Crying is the innate ability of human beings, many parents in the process of educating their children, feel that children often cry is a manifestation of cowardice, they hope that children are strong, have the ability to resist pressure, they often because children cry fierce children, let children do not cry.
What is the difference between a child who sheds tears at every turn and a child who endures not crying when he grows up?
Qingming holiday and friends agreed to take the child out of the spring, the friend's daughter Meng Meng and our family fruit is about the same size, when walking to the lake, Meng Meng was tripped by a stone, the branch scratched her arm, I saw Meng Meng grievances are about to cry, did not expect that after the friend came over, Meng Meng stubbornly held back the tears, the friend told Meng Meng: "This time did not cry, awesome", for the friend's way of education, I am a little bit confused, why can not let the child cry?
Friends said: "When the child is a child, you can't let the child cry often, otherwise the child will become cowardly and timid and have no ability to resist pressure, I often say not to cry to Meng Meng", the friend's words caused me to think, I have never considered this problem, do not let the child cry really make the child stronger and have the ability to resist pressure.
After I went home, I consulted a psychologist, and the doctor said that there is a big difference between a child who sheds tears at every turn and a child who endures not crying.
1. Children who endure not crying are easily depressed
Shakespeare once said, "Tears can alleviate pain," and the American writer Raymond Snitch said: "For most people, crying can help reduce stress, even if the actual situation has not changed at all."
In 1986, a psychologist found that 94% of all papers studying crying said that crying helps relieve psychological stress, and that a person can reduce negative emotions by 40% after crying.
The psychologist told a real case that she had received, the girl Xiaoyue's parents were very strict with her when she was a child, did not let her cry, when she cried, her parents ignored her, she began to slowly learn not to cry to beg for her parents' concern, bumped into where the physiological tears flowed back, bullied by classmates did not dare to cry, could only swallow the grievances into the heart, did not dare to cry after being wronged by her parents, and digested these emotions alone in the bedroom.
Negative emotions piled up in her heart, she did not know what to do, the accumulation of negative emotions led to her looking like a very melancholy person, no one wanted to be friends with her, a test in the third year of high school regressed, she was very sad and did not know how to vent, her parents went home and taught her harshly, all the emotions piled up together, she began to have depressive symptoms, unwilling to go to school, no expectations for life, and even once bought a fruit knife to self-harm, even if the fruit knife scratched her will not cry.
Children who endure not crying have no way to alleviate their negative emotions, they can only hold them in their hearts, and holding them all the time will lead to psychological problems.
2. Children who endure and do not cry are easily sick
In 1985, a biochemist said that crying is conducive to relieving stress, and tears can take away the body because
Harmful substances caused by negative emotions or mental stress.
Sad tears will detoxify, studies have shown that tears shed in sad, touching and other situations contain catecholamines, which accumulate too much and are prone to cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.
Lysozyme in tears can protect the nasopharyngeal mucosa from bacterial infection, can also help relieve ulcer disease and some colitis, crying can also help reduce blood pressure and pulse frequency, protect the health of the heart.
In 2008, scientists conducted a survey of 4,300 young people from 30 countries, and the results showed that most of them experienced mental and physical improvement after crying
Therefore, people who often endure not crying are prone to some physical diseases, and women often live longer than men, because women are good at using crying to express their emotions and ease their emotions.
3. Children who endure for a long time and do not cry have poor empathy ability
Emotional tears are the product of human socialization, which can promote communication and emotional connection between people, and tears can make children get help and support from their peers around them.
Even Huang Lei revealed that Teacher He loves to cry very much, and often accompanies others to cry and empathize with others.
Children who endure not cry empathy ability is also relatively poor, they have become numb to emotions, do not know what is sadness and what is happiness, all emotions are the same for them, others will not have empathy when they are sad, just imagine, no one can accept that their friends are a person without empathy, children without empathy are generally poor in interpersonal communication.
Children who endure not to cry are prone to some psychological and physiological problems, and the large accumulation of children's emotions leads to problems that children should not want to see, after all, the starting point for parents not to let children cry is also for the good of children.
If you want to cultivate your child's ability to withstand stress, what should parents do?
Allow children to cry, crying is the child's innate way to relieve stress, to allow children to cry to relieve the child's pressure, when the child has emotions, parents can guide the child to say emotions, do not let the child's emotions pile up, do not because the child's crying or tantrums will yell and scold the child, to help the child ease the emotions, this is the top priority.
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