"Three years old and four years old do not divide the room, five years old and six years old regret the intestines"
When the child is a few years old, the bed and the room are a headache for many parents, and the children are not willing to leave the parents to sleep alone, but the parents have to let the child learn to be independent, so it must be forced to sleep with the child.
Most doctors say that 3 to 5 years old is the golden age for parents and children to sleep in separate rooms, so many parents will sleep with their children in separate rooms during this period. Something happened some time ago that made me think.
Sister's daughter Meng Meng is five years old this year, Meng Meng has been sleeping with her sister and brother-in-law since she was born, and when she was five years old, her sister wanted to let Meng Meng sleep alone, when we ate together, my sister asked Meng Meng if she could sleep alone at night, Meng Meng said that she did not want to sleep alone, she was afraid, but her sister had a very strong attitude, and when she came home at night, she cleaned up the room for Meng Meng to sleep alone.
Before going to bed at night, Meng Meng hugged her sister's neck and did not let go, she cried and did not want to sleep alone, her sister went to coax her for half a day before she fell asleep, did not expect that her sister just returned to the bedroom, Meng Meng woke up, holding her rag doll and came to her sister's room, the sister repeatedly coaxed her several times, until two o'clock in the morning Meng Meng knocked on her bedroom door again, the brother-in-law looked at the poor Baba daughter and carried Meng Meng into the room.
The next day, the sister bought Meng Meng the Barbie doll she has always liked in her room, hoping that Meng Meng could sleep in her room at night, did not expect Meng Meng to knock on the door at night, the sister could not go to coax her to sleep, so insisted for a week, the sister decided not to coax Meng Meng, meng Meng knocked again at night, the sister locked the room door fiercely, she thought that Meng Meng could not wait for them to come out and leave, did not expect that after an hour, the sister went out to the bathroom and saw Meng Meng leaning against the door.
Looking at poor Baba Mengmeng, the sister and brother-in-law softened their hearts, and they carried Mengmeng back to the room to sleep with them.
When parents and children sleep in separate beds and there is no definite time, and they do not have to abide by the standard of sleeping in separate beds before the age of 6, and sleeping in separate rooms with children is also a gradual process, some parents are very anxious to sleep with their children, why is this?
Many parents want to sleep in separate beds with their children because they are worried that their children will not be independent in the future, and have been dependent on their parents and mothers, Taiwanese actress Di Ying is an example, she has been pampering her son, giving her son 12 years old before weaning, she and her son have been sleeping together, until the child has a physiological reaction at the age of 15, they only began to sleep in separate beds, under the endless pampering of the mother, the child later became a "giant baby" and has a strong dependence on the mother.
Many parents feel that they have not been sleeping with their children in separate rooms is doting on children, children will not be independent in the future, in fact, it is not so, children and parents sleep in separate rooms is a gradual process, if parents suddenly force and children to sleep in separate rooms, children will lose their sense of security, feel that parents do not love themselves, so it is easy to affect the parent-child relationship, parents only give children enough love, in order to let children have a sense of security, children also dare to sleep alone.
Some parents say that children sleeping with their parents are prone to precocious puberty when they touch their parents' bodies, but doctors say that this is not the case, and children sleeping with their parents will not actually lead to precocious puberty.
At what age is it better for a child to sleep separately from his parents?
In fact, this does not have a clear answer, or according to the specific situation of the child, the friend's son in the four-year-old initiative to come to sleep alone, he listened to other children in the kindergarten said that the child grows up to sleep alone, at night when he comes home he wants to sleep alone, the friend said that sometimes his father is on a business trip, she wants to sleep with the son, the son refuses to come over, but there are also children such as the little niece Meng Meng is afraid to sleep alone, generally this situation is mostly a little girl.
Parents can judge whether to sleep in separate rooms according to the child's basic situation, if the child is particularly afraid of sleeping alone, you can let the child sleep with them for a period of time, parents usually have to make more psychological preparations for the child, do not directly "notify" the child to let the child sleep alone, the child and the adult, let them do anything before they also let them have a psychological preparation.
Children at a certain age will know to sleep with their parents, no one is willing to sleep with their parents when they are adults, this time parents want to stay can not stay, so parents in the child 3 to 5 years old do not rush to sleep with the child, anxious to sleep with the child in a separate bed is not good for the child.
Psychologist Fromm said in The Art of Love:
"The child must grow up, must be detached from the mother's and the mother's breasts, must become a complete, independent life. The true essence of the mother is to care for the growth of the child, which means also to care about the separation of the mother and the child. ”