To help children establish a correct view of money, pocket money is the best means.
Author | Qianhe
On the weekend, she took her children to the supermarket with her girlfriend and saw her favorite Ultraman toys, and her 7-year-old son Xuan Xuan picked up a pile and threw it into the shopping cart.
Looking at the expensive price on the label, the girlfriend said to her son:
"There are still a lot of new Ultraman cards at home, so let's buy them when you're done."
"No, these are different from those at home."
"This Ultraman badge is too expensive, let's buy it online, we can buy three for the same price."
"No, I want it now."
No matter how patiently the girlfriend persuades, the child does not listen at all.
The mother and son argued for half a day, Xuan Xuan played tricks, cried and shouted, and finally the girlfriend had to compromise with the child.
While paying, she angrily said to her son:
"Okay, after buying it this time, I'll confiscate your piggy bank when I get home, and you won't want to buy anything next week."
"Confiscation is confiscation, anyway, the piggy bank is useless to me, I have to buy anything with your consent." The little guy grunted stubbornly.
"That's not because you always spend money on random things!" My girlfriend complained to me as she spoke, "Every time I come out and see something, I have to buy it." Look at how well-behaved your son is, how did you educate him? ”
I turned to look at my carefully selected son, who had only taken one toy, and said to my girlfriend, "I really have a trick on this issue, that is, to give him pocket money!" ”
My girlfriend looked at me with wide eyes in surprise.
She didn't know that in fact, my son used to be a "bear child" who had no control over buying toys, liked to buy things and spend money indiscriminately.
And the way I subdued the "child" was to give him "financial freedom."
Deal with kids who spend money haphazardly
Just this trick is enough
"Mom, I'm going to buy it!" This sentence of my son used to be a "magic spell" that gave me a headache.
I believe that many parents have encountered similar problems in their children:
Buy toys without restraint, no matter the same or similar pile at home, see what you like to buy;
Whatever you want, no matter the price, you must buy it immediately, even if you have the same more cost-effective, never consider it;
Or you have to buy something that looks very poor in quality and knows that it is useless.
When my son was a child, I took two approaches when I encountered this situation:
One is to resolutely not buy.
As a result, the two of us fought fiercely, which made me physically and mentally exhausted.
In the end, although my son was superficially obedient, the terrible thing was that he actually tried to buy things with his own money, such as he used the piggy bank privately and secretly took my wallet.
The other is the helpless compromise.
But once or twice ok, in the long run, the son's behavior of buying things and spending money indiscriminately has intensified, not only the family economy can not afford it, but also has no harm to his growth.
In order to find a better way, I carefully analyzed the psychology of children and found that the main reason why they spend money to buy things is that they do not know how to cherish money.
And why don't you know how to cherish, because money is your parents'.
Economist Friedman, winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, said:
"Spend your own money to do your own thing, talk about both economy and effect;
Spend your own money to do other people's things, only talk about saving and not about effect;
Spend other people's money to do your own thing, only talk about the effect and not talk about saving;
Spending other people's money on other people's businesses does not talk about effect or economy. ”
Why do children spend money indiscriminately?
That's because he spends his parents' money to buy things for himself, so he only talks about effect, not cherishing.
The best way to solve this problem is to give him pocket money and let him spend his own money to do his own thing.
A mother once asked this question on Zhihu:
The same toys, the store sells a lot more expensive than online, but what if the 5-year-old daughter has to buy expensive ones?
In the high praise answer, another mother shared her own approach:
Give the child a certain amount of pocket money and let him decide what to buy, but when it is finished, it will be gone.
As a result, the children who spent money indiscriminately not only learned to compare and bargain, but even began to save money and save money.
Because when we give our children pocket money, on the surface, we let him have the right to use and control money, but in fact, we draw a line between the family's money and his own money.
At this time, he will understand that money is not inexhaustible, it is a scarce resource, and if you buy this, you may not be able to buy that.
In this way, he can really understand what is "price" and think about how to "make a deal".
Therefore, the best way to deal with children who spend money indiscriminately is not to limit, but to give him pocket money and let him achieve "financial freedom" to a certain extent.
Why give your child pocket money?
The first time I gave my son pocket money was when he was five years old, and I gave my son a lump sum of $30 as a week's worth of his expenses.
The child's grandmother was very disapproving at that time, she felt that the child had food and drink at home, wanted to buy something to find an adult, and gave the child so much money is not to let him develop the habit of spending money indiscriminately?
Probably many parents have the same idea as grandma.
In the TV series "Young Pi", Wang Shengnan, played by Yan Ni, is such a mother.
