Husband and wife from intimacy to not sharing the sky, have we ever thought that this is not the result of feelings diluted at all, but the result of hurt, resentment, hatred deposition.
The snowball rolls to a certain extent, either erupting or collapsing.
And this is often a time bomb planted by verbal attacks, time and again.
Therefore, it is not terrible for husband and wife to quarrel, even if the positions are different, each arguing on their own grounds. Afraid of disregarding the expression of words, completely turned into stimulation and attack, the more clear the other party's weaknesses and pain points, the sharper the knife stabbed at the other party, and finally hurt the feelings of the husband and wife.
When one party shows full anger, it still does not know how to keep its mouth shut, still continuously attacks the other party, and finally can only make a big move, and the resentment is written down in the heart.
We should never underestimate the power of language, just as the so-called good words are warm in three winters, and bad words hurt people in June. When the wound has scabs, the needle that pierces into the flesh always makes people faintly affect when they think about it.
Between husband and wife, those most hurtful words!
1. If you deny value.
Useless, useless, incompetent, insecure, these are all denials of a person's value, complete and complete, cold and cruel. Man can never tolerate anyone, and such humiliation of himself is bound to fight back and easily lose his mind because of it.
The dignity of those who can endure it has been shattered, and they will either stay away from you, or they will fall into the long road of self-doubt because of your denial.
Tu Lei, a famous emotional mentor, said:
"A man is the most likely to cheat when he is most frustrated, because at this time he is very confused, he needs a woman who can firmly support him and help him, this woman he loves or not does not matter, the key is that this woman can recognize his value." 」
There is also a very unintelligent woman who likes to compare very much, and often demeans her husband in comparison for being useless and worthless.
Men are becoming less and less like men, losing men's confidence and bloodiness, often because they can't get value recognition in front of their beloved women.
2. If you deny the effort.
Men have men's difficulties, women have women's suffering, it is not easy, so remember, do not always magnify your own not easy. I feel that in this world, only I am the hardest, and I feel that only I contribute the most to my family and pay the most.
Where you can't see, the partner also bears a lot, and the hard work of men and women is not comparable, never completely negate the partner's effort because you don't see it.
This will fundamentally hit the partner's enthusiasm, more and more discouraged, and then there is something, do not want to be so attentive, after all, can not get your approval.
Simply hold the attitude of breaking the jar and breaking it, directly live the most idle day, as you say, is not willing to pay again.
Like men often say to women, don't you just have children at home? Which woman didn't come this way. In the life of marriage and family, the effect of criticism and denial can only be zero, on the contrary, understanding and concern will always have many unexpected effects.
On the other hand, women should not deny the man's efforts, just because he can't earn money, he is sure that he is busy outside every day, and socializing is an excuse.
3. Question the choice.
At that moment of emotional upheaval, I completely lost my mind, and I forgot how two people came to be, just looking at each other, how they were blind and married (married) you.
What does it mean to question your original choices? Directly affirmed that the other party is the worst person in the world.
No matter who it is, it will feel sad and lost, and it will immediately think that along the way, their own efforts, their own changes, their own efforts, the result is thus denied.
Then it is easy for people to presuppose the possibility of true divorce, and when you question your original choice again and again, he (she) also presets the possibility of divorce again and again.
Fundamentally destroying the determination that we must work together is also equivalent to emotionally denying each other, which is the source of lost emotions.
It makes people feel that all along, they are self-inflicted and mean. When you have accumulated enough disappointment, maybe it is time to quietly turn around and leave.
Even if it is a joke, we must pay attention to proportions, and there is nothing worse than this kind of questioning.
4. Words that trample on dignity.
Knowing that the other party's original family is not good, but also deliberately using this to stimulate the other party, blackmail the other party, and even direct humiliation. Or directly deprive the other party of the right to decide, the right to know, and the right to economy of the family, and establish their own family prestige by trampling on the dignity of the other party.
You can argue with each other, but you can't insult each other and involve innocent parents, which are the source of hatred and intensify.
The same is true of conjugal life, you can't directly pour cold water on each other when you mention enthusiasm, when you recognize Allah moves, regardless of dignity.
Sometimes it seems like an unintentional joke, and the other party will take it seriously and leave a shadow. In particular, the direct expression of disgust and indifference, the sense of humiliation, will make people eager to find a seam to drill into, and then there will be no such enthusiasm and estrangement.
Of course, including when there are outsiders present, your ridicule of your partner will make the other party feel embarrassed and feel that you can't get off the stage.
The more angry you are, the more people have to control themselves, manage themselves, try not to speak, at this time, the words you say are often offensive and accusatory. So if you don't agree, you will quarrel, and you will fight, very likely.
Even if it is not noisy or noisy, it is easy to hurt people's hearts, remember in your heart, maybe at a certain moment, it will hit you back with this, leaving you helpless.
When angry, talk less, there is nothing wrong with this, what you want to say, what you want to vent, and wait until your emotions are stable. Maybe when your emotions are stable, you feel unnecessary and can't talk about it.
Never attack each other and hurt each other with impunity. Life partners, cooperative relationships, and figures out a warmth and concern, will only fight each other, which in itself has violated the meaning of marriage.
--END--