Text/Blue Dream
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With the development of society, women have more selectivity. They don't need to live on men as they used to, and they don't have to repeatedly wronged themselves in hopeless marriages.
That is to say, marriage is no longer a woman's destination. As long as a woman is capable, she can live the life she likes without slowly withering in marriage.
But it still needs to be admitted that divorce is a nerve-wracking thing for women. So it's best not to go this far.
And there is no effective way to find a good man.
Most people are affected by the family, so as long as you look closely at the man's original family, you can probably understand the man's personality.
A mother with high emotional intelligence has repeatedly warned women: no matter how old you are, no matter how much you want to get married, men in these families must not choose, otherwise most of them will regret it.
01 The mother-in-law is very strong
In such a family, the woman is the backbone, and the children and husbands do not have much say in daily life. Men have lived in such an environment for a long time, and their personalities are mostly cowardly, and they are proper "mother treasure men".
It's not that he doesn't like the self, but in the process of growing up, all his opportunities to express himself are cut off by his mother. In the long run, he has forgotten how to express himself, and he has not expressed his feelings, so whether it is a big thing or a small thing, his first thought is "looking for his mother". As for finding a daughter-in-law, it is no exception.
Of course, there is no shortage of "mommy boys" who really don't want to put up with their mother's strength and choose to chase themselves, especially in love. He was very fond of girls that his mother didn't like.
But this belated rebellion is basically difficult to achieve good results. Only because he was used to his mother's existence and left in a hurry, he could not help but be confused. Although he is an adult, he does not have the courage and perseverance to take responsibility, so he can only sneak home.
Just like Xie Hongzu in "Flowing Golden Years".
At the time of the big wedding, he and Zhu Suosuo did not feel frustrated because the parents of both sides did not bring it, after all, happiness is their own, not for others to see.
But soon reality gave Xie Hongzu a slap. He became a poor boy because he went against his mother's will, and from then on he could no longer pretend to be rich in front of Zhu Suosuo.
For these, Zhu Suosuo did not mind. This may have something to do with the fact that she has lived a frugal life since she was a child, this girl who came out of a poor family, all she wants is a home, the love of a man, nothing more. As for the rest, she believes that as long as the two work together, everything will be fine.
Xie Hongzu was initially very grateful to Zhu Suosuo for his understanding, but as time passed, he gradually could not bear this kind of hard life, so when his mother found him and asked him to do things according to her will, he no longer had the heart to resist.
After that, no matter how unreasonable his mother's request was, he complied with it one by one. Only because he did not have the courage to be independent. He could not refuse his mother, so he could only grievance Zhu Suosuo. In this marriage, Zhu Suosuo gave all her energy, but because of the strength of Xie Hongzu's mother, she finally entered the point of divorce with a baby.
Until now, this situation is nothing. On the one hand, modern people are relatively open and will not give too much blame to divorced women with babies; on the other hand, there are relatively more occupations available for women, as long as the mother is diligent enough, then raising children is not worrying.
But the era in which Zhu Suosuo lived was not like this. Although she had never coveted anything from the Xie family, in the eyes of everyone, she was the woman who admired vanity; although she had never done anything wrong, she would still attract the strange eyes of everyone. If her child is not rational enough, she may blame Zhu Suosuo for what happened to her.
You can imagine how painful Zhu Suosuo's life should be. And this is mostly related to her unladylike encounters. Therefore, if a woman wants to marry well, she should not provoke the man in the mother's more powerful family.
02 Delicious lazy home
Just as the so-called hard work gets rich, no matter in what era, there is no way out for a family that eats well and is lazy.
The problem is that people who eat and are lazy do not realize this, but they feel that the hard work and busy appearance of the crowd is sad, far from being happy in time.
Therefore, it is difficult for them to listen to the advice of the people, and even the pleas of their wives, and even feel impatient.
For example, Qiao Zuwang in "Children of the Qiao Family".
His wife gave birth, he was not around, and even when his sister-in-law came to invite him to the hospital, he still felt that she was troublesome, which caused him not to have fun.
The child was young, and it was precisely when he was needed, but he did not realize the heavy responsibility on his shoulders, but let his wife busy. After his wife died, he let his eldest son Qiao Yi become the busy work of the whole family.
The reason why Qiao Yicheng would use his young shoulders to support the burden that his father should bear was influenced by his mother. Qiao Zuwang's wife was a good woman, and in that poor era, she did her best to give her children a warm home.
In this way, she should have persuaded her husband to take the right path in her daily life, and perhaps more than once. And Qiao Zuwang did not hear the heart at all, he still went his own way. So life became a struggle for her.
It's very hard to be with a man who eats well and is lazy, so women have to stay away from a family that eats well and does lazy work.
03 Patriarchal families
The patriarchal trend has improved a lot in recent years, but there are still families who maintain this concept, feeling that ten capable sons are not as good as a son who has not appeared.
When a woman marries into such a family, she becomes a fertility machine, either giving birth to a child or preparing to have a child until a son is born in your belly, otherwise they will not stop.
Whether you will suffer from childbearing, whether your career will stagnate because of childbirth, and whether your life will be in danger because of having children, it is not within their consideration.
It is painful to be with a man from such a family, and a woman can only avoid falling into the mud if she stays away.
As the saying goes, women are afraid of marrying the wrong man. The person who marries is the person who wants to accompany him through his life, and how his personality directly determines whether he can live happily. However, the influence of the family of origin on men is relatively large. In this regard, women must be doubly cautious.
Especially before marriage, we must polish our eyes, do not choose a family with a very strong mother-in-law, a family that is delicious and lazy, and a family that prefers sons to daughters, otherwise there is no happiness at all.
I hope that all girls can have a pair of "golden eyes of fire", in the vast sea of people, at a glance, you can find the man who will make her happy, so that the two work together to create a happy married life.
END.