Irritability, frequent tantrums at children, please meditate on this sentence

Wen 丨 Fish Dad Image source: Meisu Gallery

1

A few days ago, I saw a mother leave a message saying that she was angry with her child again, and I don't know what to do?

"I think the child is my own dead hole, I often break down because of him, but I myself am an acute person, it is difficult to control my temper, and I will even hit him and grab his ears.

Every time I saw him crying cautiously, for fear of provoking me to lose my temper, my heart was very painful, and I regretted why I did this to my child. Then I myself ran into the room crying, still bitter and regretful. ”

In the process of raising children, many parents say that they clearly feel that they love their children, but they still hurt them because they can't control their emotions.

When the emotions come, I feel that the child is not kissed in an instant!

Just thinking that venting a tantrum can make them snack and remember something.

At this time, it is rarely rationally considered what is the reason, has the child done wrong?

How to deal with it yourself is more appropriate.

Most parents' emotions are easily affected by their children's crying or behavior.

It is easy to fall into the emotional vortex and have some behaviors that you regret.

No one likes the look of breaking down and losing their temper.

No parent likes the way they yell at their children.

And children, even less will like it.

So what to do?

2

One day, in the Meditations, I read the following passage:

"When your circumstances seem to force you to be troubled and uneasy, quickly reflect and do not stay in that state of disharmony unnecessarily. By constantly returning to a state of harmony, you gain greater control. ”

There is a sense of enlightenment.

Because we always have emotions of one kind or another.

Especially after becoming a parent, the state of raising children is also varied.

There are relaxing and happy parent-child times, and there are also tense confrontation times.

For example, during the recent summer vacation, Xiaoxiaoyu got up early every morning, but did not brush his teeth and wash his face, but would play in the living room for a long time, or read a book early in the morning.

Calling him several times is also grinding.

And the things on the desk are also randomly placed and not organized.

Seeing this, it's really infuriating.

Always taught him to do it, or not do it well.

This is one of the things we often complain about our children.

And because of one thing, it can cause a lot of other emotions.

When you are angry, you can't help but lose your temper with him.

This is what children make us feel upset and uneasy, and put us in that state of discord.

In this state, we have a lot of mixed emotions.

A lot of it is subconscious, such as my own experiences as a child.

Or something that you are afraid of in your heart, something that you have been anxious about.

It will gush out when your inner turmoil breaks down.

Of course, parents should guide their children to develop good habits.

But some excessive emotional reactions, just because of the responsibility of teaching children?

Or maybe there are some hidden reasons.

For example, I don't like to tidy up myself, and I am more casual in life.

In my heart, I hope that the little fish will do well.

So when he behaves differently than I expected, there is a strong emotional response.

It cannot be denied that I am the creator of these bad emotions.

3

In addition to genetic factors, children learn the behavior and speech of their parents from birth.

When children subtly learn your shortcomings.

And then you blame the child for doing this, is it the child's fault?

What they hate and fear, children learn, parents will feel more uneasy and angry.

There is a saying that children's problems, in the final analysis, are parents' problems.

That's right.

After losing my temper with my child, I will reflect and regret why I can't control it? Expect yourself to find a better way to talk to your inner self and better manage your emotions.

In the face of problems, do not fall into those emotional vortexes, but find a way to withdraw in time and enter a state of rational calm.

In this state, we can communicate with children more effectively and make guidance.

Losing your temper and scolding is never a good idea, it just scares the child at the time.

4

When parents themselves are aware of their problems and work to change.

Many problems will disappear, or even not at all.

Because there are many problems that are actually just that you can't get by with yourself.

But they think that it is a child's problem, so they have to toss children often.

I will change the above sentence a little, give it to myself and to you:

"When the child's behavior makes me irritable, don't rush to accuse the tantrum, please take a deep breath, calm down as soon as possible, don't let yourself fall into that emotional vortex, think about the child's good, think about what causes your emotions? In this way, a better parent-child relationship can be obtained. ”

The next time you want to lose your temper, you can meditate on it a few times in your heart, and it will have an effect.

Being a parent is a practice, willing to give children a better version of themselves.