01
Recently, there is such a sentence circulating on the Internet: the revenge of the confinement, not sharing the heavens, the grace of the confinement, unforgettable.
What this means, I believe everyone knows. Many times, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will have a vendetta, which is caused by some of the mother-in-law's actions during the confinement period of the daughter-in-law. In the past years, the whole society required young people to be filial piety, so no matter how the mother-in-law treated the daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law must also be filial to the mother-in-law. If the daughter-in-law can't do it, the spit stars of the people around her can drown her.
But in today's society, everyone's self-awareness is relatively strong, they can distinguish between right and wrong, the requirements for daughter-in-law are not so harsh, and the whole society no longer requires young people to be foolish. At this time, the filial piety of the daughter-in-law to the mother-in-law depends on the personal consciousness.
I believe that many women in the early stages of marriage, are with the mentality of getting along with their mother-in-law. Therefore, in the beginning, women will try to be good to their mother-in-law, and even please their mother-in-law.
At this time, the smart mother-in-law will be good to her daughter-in-law, usually care a few words, the son and daughter-in-law stand on the side of the daughter-in-law when they quarrel, and when the daughter-in-law gives birth, do her best to take good care of the daughter-in-law and grandchildren.
The mother-in-law's such a contribution, as a daughter-in-law is definitely in the eyes, she will remember the mother-in-law's kindness to her, and then in the future time sincerely filial piety to the mother-in-law. This is causality.
On the contrary, if the mother-in-law is selfish, or because she is not satisfied with the daughter-in-law, and from the beginning, she turns a blind eye to the daughter-in-law, and when the daughter-in-law needs the most care and the most needs to be taken care of, she will leave it alone, then the daughter-in-law will definitely hate such a mother-in-law in her heart, and then ignore the mother-in-law in the days to come, and even unwilling to do more filial piety. In this regard, the mother-in-law will only complain that the daughter-in-law is not filial piety, say bad things about the daughter-in-law everywhere, and will not find problems from herself.
02
Wang Haiyan (pseudonym) met such a mother-in-law. When Wang Haiyan first married her husband Jin Feng (pseudonym), she was still looking forward to her life after marriage. She hopes that after marriage, she can love husband and wife, and the family will be harmonious, and she hopes that she can please her mother-in-law and then live a warm married life.
Therefore, after marriage, she has always been dedicated to her mother-in-law, calling and greeting her when she has nothing to do, and usually when she buys something for herself, she will always bring a copy for her mother-in-law. Every time the mother-in-law came to the house, she was busy before and after, making some meals that the mother-in-law liked to eat. She believes that if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law want to get along well, they must exchange sincerity for sincerity. She herself treats her mother-in-law sincerely, and that mother-in-law should also treat herself sincerely.
She thought she was doing a good job, and she fantasized about being able to live a happy life with her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But the arrival of the child shattered her illusions. She thought that she was pregnant with the jin family's child, and her mother-in-law would be very happy, and she thought that her mother-in-law would be as nervous about her as someone else's mother-in-law, care for her, and then take good care of her. But from pregnancy to childbirth to confinement, her mother-in-law is like an outsider, not to mention taking care of her, not even caring. It made her very sad and made her feel cold.
Especially when she had just given birth to a confinement, she needed someone to take care of her, and she thought that if they asked their mother-in-law, the mother-in-law would agree to come and help them, but the mother-in-law shirked it for various reasons, and those reasons sounded like excuses. She had no choice but to find her mother to help.
At this time, she was still desperately trying to find excuses for her mother-in-law so that she would not have bad emotions. But later, when her sister-in-law became pregnant and gave birth, her mother-in-law offered to take care of her daughter's confinement. She has never been vague about taking care of her daughter, even her grandson, she has taken very good care of her.
At this time, she saw clearly what her mother-in-law really thought, she did not regard her as a family at all, did not want to have a good relationship with her, and never cared about her. The reasons given by the mother-in-law when she refused to take care of her were all prevarication.
