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Marriage is a practice of two people side by side, which needs to comfort and nourish each other.
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Text | Parent-child Picture | Source network
Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you
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I have seen such a sentence: "Perfect marriage is rare, and unsatisfactory is the norm of marriage." ”
Indeed it is.
In this world, none of us can stop the chickens and dogs in marriage.
When there are problems in marriage, we are always used to confiding in the people around us and want to hear their opinions.
However, having a conflict with your husband, women don't find 3 kinds of people to complain, not only can't help you but also hurt you.
01
A girlfriend with an unhealthy heart
There is a saying: "Fireproof, anti-theft and anti-girlfriend." ”
There is a kind of girlfriend with an unhealthy heart, when your marriage goes wrong, not only will you make some harmful moves, but you may even ruin your family.
I have encountered such a case.
Xiaoyu and Yo-Yo are friends who have nothing to say, and Xiaoyu is superior to Yo-Yo in all aspects, which makes her feel very superior, so she has been firmly grasping this friendship.
After graduating from college, the two went to the same city, often gathering together, but the arrogant Xiaoyu did not have the warm and simple Yo-Yo popularity, Yo-Yo is no longer her gold medal green leaf, Xiaoyu feels unbalanced in her heart.
In order to make up for this gap, Xiaoyu made a boyfriend with good conditions, and in less than half a year, he quickly entered the palace of marriage.
However, a year later, Yo-Yo also met a good man, Ah Ke. Ah Ke's family is well-off and understands romance, and soon captured the heart of Youyou, and the two held a grand wedding.
This made Xiaoyu hate even more, and the simple Yo-Yo did not know the thoughts of her girlfriend, and still shared the bits and pieces of her happiness with her.
If life is sweet, there must be bitterness. Behind the infinite scenery, there is also unspeakable pain.
Married for two years, Yo-Yo has not had children, so she is often blinded by her mother-in-law, and under the influence of her mother-in-law, her husband is also hot and cold to her.
Finally, one day, Yo-Yo could no longer stand her husband's attitude and cried with a little rain. Looking at Yo-Yo's painful look, Xiaoyu was very happy in his heart, and did not forget to give Yo-Yo an "idea".
She tells Youyou that Ah Ke is very filial and obedient, and if she wants to catch Ah Ke, she must first get her mother-in-law. Yoyo's illness rushed to the doctor, shifted the focus to the mother-in-law, and ignored Ah Ke every day in order to please the mother-in-law.
At this time, the light rain had the opportunity to attack Ah Ke.
Ah Ke is gentle on the surface, but in fact has a restless heart. Xiao Yu was already beautiful, and without effort, he got Ah Ke.
Since then, the two have begun a 3-year underground affair. Xiao Yu enjoyed the rich materials given by her husband while enjoying the romance of Ah Ke and the leisurely friendship, and has always maintained peace.
After all, paper can't contain the fire, Yo-Yo and Xiaoyu's husband know all this, Xiaoyu eventually lost her precious marriage, and Ah Ke also lost the child that Yo-Yo just conceived.
It's not her fault that you are simple and kind, but above our kindness, there must be a pair of fiery eyes. When others give us advice, we have to calmly think about whether it is feasible.
Yo-Yo is not stupid, but the authorities are obsessed, and they believe what they think is "best friend".
People with three wrong views will give you ideas with "purpose" and even intervene in your marriage to make everything irreparable.
02
Own parents
Parents are the ones who, after you and your lover have quarreled and reconciled as ever, still have no way to forgive each other.
There is a friend, no matter what happens with her husband, she has to tell her mother everything, even if it is only because her husband and friends go out to play ball, and there is no such a small thing as accompanying her.
Slowly, the mother no longer trusted the son-in-law, no matter what the son-in-law did, he had to provoke, and even pointed the source of the contradiction to the mother-in-law.
Because friends often told her mother that her mother-in-law's was not, her mother thought that everything was provoked by this evil mother-in-law.
