01
As the saying goes, every family has a difficult scripture.
In a word, it shows the helplessness of life, and also reveals that married life is not as beautiful as imagined.
Most girls have high expectations for marriage before marriage, are full of hope for life after marriage, and often ignore many hidden dangers in marriage.
For example, whether the husband and his own three views are consistent, whether the husband is a mother, whether he can assume responsibility for the family, whether the husband's brothers and sisters are easy to get along with, whether the in-laws are easy to get along with, and so on.
But a girl who is obsessed with falling in love usually only thinks about whether he loves me or not. So in the life after marriage, happiness is always very consistent, but unhappy is various.
Meng Meng is because of poor consideration before marriage, resulting in unsatisfactory life after marriage, and was once depressed.
02
Meng Meng and her husband are free love, the feelings are very good, talked for less than a year, to the point of talking about marriage.
Before marriage, Meng Meng knew that the future mother-in-law was very picky, talking about the bride price money and change fee, the mother-in-law was also entangled for a long time, asking Meng Meng a total of 20,000 lines.
Meng Meng's family is not short of money, and her parents do not pay much attention to the custom of bride price, so they agreed.
Because Meng Meng's in-laws and mother's family are far away, when they hold banquets, they are all held in their respective localities, and the wedding banquet on the mother-in-law's side refreshes Meng Meng's cognition of "cutting".
The place for Meng Meng to live is an ordinary hotel for 80 nights; a set of bridal makeup 68, the hotel for eating is limited to two hours, and no one has waited for anyone to come, and the wedding banquet is over.
The main thing is that wearing a bridal dress, the mother-in-law actually has to take the bus back. Meng Meng looked at the husband next to her indifferent, as if this matter was very ordinary.
Fortunately, because there were too many people on the bus who came over, it was impossible to squeeze up, and the mother-in-law gave up taking the bus and took a taxi back home, otherwise Meng Meng felt that the people in this life were lost.
After marriage, Meng Meng and her husband moved into the house where the mother's family was married, the days were still fairly beautiful, and soon, Meng Meng found herself pregnant, and her mother-in-law knew about this matter, and she couldn't wait to move in with Meng Meng, and the name was to take care of Meng Meng.
At first, Meng Meng was still very grateful, but later she gradually found that her mother-in-law had come to take care of her, and that she had come to be a master.
Every morning, when her husband went to work, Xiaomeng was called up to cook with her mother-in-law, and then Xiaomeng really couldn't do it plus morning sickness when she smelled the oil smoke, and the mother-in-law gave up.
Don't cook, then clean the house, the mother-in-law said to exercise more, the child is good to live, but wipe the ground ten times a day, Meng Meng feels that she is not exercising, but to death.
The reaction during pregnancy is very large, Meng Meng only wants to eat something light, but the mother-in-law's meal is very greasy every time, and Meng Meng can't eat it.
Meng Meng also told her husband about these behaviors of her mother-in-law, but her husband always felt that it didn't matter, it was just a matter of living habits.
Meng Meng's husband will give her mother-in-law living expenses every month, but the vegetables that her mother-in-law buys every time are discounted dishes left over from the market, and the meat is not fresh, and Meng Meng really has no appetite.
If it is just that there is no food to eat, Meng Meng can also accept it, but the mother-in-law is getting more and more inching, thinking that Meng Meng can't do anything well, and from time to time she taunts Meng Meng.
What such a big person is really useless, pregnant with a child can not do anything, have never seen such a pampered, picky eater, do not know what to marry.
At first, she still said behind Meng Meng's back, and was heard by Meng Meng, and Meng Meng did not refute her, causing her mother-in-law to be more unscrupulous and point out in front of Meng Meng.
Once, I happened to be bumped into by my husband who came home, and my husband only asked her mother-in-law to say a few words.
Meng Meng felt that she was depressed, thought about it or proposed with her husband to let her mother-in-law move back to live, but because of this matter, the mother-in-law was angry for several days, the whole family atmosphere was very depressed, the husband was also very embarrassed, Meng Meng finally gave up, thinking that when the child was finished, the mother-in-law was gone, so she endured and endured.
The outbreak of the matter was because of a takeaway that Meng Meng ordered.
The mother-in-law's meal has not been appetizing, and Meng Meng occasionally takes advantage of the mother-in-law to go out to buy vegetables, will order some takeaway to eat, and then eat and dispose of it before the mother-in-law returns.
That day, the mother-in-law forgot to take something, came back to get it, and when she entered the door, she saw meng Meng dismantling the takeaway, and the mother-in-law's temper suddenly came up.
"Am I not cooking for you or am I not cooking at home?" My son raises you, do you deserve to eat takeaway? The mother-in-law said and threw the takeaway into the trash.