She seized her daughter Lin Miaomiao's pocket money, and in the face of her daughter's questioning, Yan Ni said: "You are a child, what do you always want money for?" What are you going to buy? What are you missing? ”
As a result, Lin Miaomiao said: "What I lack is the joy and freedom of choice." ”
In fact, on the question of whether to give children pocket money, teacher Yin Jianli said: "We must give children pocket money!" ”
And I think parents should not only give, but also give from an early age.
This will not only not let the child develop the bad habit of spending money indiscriminately, but will let him learn a lot of money knowledge and get a lot of exercise.
1. Know money and common sense
For example, his son, who began to have pocket money at the age of five, mastered the conversion of the yuan corner points at the age of six, not to mention the addition and subtraction of less than one hundred.
While he knows the numbers, he also understands the concept of money and understands the common sense of life.
Once he didn't know the price at all, and even thought that buying something was just a swipe of the phone.
When he has his pocket money, he will say, "This Ultraman is so expensive, you can buy 100 lollipops!" ”
2. Learn to choose, know how to control
After the son got the pocket money for the first time, he spent a week's pocket money at a time, and the result was only one day of happiness and six days of discomfort.
When he got his pocket money again, he began to silently calculate the price, carefully choosing what he wanted.
He would make a savings plan for buying specially wanted valuables, control his desire to buy everything, and there were fewer and fewer things in the house that he discarded after not buying for two days.
In fact, the benefits of giving children pocket money are not only so, a foreign survey shows:
Children with pocket money grow up to be far more capable of managing money than children who never have pocket money.
Teacher Yin Jianli said:
The concept of wealth is a very important part of the concept of life, and how to treat money is often an explicit manifestation of how a person treats life.
Giving children pocket money from an early age is not only to let children learn to consume correctly in practice, but also to let them know the nature of money, understand the status of money in life, and grasp their attitude towards money.
These determine the child's outlook on money, values, and outlook on life when he grows up.
Giving children pocket money is a good opportunity for children to educate them, but how to give it is very knowledgeable.
1. When to give
Children before the age of three are not recommended to give, even the numbers can not recognize when the pocket money is meaningless, in the child four or five years old can know less than a hundred numbers, will be simple addition and subtraction, you can try to give the child some pocket money.
The younger the child, the less money should be given, and the intervals will be shorter.
For example, at the beginning, you can give it twice a week, elementary school students can give it once a week, and junior high school, high school can give it once a month or month.
2. How much to give?
There is no uniform standard for the amount of pocket money, and parents can meet their children's daily needs according to the family's economic situation and children's self-control.
But the number of each time must be fixed, do not sometimes give ten pieces and sometimes give twenty, let alone think of hand stuffing some to the child, so that the child can have a number in mind and control it in a planned way.
3. Respect and trust
Since you have given your child pocket money, parents should not interfere too much.
If when a child uses pocket money, parents say that this cannot be bought for a while, and they cannot buy that for a while, they will completely lose the meaning of using pocket money to cultivate children's consumption planning and financial management ability.
Parents can make suggestions, but give their children full respect and trust.
Everyone thinks differently, the good things you think may be meaningless in the eyes of the child, and the things he chooses to buy, although they are worthless in your eyes, can bring him infinite surprises.
If he does buy bad things or get cheated on by a vendor, decision-making mistakes are also a precious lesson and experience for him, allowing him to be more sensible next time.
4. Help and guidance
Of course, respect and trust do not mean complete disregard for how children use pocket money, parents need to help and guide.
For example, we can prepare an accounting book for the child, teach the child to make a plan when he gets pocket money, let him record it every time he spends money, and help the child summarize after spending it, so that he can make a more reasonable plan next time.
Liu Nan, a debater of strange things, once shared his own method of teaching children to use pocket money:
Give your child a four-compartment piggy bank and let the child divide the money into four portions, which are—
Spend the bucket, let the child buy things that can make them happy, experience the joy of consumption; share sharing grid, let the child buy things that can make the family and friends happy; save the money grid, let the child develop the habit of saving money and saving; invest investment grid, let the child try to manage money, understand the way to make money.
Ron Lieber writes in Anti-Coddling:
Pocket money allows children to learn to spend and save, while also cultivating their patience.
I hope that every parent can make good use of the tool of pocket money, teach children to use money rationally, and shape their children's views on money from an early age.
Only in this way can they grow up to strike the best balance between money and happiness.
If your child has entered primary school, it is also recommended that parents read some financial and business books to their children, such as "Financial Business Enlightenment Book for Children", so that children can know money, manage money, and learn to make money.
"Like it", may our children be in control of money and control of life.