Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
When the surveillance screen is played frame by frame, the ugly acts of domestic violence are once again exposed to us - continuously hitting the head, locking the throat, hugging and falling, and the corresponding picture of each action truly reveals the shame of the domestic violence man, and the pain and fear endured by the victim...
As of now, the man's company has suspended him and handed him over to the group discipline committee for investigation.
This is a commendable response, but in the comment area of the video, I still saw some malicious words from netizens, which is more than the domestic violence in the surveillance - more than that.
Some netizens maliciously speculated: Is there a series of unknown and equally "ugly" "hidden feelings" in this frequent domestic violence?
Some netizens also questioned: Why should men be suspended by the company for domestic violence?
Here, I would like to solemnly say two words:
1. No hidden circumstances can be a reason for committing domestic violence;
Second, any act of domestic violence will be spurned by the world. (Perhaps, some people see this and think of various reasons and bases for rebuttals, so you are welcome to leave a comment in the comment area to discuss.) But I will still stick to my point: there is always zero tolerance for domestic violence, domestic violence is not a domestic affair, and it is not a reasonable behavior to solve problems or vent emotions. ）
Domestic violence incidents
Most people have already seen this surveillance or the corresponding video, and the picture in the video is not too much to describe. In the comments section, most people's focus is on two areas:
Committing domestic violence in front of children;
The whole process of domestic violence, the mother-in-law indifferently watched.
These two points are naturally hateful, there is no doubt about them. But I don't think that's where we should focus.
For the incident of domestic violence, we simply do not need to pay too much attention to factors other than domestic violence, such as the way of domestic violence, the degree of domestic violence, the frequency of domestic violence, the causes of domestic violence, the handling methods and attitudes of family members in the implementation of domestic violence, and so on.
Even if these factors combine, they can somehow influence the nature of a domestic violence incident – making one domestic violence incident seem more hateful or less bad than another domestic violence incident.
However, as far as the act of domestic violence is concerned, it has been determined from the moment it occurs, and no additional factors are needed to supplement it.
Once we are faced with a domestic violence behavior, we pay more attention to factors other than the behavior, and we are likely to excuse domestic violence behavior.
Just like this domestic violence incident in the video, we focus on whether domestic violence is useful in front of children? Is domestic violence not acceptable in front of children? No!
Could it be that this domestic violence incident is even more heinous because it was carried out in front of the child? Nor is it!
Or if the mother-in-law obstructs the process of domestic violence, then the victim no longer deserves our sympathy? Not even more!
So why should we pay attention to so many useless factors?
On the contrary, it is better to focus all attention and attention on the behavior of domestic violence, to think about how to eliminate the occurrence of domestic violence, and to think about how to reduce the harm caused by domestic violence.
Occurs frequently
Sadly, in this domestic violence incident in the video, more domestic violence incidents have been exposed.
I watched the voices of some netizens in the comment area, and such a sad event in the video is not the only one, and now it is happening frequently around us.
From the words of the narrative, you can deeply feel the pain and fear in the hearts of similar victims, but what you still don't understand is why you have to persist in such a terrible marriage?
There will always be some people, maybe on the Internet, maybe in their families, or they may be friends - obviously "without suffering from others", but "to persuade others to be kind".
When it comes to marriage, we always have to mix together a lot of seemingly related but actually irrelevant things - children, family, life, the eyes of the outside world, etc..
What to consider? Is it because of the existence of these factors that we must acquiesce in the existence of domestic violence? Is it because there are some things that should be considered that some people have to suffer from domestic violence again and again?
The voice of the victim was heard on the Internet
I don't think it should be, and it's not necessary!
For children, love, care and happiness do not necessarily have to be a complete family as the premise, unhappy families, disharmonious families hurt the children more; for life, the marriage of two people is important enough, but it is not difficult for a person to live a good life, maintaining an unhappy marriage is not to attach importance to the embodiment and pursuit of life; and when has the eyes of the outside world become an important criterion for us to measure whether we are happy in life?
For the happiness of a person's life, whose life is precious enough. At least in marriage, there is little to say about the heavy topic of sacrificing one's happiness. The major events of the family and the country are not the same as the happiness of the individual marriage, and there are fundamental differences between the two. We cannot treat and deal with the problems existing in marriage with the attitude of treating the major affairs of the family and the country.
What's more, I always believe that the reason why domestic violence occurs frequently is mainly because the perpetrator has no scruples, and the victims always have concerns. And the ridiculous online world and the eyes of the world prefer to be harsh on the victims.
Means of protection
For the problem of domestic violence, for many years, there has been a consensus: there is only a difference between zero times and countless times.
Therefore, we want zero tolerance.
What is zero tolerance? It is not to forgive domestic violence and to put yourself in a safe position as much as possible.
I read the victim's voice that circulated online, true or false, I have not been confirmed. But through similar examples, it can be concluded that the pain and fear endured in domestic violence are often continuous.
This constant pain is superimposed, and the superposition process is accompanied by an increase in the number of domestic violence, until it is intolerable, it is impossible to bear it anymore, and then try to get out of this bad and unbearable marriage.
I understand the stalemate in this dark time, and I understand the pain and hesitation, but I still want to say, why bother?
In marriage, we may not be able to avoid the occurrence of the first domestic violence, but we have every reason, opportunity, time, and way to avoid the second and third times... Domestic violence happens constantly.
In marriage, I don't think the act of protecting myself is irresponsible and should be criticized. In marriage, first protecting one's own life and physical safety is the necessary premise for considering everything.
In this case, divorce may be a failure, but relative to the rest of life, relative to the harm that may continue to be suffered, divorce is not necessarily an opportunity to save yourself and save your life. #陕西一公司高管家暴妻子被停职 #
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.