And her husband is the same, every time she complains about what she says, her husband also has to tell her mother-in-law as she is.
Gradually, the family began to have a gap.
Once, her mother came to her house and complained to her that her mother-in-law did not pay attention to her. She felt that her mother had been wronged, so she was furious with her husband, but her husband said that his mother had said hello.
She decided that her mother would not lie, because of this, after her mother returned, she could not sleep for several days.
She was particularly upset in her heart, so she made various provocations about her mother-in-law, believing that her mother-in-law was not educated, and the beds she slept in were bought when she got married (in fact, she did not want it herself, and gave it to her mother-in-law).
The husband was angry and dismantled the bed, and the mother-in-law was helpless and could only move out of this home.
The matter became impossible to end, and she was embarrassed and wanted to call her mother-in-law back, but her mother did not allow her to ignore her husband and mother-in-law.
Huge house, only she and her husband are left. But since then, my husband has never said a word to her. She wanted to ease the family relationship, but her mother forced her to divorce, feeling that such a family could not stay, which made her very painful.
She finally realized how undeserved the "bitterness" she usually complained to her mother about.
In fact, every parent wants their children to live well, and in the eyes of parents, their children are the best. Based on this primitive love, parents cannot objectively evaluate and view your lover.
They will only intervene in your marriage as elders, accusing the other party and escalating the contradictions between your husband and wife.
Adults, to learn to solve problems in their own way, when parents have an opinion of their other half, we also have to learn to skillfully resolve.
We can't copy the parents' mode of getting along with us, and no matter how good the parents' feelings are, they can only be used as our reference, not textbooks.
Because there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same, and there are no two people with exactly the same personality.
01
The opposite sex with ambiguous relationships
In life, those of the opposite sex who have a good feeling for you must keep their distance, especially when there is a problem with the relationship between husband and wife.
When people are hurt, their hearts are very fragile, and it is easy to let the opposite sex who has different thoughts about you take advantage of the void.
Xiao yun was originally a happy woman, and she and her husband were introduced to each other. After two years together, both parties felt very good, and they naturally entered the palace of marriage.
After marriage, the feelings of the two are still undiminished, but there is less passion and more blandness.
Xiao Yun is a person who pays attention to spiritual pursuits, and in the face of this plain as water life, he always feels that some colors are missing.
As a result, he will often tell his male colleagues who are a few years younger than himself about the bitterness in his heart. Every time, male colleagues would listen carefully to her and make her happy, telling her to learn to let go of herself and enjoy life.
She found that compared with Mu Ne's husband, male colleagues have more unique insights, people are more sunny, and there are always endless fresh topics.
Later, as long as there was a conflict with her husband, she would go to a male colleague to solve her problems, and the male colleague always spared no effort to comfort her and take her to a romantic restaurant and bar. Gradually, she became obsessed with this man.
Finally, one day, the male colleague expressed his good feelings to her, and after several struggles, Xiaoyun still could not withstand the sweet words of the male colleagues, and the two came together.
Soon, the East Window Incident occurred, and Xiao Yun ended up with a scattered fate. The male colleague who said he loved her also married someone else a year later.
In the face of Xiao Yun's questioning, he only said lightly, we are just making a scene, how can you take it seriously?
Xiao Yun regretted it endlessly, but he could never go back to the beginning.
In fact, marriage is a cup of boiled water, or a cup of sweet and sour drinks, which is the taste of husband and wife.
When you feel that marriage is as bland as water, it is better to make a romantic dinner and buy a bouquet of flowers than to complain and complain about meaninglessness.
Marriage is a consumable, and no one's marriage will be smooth sailing. We are to cherish it as if we were preserving a beloved.
When there is a problem in marriage, you can find a trustworthy person to talk to, but the three types of people mentioned above are not suitable to talk to, but bring you more trouble and trouble.
If the problem is really inevitable, we can also consult a professional and ask for help.
Of course, marriage is a practice of two people side by side, which needs to comfort and nourish each other.
May our marriage be filled with sunshine and warmth.
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