Through this incident, she also saw her mother-in-law clearly, and she was extremely disappointed in her mother-in-law. In the past, she still thought that she must be a filial daughter-in-law in the future, but after that, this idea completely disappeared. Since she felt that her since she could not exchange the other party's sincerity, why should she pay her feelings again.
The mother-in-law is not the biological parent who gave birth to her and raised her, nor is she her benefactor, she just needs to do what she should do, and she does not have to deliberately pay anything more.
And her mother-in-law did not feel her alienation at all, of course, it may have felt it, but she did not care. Because she herself has children and daughters, she feels that she does not need the filial piety of her daughter-in-law, and she will not need her daughter-in-law to take care of her in the future.
But years later, when she was old and needed to be cared for, her daughter shirked it. She couldn't help it, so she found her daughter-in-law Wang Haiyan and wanted Wang Haiyan to take care of her mother-in-law. But Wang Haiyan did not forget the feud of the confinement of that year, she did not promise her mother-in-law, she was only willing to pay 200 yuan a month for living expenses.
Wang Haiyan's mother-in-law was very angry about this, scolding Wang Haiyan for not being a thing, saying that Wang Haiyan gave her mother-in-law 3,000 a month, but she was only willing to give her 200 for her mother-in-law, saying that she only knew how to take care of her mother-in-law. Wang Haiyan's mother-in-law ran to her son to complain after scolding, saying that her daughter-in-law was not filial piety and was a white-eyed wolf.
But Jin Feng was a reasonable person, he knew that his mother was responsible for the loss, the events of that year, and the attitude of his mother to his wife over the years, he saw it in his eyes. His wife was also the precious daughter of someone else's family, and she did not marry and let his mother do it, and she was not obliged to do filial piety to her own mother.
The only thing that could take care of his mother was for him to come, and he would not ask his wife to take on this responsibility. Therefore, every time my mother had something, he came forward to solve it. When his mother complains that the living expenses are not enough, he will also take a part of his living expenses to secretly subsidize his mother.
Whenever his mother complained about his wife in front of him, he could not help but say that this was the old age she should have, what cause she planted, what effect she would get, no one, no one, to blame and only blame herself.
From the stories of Wang Haili and her mother-in-law, we can understand two truths.
03
One: The fool worries about the fruit, and the wise man worries about the cause.
The wise man worries about the cause, while the stupid man worries only about the result. Therefore, smart people have a vision in doing things, and they will carefully take every step of the way without leaving hidden dangers for their future. Stupid people, on the other hand, are short-sighted and cannot think about the future, so they will do a lot of things that are very stupid in the eyes of others, and then one day in the future, they will pay for what they did.
Wang Haili's mother-in-law is a stupid person, she is short-sighted, she can't think about the future, she hasn't considered her future at all. When her daughter-in-law was most helpless, she chose to stand by and watch, and she did not think about getting along with her daughter-in-law at all. And when she is old and needs to be taken care of, she thinks about having a good relationship with her daughter-in-law, but it is too late. Her daughter-in-law was unwilling to get along with her or take care of her, and her later life was doomed to be bleak. Therefore, we must become a smart person with a vision.
04
Second: Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is a cycle of cause and effect.
Many people say that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are born as natural enemies, so it is normal for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have a bad relationship, but it is not normal for those mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who have a good relationship.
This seems to make a lot of sense, but it doesn't stand up. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is a cycle of cause and effect. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not antagonistic from the beginning. Only when certain actions of one partner actually hurt the other will their relationship go against each other.
Just like Wang Haili and his mother-in-law, Wang Haili also wanted to have a good relationship with her mother-in-law at the beginning, but later her mother-in-law's behavior hurt her and made her cold to her mother-in-law. It was also from this time that their relationship became antagonistic. Later, Wang Haili's dissatisfaction with her mother-in-law was also the cause of her mother-in-law's behavior.
Therefore, everyone must not do things that make them regret, and everyone must understand a truth, what cause and effect.
Text/No Pen