Today I want to discuss a topic with you: "Unlike the other half of the hobby, will there be nothing to say?" ”
What do you think, do you feel that finding your own partner requires the same interests and hobbies?
A few days ago, a girl sent a message to ask me: after saying that after 2 months of love with her boyfriend, she began to have more and more speechless, and now there is very little contact, because she can't say anything, she thinks it is due to the different interests of two people, resulting in communication without words.
Is that really the case, and is it because two people have different interests?
I have to say that two people together and asking both parties to have their interests and hobbies unified is really a very ridiculous thing.
Let me give you the simplest example, if you want to buy gifts for children, is it not a little girl you will buy a Barbie, a boy buy an Ultraman? You're going to turn it upside down and see if they'll like it?
Children are still like this, and the adult world is even more love-hate.
If you ask boys to like Barbie and girls to like Ultraman, isn't it a bit tough?
Men and women have always been interested in different things, so we can conclude that the two people have nothing to say is certainly not because of differences in interests and hobbies.
Because most people have different interests and hobbies, so what is the real contradiction?
There are two types:
The first: I want you to have the same interests as I do
I like what I like and I hope you like, I like to brush drama, you can't say it's not good, I like to play games, you can't stop me.
If you love me, you have to become like me and do what I like, so that you can prove that you love me.
Second: I deliberately echo your interests
In order to shrink the distance between each other, even if your interest is not cold, you have to pretend to like it, but once I agree, I will hope that you can give me back and see the changes I have made because of you.
In order to please each other and get each other's love, I prefer to do things that I don't like very much.
Let's see if we have found that the root cause of these two contradictions and the reason for pursuing them deeply are not different interests from each other, but lies in the inner selfishness.
In fact, we want to accompany each other to do what they like, or because we do what they like with each other, they ask the other party to accept my interest.
But can we change our thinking and cultivate love itself as a common hobby?
Thinking about how two people are together has many things that may seem boring, but it can actually be fun.
For example, if two people can do hygiene together, one is responsible for mopping the floor, the other is responsible for wiping the table, doing housework together, and can also look forward to each other's future small home and plan a happy and beautiful appearance together.
For example, can two people cook together, try a new recipe, do a good job of praising each other, do not do well on the hammer scissors cloth, who loses who eats, will not think, it sounds quite interesting.
For example, can two people raise a cat, a dog, or any other small animal together, one is responsible for eating and drinking, the other is responsible for Lasa, waiting for the good master to pick up and walk together.
In the process of getting along with two people, in fact, you will find more and more of the same place, even if it is really different, two people sitting on the sofa, you brush your drama, he plays his games, isn't it also quiet years?
Two people go to play together, he gives you some milk tea, you accompany him to buy coffee, is this different and very happy? How can you say that such a relationship has nothing to say?
Therefore, the reason why there is really nothing to say is that you are all hidden in your own world, neither of you wants to take half a step, always thinking of pulling each other in, always expecting to be satisfied by your partner, so on the surface it seems to be pursuing common interests and hobbies, but in fact it is a selfish performance, always hoping that the other party will compromise with themselves.
And this kind of love is like completing a task for two people, today they will accompany me to the movies, tomorrow I will invite you to a meal.
Today I accompany you to go shopping, tomorrow you go sports with me.
It seems to be a courtesy exchange, but are the two people coping with each other and perfunctory, so is the little beauty that should have been in love unconsciously been ignored?
I would like to tell you that in life, there are very few natural partners, and couples who really envy others are often tacit understanding cultivated in love.
It should be two people in the process of love, slowly interested in their partners, you gradually found that the other party's world is actually quite interesting, but also colorful, tasteful.
Therefore, many times there is nothing to say, not because they do not love, but because they do not know how to love at the beginning, put too many expectations on each other, and in the endless disputes and internal friction, the two gradually become strangers.
I hope that everyone can remember that good feelings are not the same interests and hobbies, but to learn to fall in love, as an interest, as a hobby, more acceptance, tolerance and understanding, this is the beginning of happiness and romance!