【Beauty play story】, light up the future of children with dreams!
Hello everyone, I'm Maco.
Recently, Marco revisited the movie "Hello, Li Huanying", although it was created by comedian Jia Ling to miss her mother Li Huanying, in the film, in addition to the strong mother-daughter relationship, it also reveals the educational concept of life.
There is such a plot in the movie:
At the wine table, her daughter Jia Xiaoling gave her mother Li Huanying a "look" and told her that in the future, her daughter would be beautiful and generous, excellent in learning, good at work, and earn more... But the mother said, "My daughter, just be healthy and happy." ”
However, many parents in real life have difficulty accepting that their children become an ordinary person.
Parents cannot accept the child's ordinariness
Many parents will pin their hopes on their children, hoping that their children can get ahead and "realize their dreams" for them.
Therefore, at the birth of the child, he began to run for the child's future, paved the way for the child's future, high-priced school district housing, a variety of tutoring classes, squeezed out of the head and wanted to let the child go to a prestigious school.
In the TV series "Growing Up with You", He Jinghua, the mother played by Hu Ke, chose to re-study after her daughter failed the college entrance examination.
But when others mentioned this matter, He Jinghua "slyly argued" that his daughter did not re-study because she could not pass the exam, but she could not look at those schools, and she must take the 985 and 211 schools to repeat the schools.
He Jinghua said these words, and was praised by several mothers for her daughter's ambition. Before she finished praising, her daughter asked her directly: "Mom, admit that I failed the college entrance examination, is it difficult to admit that I failed the college entrance examination, is it difficult to learn to bully?" ”
This scene is exactly the same as us in life. Obviously, their children are very ordinary, but in front of others, they are always reluctant to tell the truth.
Because they can't accept it, children go to repeat their ordinary fate.
In Fuyang, Anhui Province, a father and son quarreled in the streets.
The father hated every job of his son, delivering food, selling, setting up stalls; he felt that this had damaged his face.
Knowing this parent, her question attracted nearly 1.7 million onlookers and hot discussions:
Why do parents want their children to be excellent?
The fundamental reason is that they project their own desires and needs onto their children, and they want to get the satisfaction and superiority they want from their children.
Secondly, parents deprive their children of the right to be an "ordinary person", and many parents will feel that their children can take the first place in the exam and be admitted to a prestigious school. The high expectations for children from the bottom of their hearts make parents unable to accept that their children are not excellent.
Expecting too much of your child will negate your child
Parents hope that there is nothing wrong with their children becoming talented, but things must be reversed, if the requirements for children are too high, why not be a harm to children?
Because parents' expectations of their children are too high, resulting in children not being able to get the affirmation of their parents no matter how hard they try, which will make children have a self-denial psychology.
Finally, the question before most families remains: as a parent, are you willing to accept it, and how do you face the reality that your children are ordinary?
The parent's mentality determines how the child views himself and how he or she faces the 99% probability of life.
Let go of anxiety, let go of meaningless comparisons, look at your children again, and rethink the meaning of making children study hard.
Scores are not the only ones, focus on the child himself
When we regard grades, grades, and honors as the goals of children's childhood, when we pursue the ideal university and find the ideal job for our children, this definition of success is too narrow.
We should be less obsessed with grades and grades, and pay more attention to children's habits, mentality, and physical and mental health.
In fact, we expect the child to work harder now, nothing more than to give him the ability to support himself in the future, to realize his own life value and social value.
But if our children can be content with the ordinary, healthy and happy to do a job they like, do not violate their conscience, do not violate the principle of being a person, and walk every step of life steadily, healthy and happy, safe to old age, why not?
Parents want the future of their children the most
I think the future that parents most want their children to have should be like this:
One day, as parents, we will all leave our children, and we do not want to, and the only memories of our children are test papers, cram schools, and yelling.
Is it also best to have some warmth, for example, there is a smirk, there is a hug, there is a song, and there is ice cream.
We all want our children to shine and become extraordinary people. But being able to accept that children may remain ordinary after all our efforts may be the greatest difference of parenthood.