01
I once wrote an article about "confinement feud", and a netizen left a comment saying: I am a mother-in-law, who has worked hard to serve her daughter-in-law to confinement, and she still feels that this is too much to be grateful. Then I simply let her suffer what I had suffered.
This mother-in-law is real, and she pinpoints the reason why the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are easy to form a "confinement feud".
Some people may think that this mother-in-law's psychology is quite dark. However, I don't think so, she just has some imbalance in her heart, after all, people's hearts are quite complicated, and no one can be tolerant of people everywhere and tolerant everywhere like a saint.
It is difficult for a woman who has not yet become a mother-in-law to understand the psychology and emotions of a mother-in-law, or selfishness, or strength, or grievances, or dissatisfaction, and only after becoming a mother-in-law will she feel empathy.
When talking about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the cousin who became a mother-in-law the year before and added a granddaughter this year said with deep feeling: "When I became a mother-in-law, I finally understood why my mother-in-law was unwilling to be good to me in the month." ”
The son is married, and the cousin is naturally happy, but also a little worried. Happy is that his daughter-in-law has become a mother-in-law for many years, and finally he can straighten his waist and swing his mother-in-law's score in front of his daughter-in-law. The worry is that today's daughter-in-law has a personality, has an opinion, is not regulated by others, the mother-in-law is not good, and if she does not do well, the daughter-in-law is not satisfied.
The cousin's thoughts are probably the truest thoughts in the hearts of most mothers-in-law now.
02
The cousin said that in the first half of her life, she was fed up with her mother-in-law's anger, and in the second half of her life, she could no longer be angry with her daughter-in-law. Otherwise, this life is really a nest.
The cousin is the eldest in the family, the next brother and a sister, he is a particularly filial and honest man, the cousin was married to him because of this. But she did not think that this would become the main cause of her future suffering.
Originally filial piety by nature, especially good to parents, is a good quality of a man, but if a strong mother who says one thing or the other, then the woman who marries him is doomed to have no good life.
When a man listens too much to his mother, he will no longer listen to his wife.
The cousin-in-law is such a man.
Because of the eccentricity of the mother-in-law, coupled with the husband's filial piety and honesty, although the cousin is the eldest daughter-in-law in the in-laws' family, she is the most unpopular with the in-laws. The big and small jobs in the family are assigned to the cousin by the mother-in-law, and the delicious and useful things in the family are all given to the uncle and sister-in-law in the open and secret. The cousin was very dissatisfied with this, and mentioned it in front of her husband, who always said that he was the boss and should let his younger sister go.
Cousin's first birth is a daughter, she remembers very clearly, when she was confinement, the mother-in-law did not do anything delicious, the mother-in-law relatives came to see her to send a chicken, the mother-in-law also raised it, saying that it was left for the daughter-in-law to eat when she gave birth. The mother-in-law's bias really made my cousin chill.
This is not to mention, the mother-in-law is also not painful or loving to the new granddaughter, never hugged, and also openly and secretly ridiculed the cousin for what she can't do. The cousin really couldn't swallow the breath of the mother-in-law, and she quarreled with the mother-in-law during the month, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law once dropped to the freezing point.
The cousin gave birth to a son for the second time, originally thought that this time she could get the mother-in-law's favor, she should be dedicated to serving her confinement, but did not think that the mother-in-law actually lived in the daughter's home on the grounds that the daughter was pregnant and needed to be taken care of, and did not pay attention to the cousin mother and son in the month. In the words of the mother-in-law, the cousin is not the first time to give birth to a child, not so pretentious.
The cousin was angry and carried her son back to her mother's house. After sitting in confinement, she made a fuss about moving out of her in-laws' house and broke off the relationship from then on, but her husband was a big filial piety, not only did not care about her situation, but also stood on the side of her mother-in-law, blaming her for not understanding things.
At that time, the hatred in my cousin's heart really tickled her teeth, and this hatred was 30 years.
