The down payment is 150,000 more, the husband asks for the AA system, the wife showdown: want absolute fairness, can

Emotions are a unique proof that everyone is born, everyone has different emotions, but everyone's stories are the same, hello! Hello, I am Yu'er, pay attention to my words, into your heart!

In "The First Half of My Life", there is a line:

What is marriage, isn't life not easy, to find a teammate, in the same boat?

Regarding the meaning of marriage, Zang Hongfei also said in "Strange Story": We need marriage, because we hope that there is someone who can accompany us to fight against the world.

The meaning of marriage is nothing more than to find someone to accompany the storm, to resist potential risks in life together, and to obtain emotional and financial support through marriage.

For ordinary people, this meaning is more obvious, to provide mortgages together, to raise children together, and to face difficulties together.

Having a reliable partner and hugging together for warmth will really be much easier than facing the wind and rain alone.

01.Is AA marriage feasible?

Knowingly, there is a problem:

The boyfriend asks for a life after marriage AA, is such a marriage model feasible?

Here's a high-praise answer:

Marriage is about getting emotional and financial support, and living in an AA system means you can't get the other person's financial support in your marriage. The other party refuses to provide financial support, not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to.

This means that the other party's emotional support is also greatly reduced. What is the point of a marriage that provides you with neither emotional nor financial support?

There is a saying that where a man's money is, his heart is there; if a husband and wife divide their money, they must be distracted.

Husband and wife are one and the same, honor and disgrace, but AA marriage has cut the closely linked interest community into two ends.

Moreover, the AA system will expand each other's scheming hearts.

Today's calculation is about consumption, and he will be concerned about giving, but how can the things that can be paid be easily explained and sorted out?

Especially in marriage, how can women use money to measure the invisible efforts of pregnancy and childbirth, breastfeeding and child-rearing, and taking care of housework?

If the heart of calculation is too heavy, selfishness will arise, marriage will gradually become a transaction, and the feelings of husband and wife will become weaker in the calculation of day after day.

02. The down payment is 150,000 more, and the husband asks for the AA system

The marriage of the reader Gu Na (pseudonym) is also very unhappy because of the AA system life.

Gu Na used to be like Wang Manni in "Thirty Only", not willing to live an ordinary life in the small county of her hometown, and after graduating from college, she stayed alone in the second-tier provincial capital city to work.

After working hard in the bustling city for several years, in addition to a stable job, only Ben San's age. At this time, she met Zhou You (pseudonym) in the same situation.

In the marriage market, two people who are equally embarrassed will soon hit it off.

For economic reasons, the two did not buy a house in the provincial city when they got married. Zhou You is the middle management of the company, and the company has arranged a one-bedroom and one-living apartment for him.

Gu Na's company also arranged a single dormitory, and the two usually had lunch in their respective company canteens, and in the evening they would buy vegetables and cook together, and meet at Zhou You's residence.

Half a year later, Gu Na was pregnant, and considering the child's household registration problem, the two decided to put the purchase of a house on the agenda.

Later, Zhou You's family made up 480,000 yuan, Gu Na's mother's family also made 180,000 yuan, and the two made a down payment of 660,000 yuan and bought a suite. Then the two took out their own savings to renovate the house and buy furniture and appliances.

Zhou You works in a large enterprise with a monthly salary of about 12,000; Gu Na works within the system, with a monthly salary plus various bonuses, and earns more than 80,000 yuan a year.

Zhou You's income is higher than Gu Na's, plus he is usually more frugal, so his savings are more than Gu Na's. In terms of decoration, furniture, and home appliances, he also paid more money than Gu Na.

In daily life, Zhou You often mentioned that he paid more.

Gu Na originally thought he was just joking, but gradually found out that he was really angry about this matter.

Gu Na is very depressed, men marry women, men at the beginning of marriage, pay more resources than women, is not very normal?

After more than half a year, the child was born, Gu Na sat in the confinement of the in-laws' house, after the end of the maternity leave, she took the child to move into the new house to live, and the mother-in-law also came to help with the child.

At this time, Zhou You proposed AA system life. Gu Na also knew that AA life was unfair to her, but in order to make Zhou You's psychology more balanced, she agreed without much thought.

03.66 million down payment you only out of 180,000, not fair

She and Zhou You were originally independent of each other's economy, and the AA system was not difficult to implement.

The biggest monthly expense for the two of them is a mortgage. The house was originally bought with a Loan from Gu Na's Provident Fund, it was the first house, the interest rate was low, and the monthly loan repayment was about 6,000, and the two sides were evenly shared.

In addition, the couple each paid 2,000 yuan per month for the mother-in-law's daily expenses. Other personal expenses are the responsibility of each.

The AA system life originally went very smoothly, but Zhou You was also extraneous.

Zhou You felt that his mother came to help with the children, and he also had to buy vegetables to cook and do housework, which was very hard.

He said to Gu Na: "My mother is so hard, we each give her 1500, just as a salary." ”

Of course, Gu Na refused, saying: "This is not fair, I take 1500 more, and the salary will basically not be much left..."

Gu Na proposed to let her mother come and take the child, without paying wages, and there was no mother-in-law contradiction.

However, Zhou You was not happy, saying that he had hundreds of thousands more in the down payment, decoration fees, home appliances and furniture in the wedding room, which was called unfair.

Gu Na saw that he had come out with these things again, and she was a little helpless and a little annoyed, so she decided to showdown and make it clear at once.

Gu Na said: "You want absolute fairness, yes, 660,000 down payment is also AA, I will go to get 150,000 to make up for you, after all things at home, all AA." ”

04. The wife helplessly won the showdown to win beautifully

Gu Nasuo put everything in the family on the table to explain clearly.

Gu Na said that in the future, all housework will be shared equally, including taking children, playing with children, bathing children, coaxing children to sleep, and getting up at night to feed children, urinating, changing diapers...

You can do the same by one person, or you can take turns for a day, so why can you rest when you come back from work, and I have to bear all of it?

In the future, the family food should also be AA, I lose weight and eat vegetarian food, do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not drink tea, only eat three or two rice at most every day, why should I help you out of the portion you eat more?

Also, if your parents want to move in the future, I will also take my parents over, why pay the same money, your parents can come to live, but my parents can't come?

Zhou You was stunned after listening to it, and Gu Na continued: "If you don't change the way, you will return the money I gave me before, this house will all belong to you, I will buy a house myself, and repay the loan myself..."

Gu Na's words made Zhou You completely speechless, although he did not bow his head and accept defeat, but his attitude obviously changed.

Gu Na's showdown was still a beautiful win.

Next, she plans to showdown again and completely cancel AA life.

Now she fully understands that AA marriage is fundamentally an equivalent exchange relationship that does not talk about human feelings at all.

For women, normal marriage has many disadvantages, not to mention this completely insecure marriage model.

Of course, as Oswald Schwartz said: A happy marriage is one of the greatest happiness in life.

The ultimate meaning of marriage is for happiness.

A happy marriage requires willing giving, not AA.

Well, today is here, I hope that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Yu'er, please pay attention to me, give the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~