desire for money, and feels that only money can make her feel at ease, so the premise of her choice of objects is material basis, not feelings.
So what makes Money-oriented Tang Lili suddenly fall in love with an ordinary policeman, in fact, carefully tasting, perhaps this change is also reasonable.
"Being a little three" made her recognize the reality
After Tang Lili left the Yunjin Group, she met Fang Zhongyi, who was doing real estate business, and this handsome and considerate man quickly captured Tang Lili's heart.
Rich, single, handsome, and good to her, this satisfies all the criteria for Tang Lili to choose a love object, and when she thinks she has met the true destiny and begins to look forward to her future life, Fang Zhongyi's wife Tong Yao came to the door.
A man standing on the sidelines, two women who disregarded the image and beat up, this farce of "being small three" ended.
This experience finally made Tang Lili recognize a reality - the concept of love for the purpose of obtaining money, it is difficult to meet people who really love themselves.
Perhaps Fang Zhongyi has already seen through Tang Lili's material needs, so he pleases her, so that she has everything for herself, and can also satisfy the dirty animal desires in her heart, and the same is true of Tang Lili's previous rich second-generation boyfriends, who also know very well that Tang Lili is only with them for money, not feelings.
In this era when it is difficult to change the sincerity of the heart, how can one party really pay the truth if the other party wants to make money?
Just bent on changing her fate and finding a rich man to rely on, Lily Tang had never seriously thought about this question before. It was also this time of being deceived and hurt that made her understand that what she really wanted was a man who could treat her sincerely and be good to her, because she found that what made her reluctant was not the money in the room, but the meal in the morning and the umbrella when it rained.
Tang Lili's subsequent transformation began from here.
Reconciliation with her mother fills a part of the void in her heart
In the play, it is explained very early on why Tang Lili loves money and worships gold, which is mainly due to the influence of her original family.
When she was a child, she never mentioned any of her own needs to her mother, even if it was justified, her mother would reply to her with "our family is poor and has no money". Later, because her mother gambled well, she not only lost all her savings in the family, but even her father's life-saving money, which forced her to work to earn money while completing her studies, while also helping her mother pay off gambling debts.
After growing up, Tang Lili has been providing for her mother's life, and in the face of her unemployment, her mother did not have a word of concern and comfort, but was worried about whether the monthly living expenses were on time.
Therefore, Tang Lili, who has never received love in the original family, uses money as a source of security, and she thinks that money can fill the gap in her heart and make herself feel a little secure, perhaps this is also the reason why the character of Tang Lili is annoying.
But in my opinion, Tang Lili loves money for herself and for her mother. Because in her cognition, money is the only connection between her and her mother, it is money that maintains her relationship with her mother, so that she will not lose her only relative, she resents her mother, but she also loves her mother deeply.
What she really wanted was not money, but her mother's love and understanding.
Therefore, when her mother gave up gambling, began to run a commissary with her heart, and was willing to give up hundreds of thousands of house deeds for her, the sense of security she had been thinking about was finally filled after reconciliation with her mother, and this was one of the reasons for her transformation.
When her heart has dependence, when she can get the emotional response she wants from her mother, her desire for money is gradually weakened, because money means a sense of security, and once there are other ways to obtain security, money becomes less important, and after eliminating the mate selection requirement of money, it is also normal for her to fall in love with a small gold who has no money but is upright.
What really trapped her was herself
Tang Lili has always wanted to get rid of the influence of her original family, thinking that what trapped her was her mother, an unfortunate childhood. But after experiencing Fang Zhongyi's deception and reconciliation with her mother, she suddenly realized that it was always herself that trapped her, and it was herself who made it impossible for her to get out of the shadow she once had.
It is true that the influence of the original family on everyone is enormous, but this influence is not always impossible to get rid of or diminish, but our hearts have become accustomed to this influence, and under the influence of inertial thinking, we mistakenly think that it will never change.
But it turns out that what can free us from the influence of our original family is not others, but ourselves.
From a psychological point of view, people's cognitive behavior can be changed (can be understood as cognitive behavioral therapy), that is, your previous views on an event or habitual thinking can be broken and reconstructed, and changing cognition will change our emotions and behaviors.
But there are two premises here, one is that we are actively or passively aware of the misunderstanding or concept of existence, and the other is that we are willing to change.
In the play, the reason why Tang Lili has changed is because she realizes that there are certain problems in her cognition and concept of "money" and emotions.
Tang Lili has always habitually believed that money is a sense of security, and that having money can be happily recognized, which is caused by the original family, but when she reconciles with her mother, when she encounters deception, her inertial thinking and cognition are impacted, which triggers self-censorship and introspection, so that she finds that money does not completely give her a sense of security, what she really wants is not money, or rich people, but inner steadfastness. (Mo Yu, who was isolated and excluded, Jiang Jing, who overeated, and Zhan Lulan, who was depressed after childbirth, realized the problems in his cognition through cognitive behavioral therapy with the help of Horton.) ）
After the change of cognition and concept, Tang Lili also changed in the concept of mate selection and love, just like she said in the play: "I want to understand, I have been bound by my past spirit for too long, I no longer rely on what I am afraid of losing, I want to pursue what I really like." 」 ”
With this kind of thinking, Tang Lili met xiaojin who was honest and kind and gave people safety and warmth, and it was not incomprehensible that she could spark.
I especially like a quote from the original "The Female Psychologist": "You once put me in hell, but from there I set out to heaven." ”
Perhaps each of us has an unknown past, a rift that we do not want to mention, but no matter what misfortunes we have experienced, I am still willing to believe that the tribulations of the past, can be scars or armor, which not only make us stronger, but also let us know how to cherish.
The drama "Female Psychologist" is indeed worth watching, and I hope that you can find the courage and strength to face life and misfortune in the past, or find a way or direction to solve the problems that currently exist.
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.