01
In the past era, in marriage, men always played the role of pillars, and most of the men in that era were responsible, and at the beginning of their marriage, they knew that they had to shoulder the responsibility of a family, and they knew that they had to support their wives and children.
In today's society, many men have lost this sense of responsibility, they do not know what responsibility is, after marriage they only think of their own interests, in their concept, wives and children are not their responsibility, no one wants them to eat even a little loss.
In marriage, they can no longer play the role of pillar, they are selfish, do not want to take on the responsibility of this family, they just want to escape responsibility, just want to live more comfortably. Therefore, after marriage, some men will propose to talk to their wives
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system.
In marriage, it is unreasonable to make such a request. In a family, the division of labor cannot be so clear, and there is always someone who needs to pay more. If the man asks the woman to give selflessly, he asks for two people
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This is not a way to live, this is to take advantage of women in the name of the pursuit of equality, such an act is really shameful.
The man's behavior will make the woman feel cold, which will affect the husband and wife feelings between the two people. If it is not handled well, two people will even go to the step of divorce.
02
Wang Haili (pseudonym) encountered such problems in her marriage. Wang Haili is a sincere and kind girl, and when she fell in love with Li Qiang (pseudonym), she always liked to think about Li Qiang. Because Li Qiang's family conditions are average, so every date, Wang Haili always rushes to pay the bill, and never makes Li Qiang feel sad.
She thought, the two people have a good relationship, who please is not please, and she does not want Li Qiang to break the fee. Therefore, during the entire love period, Wang Haili spent absolutely a lot more money than Li Qiang.
The two fell in love for several years, and when they got older, they got married naturally. After marriage, Wang Haili also sincerely treated Li Qiang and Li Qiang's family, and every time her mother-in-law came, she was stuffing money and buying gifts. She felt she had done a good job.
She thought that the relationship between people and people is to exchange sincerity for sincerity, and if she treats her husband and in-laws sincerely, then her husband and in-laws will certainly be sincere with themselves, and their marriage will certainly be harmonious and beautiful.
But she never expected that her husband would offer to follow her
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System, she thought it was funny. Although she asked him to pay his salary, she never spent more than one cent. Every time the salary came down, she took out a large part of it for his pocket money, and his remaining salary was enough to pay off the mortgage. All the family expenses and human interactions were paid for by her salary. She never wanted to take advantage of him, she would ask him to pay his salary, just to plan a good life for the two of them, and if there was a surplus, she could save some money to prepare for the future birth and adoption of children.
She thought about everything ahead, she planned everything for this family, but in exchange for his selfish demands. She was really angry, and she felt that her kindness had been fed to the dog. And this also made her completely chill, and she could no longer be true to him.
Since then, she has completely changed her attitude, she no longer plans for this family, she no longer buys anything for Li Qiang, she also began to become selfish, so that Li Qiang's quality of life began to plummet. At this time, Li Qiang had vaguely realized that he had done something stupid. He admitted that he was selfish, he did not carefully calculate the cost of life, he felt that Wang Haili took advantage of him, so he proposed to talk to Wang Haili
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Made a request, but did not expect that he was lifting a stone and dropping it on his own foot.
But at this time, he did not have the good sense to regret it. And Wang Haili's attitude towards him and his family also happened
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Great transformation. In the past, when Wang Haili's mother-in-law came to their house for the weekend, Wang Haili was sincere, and she never accepted money stuffed by her mother-in-law, but would stuff money to her mother-in-law. And shopping for things is her money, but also buy the kind of ingredients that are not often eaten to make some delicious food for her mother-in-law.
But since Li Qiang proposed
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After the system, when her mother-in-law came to her house for the weekend, Wang Haili changed her previous sincerity and accepted her mother-in-law's money no matter what she did. When buying vegetables, the mother-in-law pays for it, she does not stop, shopping for things, she no longer buys nothing for herself as before, only buys things for her mother-in-law, she also begins to buy some clothes she likes, and when the mother-in-law wants to pay, she does not stop. Even when the mother-in-law left, give her the money stuffed, and she also received it with peace of mind.
After a few times, Wang Haili's mother-in-law also found that something was wrong, the change before and after this was too big, Wang Haili's mother-in-law felt that the two little ones must have quarreled, so she talked to her son and asked them if they had encountered any problems. Under her persecution, Li Qiang finally brought himself up
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The system of things to say out.
After Wang Haili's mother-in-law knew, she hated iron and steel, and she did not dare to imagine that she had actually given birth to such a fool, and she taught Li Qiang a lesson, letting him know what marriage was, what responsibility was, and what kind of adverse effects his behavior would bring to marriage.
Wang Haili's mother-in-law's preaching finally made Li Qiang realize the seriousness of the matter, he also admitted his mistake, and he apologized to Wang Haili under the persecution of his mother. Since then, Li Qiang has never dared to mention it again
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Made.
But Li Qiang's confession and apology did not change Wang Haili's attitude toward Li Qiang. After all, there was a rift in their marriage. Wang Haili could no longer treat Li Qiang with affection. She even felt that if something happened to Li Qiang, she might choose to give up on him.
So, we have to understand that marriage represents responsibility, once we enter marriage, then we must be responsible for your other half, do not choose to avoid responsibility, your behavior of evading responsibility will definitely hurt your other half, and such harm will make your marriage become
"In name only".
Wang Haili's deeds tell us the following two truths.
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One: between husband and wife
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Nine times out of ten, it is to evade responsibility.
In today's society, many people are advocating equality between men and women, and some people even use the banner of equality between men and women in marriage to require the implementation of husband and wife
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system.
And between husband and wife
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Nine times out of ten, it is to evade responsibility. You know, in marriage, there is a division of labor between husband and wife, and it is impossible for both people to devote themselves to work regardless of the family.
When two people become a family, it is definitely going to have children, and then the parents of both sides will also grow old. Do two people have to take care of their own affairs? This is simply not realistic. In a family, in the division of labor, it is impossible to achieve true equality, there is always a person who needs to put more energy into the family, and there must always be a person who puts more energy into work to provide financial security for the family.
So
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The system is too irresponsible. And in marriage, proposed
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People who make the system are often men, just like Wang Haili and his wife, men are always afraid of losing money in marriage, but if they really calculate, it is often women who pay more in marriage, and men are often vested interests, but they still feel that they are the one who suffers losses, so they will naturally put forward
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system. And they propose this in order to evade responsibility
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The system requirements often become the fuse of marital failure.
04
Two: Men's sense of responsibility is the most important.
When women are looking for a husband, they either look at the economic conditions, or look at the appearance, or just by feelings, but none of these are as important as men's sense of responsibility. If the man has no sense of responsibility, even if the man has money, the money cannot be spent on you, and if the man does not have a sense of responsibility, then in marriage, the woman will often not be protected. In such a situation, women are prone to gain and loss.
In today's society, it is not easy to find a responsible man, many men pay more attention to their own interests, they do not have a sense of family, because of the lack of trust in the people around them and their other half, so, in marriage, they will also behave selfishly. And such a performance will also change the mentality of the other half. People who originally treated their husbands wholeheartedly and wanted to live a good life will also become able to live well. And once a person has a cold heart, it is difficult to warm up again. Therefore, in marriage, a man's sense of responsibility is the most important.
wen
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