Meng Meng was stunned by the mother-in-law's actions, she has always thought that the mother-in-law does not let her eat takeaway is afraid of affecting the development of the child, did not think, is not willing to spend money, these days the grievances all gushed into the heart, she can no longer stand it, collapsed and cried.
That night, Meng Meng called home and said that she wanted to go home for a while, meng meng's parents found that meng meng was not right, and constantly asked, Meng Meng said what happened to her in-laws' house these days.
Meng Meng's parents knew that their children had suffered such a great grievance, and immediately set off and took more than thirty small trains to their in-laws' house. The moment I saw Meng Meng, my parents were also frightened, long-term depression and malnutrition, and Meng Meng not only did not have fat during pregnancy, but also lost more than a dozen pounds.
Seeing that Meng Meng's parents came, the mother-in-law not only did not apologize, but the evil person complained first: "Dear family, I have to say that this daughter you raised really has no tutor, eating and picking all day, and she will not do it, you take it back, you have to teach well, and you have to teach your husband and children after this!" ”
Meng Meng's parents did not fight a fight, at the beginning was afraid of their daughter being wronged, only in the in-laws to buy a dowry house for their daughter, thinking that their parents are not around, there is a house of their own is also a haven, did not expect things to become what they are today.
"Don't say it, my daughter-in-law is not worthy of you, divorce it, after the children will be with our surname, you go to the daughter-in-law who has a family church to cook!" 」 Meng Meng's mother said nothing and left with Meng Meng.
Soon after Meng Meng returned home, her husband came to find Meng Meng, saying that he realized that he had made a mistake, and the two of them would live in the future, and they would definitely not let Meng Meng be wronged again.
It turned out that when Meng Meng left, he left a letter for her husband and wrote down all the grievances she had suffered since marriage, and when her husband saw it, he had a big fight with his mother-in-law and sent him back to his mother-in-law's house.
The husband apologized very sincerely, and repeatedly promised Meng Meng's parents, and Meng Meng chose to forgive and went home with her husband.
03
Any party in the marriage encounters problems, should not escape, but to actively solve, hidden in the psychology, will only make things more and more serious, just like Meng Meng, if she insists on letting her mother-in-law go early in the morning, she will not torture herself for so long.
So in the marriage relationship, we must remember the following two points.
First: Kindness is misplaced, and in exchange for it must be hurt.
Kindness is a good virtue, we are taught to be a kind person from an early age, but no one has ever told us that kindness is also to be divided into objects.
Just like the farmer and the snake, obviously because of the farmer's kindness to save the snake, the snake came back to life but bit the farmer. People don't think the farmer is kind, but think that the man is really stupid.
Therefore, kindness must also be measured, and we must also ensure that we are not harmed.
We often because we are embarrassed, because we are afraid that others will be hurt, we blindly wronged ourselves, blindly say "forget it" to ourselves, and often find that even so, we may not be able to get the results we want.
Not all kindness can be treated with tenderness, but also depends on whether the people we treat well are worth it.
There will be many people like Meng Meng's mother-in-law in life, the more good you are to her, the more tolerant, the more she feels that you are weak, so as to bully you more and more intensely.
So, if you feel that your situation is really already very difficult, please face up to the problem, not because of your kindness, endless concessions.
Second: the mother's family is always the woman's confidence in the in-laws' house.
Although there is no door to say now, and people are gradually no longer paying attention to the red tape of wedding dowry, there are many people who are still old in their concepts and are used to bullying the soft and afraid of the hard.
As in mengmeng above, from the beginning of marriage, she accepted everything that her mother-in-law handled, even if she did not want to, she did not refute it, so that her mother-in-law thought that she was a soft persimmon and could be manipulated.
And Meng Meng married, the mother-in-law not only did not give the bride price money, the mother's family also lost a house, meng Meng's family originally hoped that Meng Meng did not have to live in the mother-in-law's home to send people under the fence, but the mother-in-law thought that this was upside down, and meng Meng was more unremitting.
Meng Meng is a distant marriage, her parents are not around, her husband is not towards himself, and he is once tolerant of his mother-in-law, and he gives his mother-in-law the opportunity to be arrogant.
In fact, Meng Meng's parents gave Meng Meng a sense of security, only because of Meng Meng's personality, did not tell the family about things, which led to such an unsatisfactory life.
Therefore, in marriage, it is appropriate to use the power of the mother's family to consolidate their family status, rather than playing a good hand like Meng Meng.
Many girls, feel married, no matter what happens is their own business, do not want to trouble the mother's family, do not want the mother's family to worry about themselves, all things are carried by themselves, until they can not sustain it.
There are also some girls who feel that their parents care more about their sons, and when they marry into the in-laws, their parents will not take care of themselves, so they give up asking for help.
Although the daughter who marries out spills water, girls are also the heart meat of their parents, how can they be bullied by others casually.
Therefore, if you have problems, you must communicate with your parents more, no matter when, your mother's home will always be your safe haven.
Text/No Pen