As parents, we all want their children to develop healthily: good personality, normal IQ, and happy life.
And if the child has a withdrawn personality, it often makes parents feel troubled, worried, and helpless, because most of the children with a withdrawn personality close their hearts, appear more timid, withdrawn, and cowardly in the face of things, and often have a guard, hostility, indifference, irritability or contempt for the surrounding environment or people, unwilling to contact people, and it is more difficult to adapt to changes in the environment, and it is difficult to cooperate with others and group communication.
Generally speaking, whether a child is withdrawn or not, you can find out from the age of 3. After the age of 3, peer relationships have a unique significance for children's psychological development.
A peer relationship is a common activity and cooperative relationship between children of the same or similar age.
Good peer relationship can promote children's cognitive development and strong social skills, and will have a great impact on children's personality, personality qualities and behavior.
First, good peer relationships can meet children's needs for belonging and love, as well as for respect. In the collective life of children, with good peer relationships and their own small partners, children can truly integrate into the group and experience that sense of belonging.
Second, good peer relationships provide children with the opportunity to learn the reactions of others and promote the development of individual cognitive abilities.
Third, peers are children's special information channels and frames of reference. In the process of communication, children will share their experiences with each other, for example, one child said where I went to play and what I saw during the National Day, and other children will share similar experiences.
Finally, stable peer relationships are not only an important source of emotional support for children, but also an effective way for children to properly release internal pressure and aggression. A good companion relationship between children is the same as a good parent-child relationship, which can make children feel liked, and it is normal to occasionally fight and be a little awkward.
However, some children find it difficult to open themselves up to good peer relationships because they are relatively withdrawn. This is related to both the parent-child relationship and the child's inner development state.
In general, children's play mainly goes through the following stages:
(1) Autistic play: Children under 0-2 years old play alone most of the time. They want their mother by their side, but they don't notice other adults and children;
(2) Parallel play: children between 2-3 years old usually play next to other children, they will only have simple communication with each other, may show their toys to another child, but still play alone;
(3) Social play: Children aged 3-4 play together. They learn to share with each other and participate in group activities.
As children get older, they take on various stages of play, but the form of play becomes more mature.
If there are problems in the early attachment relationship between children aged 0-2 and form an insecure attachment pattern, children may often be unable to play with their own peace of mind, and they cannot do without their mothers; Or act indifferent to the arrival or departure of your mother and stay completely in your own world.
At the age of 2-3, they are still stuck in the previous stage, afraid of separating from their mothers, or afraid of actively interacting with children around them.
At the age of 3-4, adults will find that children have difficulty adapting to interactions and games with peers, or difficulty participating in group activities, or the games they play are relatively childish, and there is a feeling of "not participating" and "not being able to keep up (other children)".
In the face of this situation of the child, if the child is 0-2 years old, parents try to give the child a secure attachment relationship.
If the child is 2-3 years old, the mother should pay attention to the gradual separation from the child, let the father participate in the child's education and upbringing, often take the child to outdoor activities, and meet more children of the same age.
If the child is more than 3 years old and has difficulty in peer communication, parents need to be more patient, encourage children to go out to observe and understand other children, parents themselves should also guide children to see their own strengths, see the strengths of others, let children learn to like themselves, like others, feel the kindness, warmth, tolerance of others, the outside world, so that children can let go of the anxiety and defense in their hearts, and slowly try to approach others and contact the outside world.
Guangzhou heard about the conclusion of child psychological counseling
In the modern era where there are many only children, if parents can grasp the scale of love, pay attention to the emotional and psychological needs of their children during their growth, and properly help their children's development at each stage of growth, it will have a huge impact on their children's lives.
If the child's early development is hindered and troubles occur in the later peer relationship, you can seek the help of professional child psychological counseling to help the child's heart be repaired and adjusted in childhood, and the effect will be better.