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In recent years, "PUA" has appeared frequently on the Internet and in news reports. The full name of the word is "Pick-up Artist", which originally referred to men's improvement of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills through certain training and learning, and more smoothly interact with women.
However, because it is used by some people with ulterior motives, the word gradually deviates and becomes synonymous with deceiving women and exercising mind control. In love PUA, women become the main victims.
The image comes from the Internet
In recent years, the PUA incident that has attracted greater attention is the incident in 2019 when Bao Li, a peking university girl, was mentally controlled by her boyfriend Mu Linhan and eventually committed suicide. Mu linhan was convicted of "ill-treatment" and arrested in June 2020. But for Bao Li's parents, the loss of their daughter is a pain that they can't heal.
Therefore, parents with daughters must be vigilant, and pay attention to cultivating their daughters from an early age to establish true self-confidence, independent thinking, maintain rationality in feelings, and not be "PUA" by people with ulterior motives.
Many parents have another kind of trouble: we have reminded our daughter to see people with her eyes, but she just doesn't listen, she must be with the scumbag, and in turn treats us as enemies!
In this case, parents must first reflect on the parent-child relationship with their daughters, why are parents kind and kind to make suggestions, but they will anger their daughters?
There are often deeper psychological roots behind this, usually parents have caused superimposed psychological trauma to their daughters in the past, and what parents say, daughters do not like to hear.
In addition, the father must reflect on whether his parent-child relationship with his daughter is close.
The image comes from the Internet
In clinical psychological intervention, we found that if the father-daughter long-term parent-child relationship is not good, such as the father's lack of attention to the daughter, companionship, and even the education method is relatively rough, the daughter may excessively desire the love of the opposite sex when she grows up, and is easily blinded by superficial small favors and rhetoric, and loses her mind in love.
The patient we treated, Allie, is a prime example. Many fathers are usually busy with work, rarely accompany their daughters, and although there is no quarrel with their daughters, there are not many topics to talk about in depth. Many fathers are satisfied with this relationship, and even feel that "I am okay with my girlfriend".
But in fact, this is far from enough, the father and daughter have only not encountered a major conflict for the time being. When it comes to major disagreements such as finding a partner, choosing a job, etc., the quarrel can be very intense. Even if the father recognizes the scumbag, he cannot make the daughter listen to his words.
Therefore, whether the daughter can get happiness in life, the father plays a great role in influencing. If the father hopes that what he says has weight, from the time the daughter is very young, he must pay attention to establishing a close parent-child relationship with her, that is the real "little cotton jacket".
Of course, not all fathers have a good sense and ability of self-reflection, and some fathers have a paranoid personality, always obstinate, never realizing that they have caused psychological trauma to their daughters.
At this time, in order to make the daughter more likely to achieve happiness in the future, the mother must take on the heavy responsibility and deal with it more wisely. On the one hand, it is necessary to establish a close parent-child relationship with the daughter and guide the daughter to understand the deep-seated reasons for the father's paranoia, which is related to the background of the father's growth stage and the superimposed psychological trauma he has also experienced. If the daughter can understand this, it will reduce the anger and resistance to the father.
On the other hand, it is necessary to consciously affirm the husband's dedication to the family, maintain a good husband-wife relationship, and then slowly guide the husband to start self-reflection and close the relationship between the daughter and the father.
Some women are very angry with their husbands, not to mention giving each other recognition, and they can't even talk to each other calmly. This is often because in the marriage relationship, these women are also subjected to superimposed psychological trauma from their husbands, and they are deeply disappointed and helpless, so these emotions are completely understandable.
But if you want your daughter to be happier in the future and the whole family to be more harmonious, sometimes one of them really needs to be rational and take the first step. In many families, the father is more paranoid and the mother is more suitable for this role.
In addition, parents must consciously guide their daughters to establish true self-confidence, have independent personality ideas, and after entering the society, they must maintain economic independence through their own efforts, and do not need to be attached to men.
When women have more say in love and marriage, they are less likely to be PUA, and they are more able to get the real appreciation, respect and recognition of the other half, and the two are more stable in their feelings, and even become soul mates and obtain real happiness.