A few days ago went out to meet such a thing, a mother with her daughter in the supermarket to buy something, the daughter wants to buy an ice cream, the mother does not agree to buy for the child, at the beginning the mother attitude is very good to the child said: "Qingqing, you had a fever yesterday, you forgot, you can't eat ice cream today", did not expect the child to be very persistent, now the ice cream counter refuses to go, and even crying, looking at the people around, the mother may feel more embarrassed, just want to drag the child away, the child stands there and refuses to move, the mother is a little angry.
Her volume suddenly increased, yelling: "You can't go, you child, too unruly, I don't want you", after the mother yelled at the child, she looked at the people around her apologetically, watched the mother yell at herself, the child suppressed the tears, wiped the snot with his sleeve, and dragged the mother's skirt away.
When I came home in the evening, I sent this matter to the parenting group to hear what kind of attitude the mothers had towards their parents yelling at their children.
@ JingJing Mom: It is normal to yell at children, and yelling at children is very useful, when my family is quiet and not obedient, I will roar, and after yelling, I will indeed obey
@Yuanzi Mom: I will also yell at the child, but it is humiliating to roar in public, and I will slowly clean up the child when I get home
@ Peach Mother: I don't yell at children much, our relatives often yell at children, children are scared out of psychological problems, which scares me into not being afraid to yell at children
Children who are yelled at by their parents for a long time may cause children to have these 3 personality defects
First, children will become timid and inferior
Colleague's daughter Meng Meng and our family fruit as big, last weekend the company prepared for the spring tour, I took the fruit, colleagues with her daughter Meng Meng, see Meng Meng my first feeling is that the child is afraid of hands and feet, walking can not stand up to look up, in the car everyone teases two children to play, Guo Guo will answer everyone's questions and Meng Meng almost does not answer, colleagues embarrassed to laugh and said that her daughter is too introverted.
At noon dinner, everyone let the two children pick rice first, Guo Guo and Meng Meng both looked at the small crispy meat, saw the fruit and fruit stretched out their hands, Meng Meng hurriedly retracted his hand, and finally I divided the small crispy meat into two parts for Meng Meng to take a portion, Meng Meng looked at me and did not dare to take the small crispy meat, colleagues very gently said to her: "Can eat, baby", Meng Meng only took over the lunch box.
Meng Meng gave me the feeling that I was very inferior, I didn't dare to do anything, the day after the spring tour, my colleagues found me and said that I could not bring Meng Meng to my house to play, she wanted to let Guo Guo play with Meng Meng, affecting Meng Meng's self-confidence and cheerfulness, I asked her why the child would become inferior.
The colleague sighed and said: "I divorced Meng Meng Dad a year ago, it was not good at that time, because of economic conditions, Meng Meng was sentenced to her father, I think he should be good to the child, did not expect that he often yelled at the child, scolding the child is waste, dragging oil bottles, the child has become very inferior, I am now economically good, I will fight a lawsuit to bring Meng Meng back." ”
Parents yell at their children easily make children become inferior, some parents say that children are waste, children are very simple, they will feel this way, feel that their birth is a mistake, what they do is wrong, children are easy to become inferior, dare not communicate with others, dare not make friends with others, and are afraid to do anything.
Second, the child may form a flattering personality
Parents often yell at their children, children are prone to pleasing personality, children love their parents, if parents often yell at their children, tell their children: "I don't want you anymore", the children will lose their sense of security, so as to do something to please their parents.
Some parents say that their children are very sensible, completely "children" in their dreams, and everything follows their parents, so that children are likely to be flattering personalities, in order not to be hated by their parents and to please their parents.
Pleasing personality people live very tired, they will please everyone, do not please, I junior high school has a classmate is a pleasing personality, often help others to work and be disliked by others silly, parents do not want their children to become a pleasing personality, they must pay attention, do not shout at children for a long time, so that children are insecure.
Third, children may become rebellious
Adolescent children are very rebellious in their hearts, the yelling of parents may get a counterproductive effect, children become rebellious, completely do not listen to their parents, and some will in turn yell at their parents, and even do things with their parents.
Parents yelling at children is not good for the child's personality, in fact, yelling is not good for solving problems, such as when children have no ideas, parents' yelling will only make children more unthinking, when children are unwilling to go to school, parents' yelling can only make children more bored with learning.
You can't yell at your child when you do something wrong, so what do you do?
Parents should communicate with their children more, understand the child's inner thoughts, so as to come up with a solution to solve the problem, parents must not be in a hurry, to understand the child's heart, from the child's point of view, understand the child's ideas, why the child does not want to write homework, why the child does not like to communicate with the parents, why the child does not have the concept of time, etc.
Children who have problems will complain to their friends, who understand their true thoughts and can empathize with them to solve problems.
Parent-child communication is the biggest problem in the process of parents and children getting along, parents must pay attention to, to learn to communicate with children, so as to make the parent-child relationship closer.