Antecedents of consultation:
Eight-year-old Yangyang was taken to the children's psychological counseling room by his parents because he often did not abide by school rules, disrupted classroom order, and confronted teachers.
This is a "soft and hard boy", intelligent, powerful boy, he cannot sit quietly, often disturbs classroom discipline and cleverly exploits the loopholes of the rules, and the teachers dare not speak angrily; The class was interpolated, funny and ridiculed, causing classmates to coax and agree...
The teachers gradually lost patience with him and began to criticize and correct him; And any attempt to discipline him will anger him, even if the teacher is gentle, will make him feel humiliated, feel unfair, and then burst into stronger anger and hostility:
More hostile to teachers, antagonistic at every turn, disrupting the classroom;
Suddenly going out during class and making excuses to wander outside;
Switching heads and ears in class, deliberately provoking the surrounding classmates;
Sleeping "snoring" and "yawning" for days, not listening to lectures, deliberately showing their extreme boredom, in order to humiliate the teacher;
It is clear that you can do well in the exam, but deliberately take a bad exam, thinking that this can retaliate against the teacher, make the teacher unhappy, and the performance is not up to standard
……
Yangyang attacked authority everywhere, had no intention of studying, his grades declined, the relationship between teachers and students became more and more tense, and his confrontation became more intense, a vicious circle. It can be said that he was excited and happy by his disobedience, and he also suffered because of his disobedience.
In this regard, parents and class teachers are very helpless and distressed, sighing that they use their intelligence in the wrong place, have inexplicable anger towards authority and rules, lack of respect, do not admit mistakes, do not reflect, and do not know if there is a problem with family education. The parents are also confused, obviously Yang Yang is very favored at home, and also gives him a lot of freedom, rarely criticizes him.
Family Background:
Yangyang is the only son in the family, raised by his grandmother, his parents are dual-career workers, his father often travels, and his grandfather died early.
Grandma is more spoiled by Yangyang, and the grandson will basically be satisfied immediately, and the only person who can suppress Yangyang at home is his father. But Dad himself is not emotionally stable enough, has bipolar disorder, and sometimes can't stand the fuss will hit him.
Yangyang often plays tricks on grandma, deceives grandma in order to play with mobile phones, often bargains and plays tricks; He also often lost his temper at home, accusing his parents of not loving him, etc., and asking his family to compensate him. Mom and grandma have nothing to do with Yangyang, Dad will beat him, and Yangyang can be a little better after being beaten, but he will commit it again in two days.
Parents find Yangyang disorderly and difficult to discipline.
Interpersonal at School:
When Yangyang was at school, he would say whatever he wanted and provoked the teacher, class leader and other class administrators everywhere, which won the adoration of the more naughty children in the class, and encouraged him to come forward from time to time. Yangyang was even more excited because of this, feeling that he was very powerful and very manly. The admiration of his peers also strengthens his confrontational behavior.
Usually play games, more violent, but if you lose, your emotions are out of control, murder teammates, drop mobile phones, smash things, etc.
His parents suspected him of being hyperactive – difficulty concentrating on studying, deserting in class, inability to be quiet, and so on. Fear that as Yangyang gets older, it will become more difficult to discipline.
(Due to the principle of confidentiality of psychological counseling, the above personal information related to visitors has been modified.) )
Guangzhou heard about the child psychological counselor Xu Wenjiao teacher of the Psychological Counseling Center:
After counseling, evaluation and diagnosis, Yangyang's behavioral performance did not meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but had a tendency to oppose defiant disorder.
What is oppositional defiant disorder?
It is a pattern of behavior in which children develop repeatedly resistant, openly defiant, disobedient, and hostile to authority. The basic characteristics are defiance, hostility, antagonism, provocation, brutality, vandalism, or silence and negative confrontation, often appearing in early childhood and reaching their peak in adolescence.
Manifestations of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): 1. Excessive aggression; 2. Frequent temper outbursts; 3. Like to argue; 4. Ignoring regulations and requirements; 5. Annoying behavior.
Clinically, DSM-IV diagnostic criteria are generally used:
1. Patterns of passive, hostile, and defiant behavior that persist for at least 6 months, and whose diagnosis needs to meet at least 4 of the following items.
(1) frequent tantrums; (2) often quarreling with adults; (3) Frequently refusing to obey an adult's request or breaking the rules; (4) Frequently and intentionally annoying others; (5) Constantly blame others for their mistakes or bad deeds; (6) Often "angry" or easily annoyed by others; (7) Often angry or resentful of others; (8) often holding grudges or seeking revenge;
2. Behavioral disorders that result in significant social, academic, or occupational impairment.
3. The behavioral disorder is not caused by psychotic symptoms or mood disorders.
4. Differential diagnosis: does not meet the criteria for conduct disorder, and if the patient is 18 years of age and older, does not meet the criteria for antisocial personality disorder.
It is important to note that while good children sometimes lose their temper or refuse some reasonable requests from their parents, children with opposing defiance disorder can make parents encounter more challenges in the process of parenting. This type of child likes to create conflict, once parents or teachers start arguing with them, they will become more excited, will constantly throw "bait", such as messing around, turning black and white, bargaining, provocative, non-cooperation, emotional outbursts, etc., in various ways to involve parents in this conflict until the parents collapse. Many parenting styles that work well for normal children often have little effect on troubled children.
Counseling and improvement for such children usually requires longer periods of time and family cooperation, and in the first few sessions, the child will provoke the counselor.
In family parenting, parents must learn how to avoid getting involved in arguments with their children for children who are opposing defiant barriers. At the same time, parents need to pay attention to the positive changes in their children, and firmly adhere to an appropriate and clear reward and punishment system that can resist their children's "bargaining".
In addition, parents must learn to control their emotions and remain friendly and calm, because such children are very sensitive to parental anger, and when they perceive their parents' anger, they will immediately get excited and enter a state of "preparation".
Xu Wenjiao
・Listen about it Counseling Center - Senior Counselor
National second-level psychological counselor
Sandbox game consultant
Member of the Professional Committee of Psychological Counselors of Guangdong Mental Health Association
Member of Guangdong Psychological Society
Member of the Psychoanalytic Professional Committee
Psychological consultant of the "Rights Protection Service Station" of the Guangdong Provincial Women's Federation