Children are grumpy, irritable, and often do not listen to any dissuasion when they are angry, and even cry loudly, roll on the ground, or tear their hair, clothes, or drag adults, unless the adults meet their requirements, otherwise they will stalemate.
In the face of this situation of children, parents are very worried, and even some parents are in a hurry to "fight violence with violence", which is an inappropriate practice.
Not having children is deliberately vexatious, and children lose their temper, often sending a signal for help. So what to do in the face of a child's grumpy temper?
Xiao Hao, 8 years old this year, although not tall, thin and thin, but his temper is not small, in school is grumpy, irritable, if any boy provokes him because of a little thing, he will be so angry that he clenches his fists, his face is red, and he wants to fight with someone.
Usually in class, he does not listen carefully, likes to quietly sabotage, the teacher finds criticism, he will be angry, and often skip class.
At home, parents educate him, if you say one word about him, he will contradict you ten, and his father thinks he is too rebellious and often can't help but hit him.
What should I do if this continues? Go to the hospital to check that all trace element indicators in the body are normal.
Guangzhou Child Psychological Counseling:
Xiao Hao's situation is usually related to family.
During counseling, parents often come to counsel for their children's temper and difficulty in control. These children often cry loudly when their parents do not satisfy their desires, and some even roll on the floor, or tear their hair and clothes, or hold the adult's legs without letting go.
Children in anger often do not listen to dissuasion and will stalemate unless the adult meets their demands.
In the face of children's situation, some parents will also "fight violence with violence" when they can't bear it, and let their children stop temporarily by hitting or shouting loudly.
However, if the problem is not improved in time, many children will "get worse" next time, and the battle between parents and children continues to escalate, and in the end, it is often the parents who compromise.
▼ Children's problems are usually related to the family, and psychology believes that there are several reasons that are easy to cause children's irritable personality:
First, the family is not harmonious, and there are often conflicts between husband and wife over family trivial matters, the light one is noisy, and the heavy one fights;
Second, parents and elders have a discordant relationship, do not respect the elderly, etc., children are influenced by this, their thoughts and behaviors are affected, and bad personalities are formed;
Third, the parents' educational concept is stubborn and backward, or because one of the parents is hot-tempered and arbitrary, the child is affected.
Don't think that "children like to lose their temper is innate", although the child's physical and mental development is not yet mature, the natural temperament is also different, but the child's good emotional control ability is more the cultivation of the acquired environment.
1. Regardless of the child's natural temperament, parents should learn to accept, adopt different parent-child interaction methods according to the child's personality characteristics and ability level, and have different expectations for the child, step by step.
2. Parents should set a good example of self-control. If parents perform well in self-control, children will also be affected.
One visitor was impatient and impatient when waiting for a bus, and her three-year-old daughter was also affected by this, wanting something immediately and losing her temper if she was not satisfied.
In order for her daughter to have a good character, she began to learn to change herself, control her impatience instead of losing her temper with her daughter or things around her, it was difficult at first, but she tried to surpass herself, and after half a year, her temper was much better, people were also tolerant a lot, her daughter changed more, she was very focused and patient.
3. Let children over the age of three learn to delay gratification. When a child wants something, parents can consciously push it back for a while before meeting his request. Note that delayed gratification and dissatisfaction are two different things.
For example, the child passes by a toy store and wants a toy, but the toy child already has, and the parents do not want to buy it for him, but according to the previous situation, if you refuse at this time, the child will definitely make a fuss, and finally the parents have to buy it.
Mom and dad can not refuse, first take the child into the store to see other toys, divert the child's attention, buy other toys for him or buy this toy for him half an hour later; Or, you can empathize with your child, express your parents' understanding of his desire to buy this toy, and buy it for him in a few days.
In a similar way, help children unconsciously learn to restrain their desires and obtain the ability to delay gratification, and children's self-control and self-discipline will also be improved.
4. Let five-year-olds learn the rules. Before the age of three, parents should try to meet the needs of children, but after the age of three, they need to help children get out of the "two-person world" with their mothers, so that children can explore the world and socialize.
Five-year-olds need to have a certain sense of rules, for example, when eating, tell children that the food they put on their plate must be eaten; Be in school on time.
After these rules are trained, children will gradually form rules in their own hearts, know what can and cannot not, and slowly become a habit. When children make it their duty to follow these rules, they naturally learn restraint.
If parents do not teach their children some rules, it will be difficult for children to follow the teacher's instructions after entering school, and it will be easy to get into trouble, and a series of violations of discipline and regulations will occur.
5. Do not spoil the child too much, and properly control the child's material conditions. Parents' doting and rich material conditions easily make children feel that what they want must be obtained, and after getting it, they do not know how to cherish it, pick and choose, and make unreasonable trouble.
Therefore, appropriate control of the child's material conditions, such as eating what is given, if you are not willing to eat, you will starve; Since the toys that should not be bought have decided not to buy them, the child will not agree to make trouble.
Mom and dad should realize that children's personality habits are cultivated from an early age, accumulated through little things, and parents should adhere to principles and teach carefully in small things.