Every holiday, as a mother is both expectant and a little worried, the reason is very simple: the baby at home is too clingy, and only stick to themselves, the holiday that was originally expected may eventually become more tired than work!
Friend Guo Guo Ma is like this! She seems to have a distinct "holiday phobia" because she is much more tired than usual during the holidays. As soon as the holiday is over, GuoGuo will stick to her inseparably, even go to the toilet, take a bath, Guoguo must open the door outside; it must be within the baby's line of sight, and if you can't see it for a while, you will cry, and sometimes you will cry when you get up and take something! The bigger it gets, the more abrasive it gets, and it's so hard to do anything. Every time the small long holiday came down for three days, Guo Guo's mother said that it seemed to be half a month long! Too tired!
Image source: @Visual China
| In fact, it's normal for babies before 3 years old to stick people!
In the small infant stage, the baby will not be too picky about different caregivers, as long as the baby's needs are met, they will not show too obvious clinginess;
About 4-7 months, babies begin to recognize the truth of the permanence of objects, and they will appear to look for disappearing things;
After 8-9 months, the baby has a close relationship with the most important caregiver (usually the mother), when the mother leaves the line of sight, and does not know when the mother will come back (the baby has not yet mastered the concept of time), in the process of waiting, there will be anxious emotions, afraid that the mother will not come, so crying, acting very clingy;
Around the age of 1, the baby's self-awareness gradually becomes stronger, and he will appear particularly clingy before he notices that his parents are leaving, and he will start crying.
The baby is born to about 3 years old, the longest contact with the mother, will inevitably form a dependence on the mother, this period of the baby sticky, is a normal psychological development. Maintaining a warm, intimate, moderate attachment relationship with your baby can both satisfy your baby and be in a happy mood. Therefore, do not label the baby because it is "clingy", or forcibly destroy the baby's sense of dependence.
| Babies are too clingy, how to develop independence?
Babies are too clingy, which is really maddening. In this case, the mother can also take some measures to improve the baby's clingy situation and cultivate the baby's independence.
1. Tell the baby in advance that he is leaving
When you have something to do and can't stay with your baby, you can tell your baby in advance how long you're going to be away and what you're leaving to do.
If you want to go to work/go out to buy vegetables, then directly tell the baby, "Mom wants to go to work/buy vegetables, you play with grandma first, wait for the evening to drink milk, the mother will come back", agree on a good time and return to the baby on time, so that the baby can establish a sense of trust. In addition, before leaving, let the baby know that the mother has something to do, and will miss the baby during the time of leaving, and express expectations for the baby, such as, "When I am not around you, you will definitely behave more bravely, and the mother believes in you." "Mothers can call or video their babies after work or during lunch breaks, which will alleviate the discomfort caused by separation."
If you just want to cook, go to the toilet, take a bath, etc., you can play games with your baby for a while, and when he concentrates on the game he likes, tell him what you are going to do and let him play for a while. Asking your baby's consent before leaving and letting him know where you are can also increase your baby's sense of security.
Image source: @Visual China
2. Before leaving, stabilize the baby's emotions
Some mothers before going to work, in the face of the baby's reluctance, they will also show a very difficult and unwilling to leave expression, often kissing and hugging the baby for ten minutes, and then deeply confessing dozens of rounds before leaving with tears. Such a state of separation will not alleviate the baby's anxiety, but will increase the pain of separation. The best thing to do is to communicate with the baby in advance about going out, say goodbye easily and happily, and make the baby feel that it is natural to be separated from the mother occasionally. In addition, you can also consider letting other family members help take turns to take care of the baby, and the best way is to give it to the child's father.
3. Give your baby the opportunity to do things on his own
Usually at home, you can provide the baby with the opportunity to approach the laborer or participate in labor, such as completing some simple housework, such as changing garbage bags, helping to pass things, etc. The child often likes to be a helper, which will bring him a sense of accomplishment and help the cultivation of independence. You can also take the baby out, let the baby help take some light things, when the baby feels tired, let him insist on it for a while, and constantly encourage him, which is also a good way to exercise independence.
All in all, there is always a reason behind every clingy baby, is the peak of attachment? Insecurity? Do you like to work against your parents? Or are you really tired and unwell? These require mothers to have more patience to discover. Usually, when the baby is too clingy, you must also learn how to guide the baby to be more independent!