Some people may think that this is too exaggerated, but in fact, it is not surprising at all, many young daughters-in-law are slowly getting old with resentment, and finally become mothers-in-law. Her cousin has become a mother-in-law, her mother-in-law is more than 80 years old, but the cousin still can't let go of her resentment towards her mother-in-law.
03
The cousin also said that in the past, the daughter-in-law was not easy to do, and the current mother-in-law was not good.
The most complex in the world is the human heart. When the cousin saw that she had worked hard to pull the eldest son, and was obedient to her daughter-in-law, her heart was very uncomfortable, and she did not know whether to blame her son for being useless, or to blame her daughter-in-law for having too many means.
The cousin really can't get used to the sister's arrogance, she feels that the daughter-in-law does not have a daughter-in-law, just married into her own home, she pointed fingers, so unaccustomed, so unaccustomed, completely regard herself as the hostess of this family, did not put her mother-in-law in the eyes at all.
After the daughter-in-law became pregnant, she stopped working, waited to eat every day, slept after eating, and did not care about anything but washing her underwear. The cousin really couldn't look down and say a few words to her, so she wiped her tears in front of her cousin's son and made a fuss about going back to her mother's house, which made the relationship between their mother and son tense.
The contradiction between the cousin and the daughter-in-law intensified in the daughter-in-law's month, and the daughter-in-law always disliked her for not serving well, but the cousin felt that she had done enough.
The cousin bought vegetables for her daughter-in-law to cook according to the high point of her own consumption level, but the daughter-in-law still felt that she slammed the door and was reluctant to buy good dishes for her to eat. The cousin undertook almost all the housework every day and took care of the children, but the daughter-in-law felt that the mother-in-law was not hard enough and felt that she could not do well.
My cousin thought, since I am good to you and you don't appreciate it, then taste the bitterness I have eaten in the month. Therefore, she picked a child, no longer took the initiative to take care of the housework, she also learned from the previous mother-in-law's practice, ran to her daughter's house to hide and clean.
At this time, the daughter-in-law was angry, saying that the mother-in-law was not good to her, saying that the mother-in-law did not serve her confinement, and when the mother-in-law was old, don't expect her to take care of the elderly.
My cousin said: "I didn't expect others to take care of me at all, and my extravagant hopes, when I was confinement, had already been hit by my mother-in-law." ”
The cousin said that she was good to her daughter-in-law, completely out of the fact that as a woman, she did not want her daughter-in-law to eat the hardships she had suffered, and she tried her best to be good to her daughter-in-law, but her daughter-in-law was not grateful, or picked bones in the egg. This made her feel a little uneasy.
In this way, the cousin and daughter-in-law formed a "confinement feud".
The cousin was very emotional, she said, before thinking that the daughter-in-law is not easy to do, now I found that the mother-in-law is not so good.
04
It is said that it is a slap on the wrist, and there is no unprovoked love in the world, nor is there unprovoked hate. After my cousin said that she became a mother-in-law, she understood why her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were easy to form a "confinement feud".
Usually when two people have a conflict, they will feel how good and selfless they are, and how bad and selfish the other person is. But in fact, when you feel that others are bad, you also have one or two bad points.
Many women say that whether the mother-in-law treats herself as a family member or an outsider, she knows if she has a child. However, many times, the mother-in-law is the daughter-in-law of her own family, but the daughter-in-law does not know how to appreciate the feelings, always feels that the mother-in-law is taken for granted, and even puts forward higher requirements, did not think, the mother-in-law's ability is limited, can not reach. Therefore, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fell out, and each other's eyes were all bad in each other's hearts. When the mother-in-law, it is simply broken cans and broken, and the "bad guys" do it to the end.
In fact, the distance between people and people is not so far, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, as long as both people know how to give in, tolerate, understand and empathize, there will certainly be no "moon feud". What do you think?