01
As a parent, I can't wait to give all my love to my children.
From the moment the child is born, the parents take great care of them, hoping that one day, the child will become the one who stands tall in the sky.
However, some "love" will be counterproductive and very disgusting. Feelings are like shackles, kidnapping children and children, miserable.
People over sixty, the old age life has really begun, I hope you do not become the following four kinds of old people.
02
First, the old man who desperately asks for money from a certain child makes the resentment between the children deeper and deeper.
In the TV series "Perfect Relationship", Bonnie's mother, who opposes Bonnie's going to college, does not bear any expenses. In order to study, Bonnie earned money by working and studying on his own.
My mother believes that girls should not read too many books, and should find a better family and marry off early.
Later, the mother herself admitted that she refused to allow her daughter to go to college because her son was going to high school. In addition, the mother asked her daughter for 100,000 yuan to use to give her son a cram school.
Treat your daughter as a weed and your son as gold. Such a family is not uncommon in life. What's more, the daughter's hard-earned money is given to her son to buy a house and get married. It seems that the daughter should be "sold".
Regardless of whether the parents prefer sons to daughters or preference for sons over men, there will be signs of "special eccentricity". Cause resentment among children. Children who receive money will take it for granted and have no feeling of gratitude; children who are squeezed by their parents will think that they are not members of this big family and will have feelings of resistance.
Over time, the feelings of brothers and sisters disappeared, and contradictions followed.
03
Second, the elderly who are sick but still dislike their children and are not well cared for, so that their children have no way to fulfill their filial piety.
Aunt Zhang, who lives in the same neighborhood as me, fell down last winter and has been able to travel in a wheelchair ever since.
Aunt Zhang's body slowly grew older, but her temper slowly grew. The son pushed her out to bask in the sun, she scolded all the way over, disgusted that the wheelchair his son bought was too bulky, some bumpy; the room was too small, there was no big balcony, could not enjoy the view...
As the saying goes, "Everyone has their own difficulties." ”
As a child, if you want to take good care of the elderly, you need to squeeze out a lot of time, it is inevitable to delay work and rest time, and even more will affect work performance and reduce income.
If parents can't understand and still make things difficult everywhere, it will be difficult for children to be human.
There is no filial piety in front of the bed for a long time. The children who can always accompany them are already very good, and no one can ask too much.
Perhaps, please a better babysitter, the elderly will be satisfied, but the family expenses, not everyone can afford.
There is a saying in the countryside: "The guest follows the master." ”
The elderly are in the children's home, in fact, as a guest, should respect the decision of the children. If you have complaints in your heart, you should also discuss them with your children more, not spill them.
04
Third, the old man who relies on the old man and sells the old man has to let his children do certain things in order to be happy.
There are some old people who like to help. He did not know much about the things of the new era, but he was accustomed to doing things with experience, and he thought that he was ahead of the times.
Children's home decoration, bought a lot of electrical equipment, parents are used to frugality, think that electrical appliances are too expensive, they take the initiative without authorization, the electrical appliances are returned; there are very expensive lamps on the wall, parents will take down, replaced by very cheap, because the model is not right, but it seems to be different.
Children looking for objects, parents are very "according to Tu Suoji", forcing children to break up with each other. After a few years, the youth of the children is gone, and the marriage is also very confused.
"When a child is old, he must separate his family", this is an ancient adage. If parents can't accept it, they still "dote" on their children, but they will mess up their children's career marriages.
Respecting the choice of the child and following the child's train of thought may not be understood by the parents, but the family relationship will be more harmonious. People-to-people interactions need to be appropriately accommodated, otherwise they will become fragmented.
In addition, there are some elderly people who do whatever they want in society, they are very immoral, they often do some unseemly things, and after their children know it, they can't hang on to their faces, and they are often pointed out by outsiders.
05
Fourth, the old man who is very keen on twilight love, let his children get along with "outsiders", which is particularly embarrassing.
How would it feel to your father or mother to pull a very young object and call you "uncle and aunt"? Maybe you will think of it for the first time that the other party must be trying to take away family property, not really in love.
If the father or mother changes one object every three to five minutes, can you accept it? The words "old and unorthodox" are very ugly, but they can also be heard and make you angry.
The author, "Li Meixuan," tells the story of a 68-year-old college professor who proposes to a 55-year-old nanny. The babysitter refused, then said "Can't cross, I'm sober."
College professors who have a house and a car, a pension of more than 10,000 yuan a month, and more than a million in cash, hope to remarry after the death of their wives. In the eyes of ordinary people, a woman will be happy when she marries him. But if you do the math carefully, after the nanny becomes a wife, the salary is gone, the property and assets have nothing to do with her, and in the end it is "a bamboo basket to hit the water empty".
People are over sixty, their children are adults, and if you want to accept a "stepmother, stepfather", you need a process. If the old man treats twilight love as a child's play, or becomes some kind of transaction, the children will not be happy when they come home.
06
There is a way that there is an old family, such as a treasure.
For elderly parents, young people are not disgusted. However, the elderly should understand that children's filial piety to their parents is conditional and an interactive process.
Talk about morality, do not say anything, be willing to communicate with children, have an account of money, try to be good to all children, respect for daughters-in-law and son-in-law, have pensions, do not overstep emotionally, and meet a series of additional conditions, so that the elderly will be respected as they deserve.
In the "Zhu Zi Family Training", it is written: "At home, we should refrain from litigation, and litigation will be the ultimate culprit." ”
The most taboo thing for a family is "quarrel". The elderly should put on a correct posture and become an example for their children, so that the discordant factors can be resolved, rather than triggering the contradictions of chickens and dogs.
If you want to live in peace in your old age, the key is to manage yourself.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.