Yesterday because of a small matter, I lost my temper with my son.
The teacher assigned them homework, did the animation dubbing in English, there was a line that was not said well several times, the little guy lost his temper, ran back to the bedroom and lay on the bed, buried his head in the pillow and cried, and the quilt also kicked to the ground.
When I heard his crying, my heart was very irritable, and I couldn't help but angrily rebuke him.
It is conceivable that the son's crying is like encountering a "catalyst", and he cries even harder.
In real life, whenever a child erupts into negative emotions, many parents may be like me, subconsciously thinking that it is a "bad thing" that needs to be stopped and suppressed, and always hopes that the child will accept any setbacks, disappointments, and always keep the sunshine.
However, this is impossible for anyone.
In fact, emotions are not good or bad, as long as they are emotions, they have a meaning of existence.
Even negative emotions have a positive impact on a child's growth, and every negative emotional experience is an opportunity to improve their emotional control.
The positive significance of negative emotions for a child's growth
1. Can help children with emotional cognition
When children lose their temper and cry, many parents will be angry and reprimanded, and behave more angrily than their children.
Over time, when children encounter the same situation, they simply cannot recognize that they are in negative emotions, do not understand why they have such emotions, and cannot accurately express themselves.
In fact, the first step in exercising children's emotional control ability is to recognize negative emotions.
With the development of children's self-awareness, many times negative emotions are mixed, if we can seize the opportunity to help children do a good job of emotional cognition, we can make them gain the ability to self-examination, lay a good foundation for emotional control ability.
For example, when a child loses his temper, we should help him realize:
Why do you get angry? Dissatisfied?
How do you feel when you're angry? Are there any other emotions? What are the negative effects on itself?
Although the child itself is experiencing negative emotions, from another point of view, this is also a good opportunity to help them with emotional cognition, if parents can guide them correctly, change their thinking, bad things can also become good things.
2. It's a great time for kids to express themselves
Everyone needs to express emotions, especially children.
However, due to various reasons, such as parental repression, past unfriendly experiences, etc., many times children will restrain themselves and refuse the free expression of emotions.
The emergence of negative emotions is actually a perfect time for children to express themselves.
When a child has negative emotions such as chagrin, anger, and fear, we can more clearly understand his true feelings and know how he will behave when he encounters negative emotions.
So when you encounter a similar situation next time, you can use a more correct method to solve it, so as to really solve the problem from the root.
How to use negative emotions to improve your child's emotional intelligence?
First, we need to accept the negative emotions of our children.
In the process of children's growth, there are countless cases of negative emotions, and when they see their children making emotions, many parents will feel restless and then angry.
In fact, children dare to lose their temper in front of their parents, which is precisely a manifestation of confidence and security in the family environment, which is a good thing.
When the child loses his temper and cries, we should try to give him comfort, try to empathize with the child, and establish a basis for communication.
Second, help children recognize and accept negative emotions.
When the child's emotions ease down and he can think rationally, we can help him correctly understand and accept the negative emotions.
For example, with the child to accurately define negative emotions, is it worry or fear? Or are you angry? Or sad or sad? Help children think about the specific differences between different negative emotions, recall the specific reasons for tantrums, and have a correct understanding of negative emotions.
At the same time, we also need to let children realize that everyone will have negative emotions, and that tantrums are not "important", what matters is how we control our emotions and behave better next time.
Finally, we need to be a good example for our children.
Many times, the child's tantrum will behave the same as the parents, the parents will yell and throw things when they are angry, and the child will also learn from the same and be subtly affected.
Therefore, to help children use negative emotions and improve emotional control, we must be a good example for children, when they are angry, correctly express their feelings, and try to let children participate in the process of handling emotions.
Over time, children learn our attitudes and treatment methods towards negative emotions, and naturally try to imitate and copy the correct practices.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
Everyone experiences negative emotions, and children are no exception.
In fact, negative emotions are not all bad, if we can take advantage of it, but can exercise the child's emotional control ability, which is conducive to its healthy growth.
Today's topic: What do you do when your child has negative emotions?
I am @ crooked mother, home has a cute treasure, focus on pregnancy, parenting knowledge research, more dry goods content, please pay attention to me.