Yesterday's Internet café DNF, just sat down, someone slapped lz on the head, lz turned his head to look, the class teacher, and then the class teacher said viciously: "Let me grab you again, go, go back to school to take you."

Yesterday the Internet café DNF, just sat down, someone slapped lz on the head, lz turned his head to look, the class teacher, and then the class teacher said viciously: "Let me grab you again, go, go back to school and invite your parents." Lz: "Old... Teacher, I... I just graduated from high school. The class teacher was stunned: "Oh, forget, you play." Then he walked away, and Lz was moved to tears, it really hurt

2, the brother-in-law and his wife shopping, next to the two men kept peeking at his sister, the brother-in-law stood and asked: "What do you see?" They also unceremoniously said, "What's wrong with her?" The girlfriend looks like a XIAN woman, and still doesn't let people see it? The brother-in-law said, "Oh, it's hard!" Let's go, let's nag on the side? After the brother-in-law put his arm around them and came to the corner, he took out 5,000 yuan from his pocket: "Thank you buddy, the performance just now is very in place..."

3. After the wife gave birth, the family accompanied the wife in the ward. I excitedly said to my wife, "Great! It's a son. The wife said, "What, son preference?" I said, "No, it hurts to have a daughter and grow up being abducted by a beast." The old man sighed and said, "Yeah, it hurts!"

4. I bought a Passat with Alipay Huabei and lent it to my brother-in-law by my daughter-in-law. There was no way, I had to do the subway to go to work. There was a small couple sitting opposite me, the boy had a pair of big teeth, and the girl was quite beautiful. The girl suddenly said: "Today my sister led her boyfriend to my house for the first time, and she died ugly!" The boy said, "Is it uglier than me?" "Me and the female supervisor would think that the girl would comfort him and say, "Husband, you are not ugly" or something. After three seconds, the girl said, "It's not an ugly thing to do with you." ”

5, the little nephew does not like my boyfriend, every time the boyfriend comes he is not very welcome. Later, when asked why, he said, "My uncle is more handsome than me, so I just don't like him!" I listened to it and was happy: "Oh, you hate him if he looks more handsome than you?" "He looks so handsome and still finds such an ugly girlfriend, so when I grow up, can't I only find a uglier one?" Not happy! "Oh, this little thing can't do without a beating...!"

6, just went to the barber shop for a haircut, the boss asked me how to cut, I dashing to a sentence: "Handsome cut!" At this time, the aunt next to me who was baking oil and perming her hair looked at me and said, "Boy, look at you look like this, don't be embarrassed about the boss, it's not easy for people to make some money." ”

7, my husband is my company's assistant, we got married shortly after I resigned because of having children, my husband took my place. After the birth of my son, my husband directly returned the seat to me, and he directly took a long vacation to take care of the child. Once, when I came home from work, my husband ran up to me and said, "Honey, our son can talk!" I was particularly surprised: "I have not learned it after teaching for so long, this is not scientific, called Dad or Mom??" The husband whispered, "Rob the landlord..." Sure enough, you can't let the man take the child!!

8, when I was a child, I often fought with others, because I was too small to always fight, so I was the first to be strong, and I ran after the fight. That's why I still beat people first and often ask my parents. In order to teach me a lesson, my father stopped my pocket money, including the bus fare, so he had to run to and from school every day. After a while, the people who fought with me said, "This boy seems to be shooting harder now, and he's running faster when he hits." ”

9, wait for your long hair and waist, do not give up treatment. The holidays put home once, relatives lined up to nag. Where is your boyfriend? Labor has not yet been found. Q What are your hobbies? Love to watch the fate of each other. What are your specialties? The brain hole direction is wonderful. Friends have been married, and poor empty wallets. There are too few replies to writing articles, and the drawing skills are not high. The three elements of survival, the computer network cable mouse. I don't smirk at my phone

10, these years I have been short hair, today on a whim to take the hair into long hair! When my husband came back at night, I had already turned off the lights and slept, and he didn't turn on the lights and went straight to bed, touching the long hair on the pillow and frightening him into shouting: "Who?!" When he turned on the light and saw that it was me, he said, "**, daughter-in-law!" You make me rejoice in the air! I thought it was my sister-in-law in my bed! Me: "Roll !!!" ......

In the second year of high school, there was a female bully in the class, quite round, not only good at studying but also versatile. Once, for some reason, she had a fight with me at the same table, and the female school bully was aggressive with sharp teeth. She humiliated him from the body and appearance of the family background academic performance learning attitude and so on. The table mate was stupid, and his face was flushed with fear, and he could only say one sentence: "You are fat!" The female school bully froze for a moment, "Wow" a cry!

12, drink more than six points drunk, eat more than seven points full, lovers do not exceed eight points of love. But most people are often drunk, eat, and fall in love with shabi, ending up spitting up, growing a pile of meat, and being abandoned! Great words, not rough words.

13. Uncle Dabo won the grand prize of 1.1 million yuan and used this money to contract a big project. Today, I followed uncle to the construction site to do project acceptance. When I arrived at the place, I suddenly saw the president of the high school student building on the construction site and mud !!! Me: Why did a good student who was originally a good student with good character and excellent learning fall to this point??? Uncle: If I hadn't secretly burned your acceptance letter!!! You're just like him!!! What time, what admission letter???

14, friends please go to eat crayfish, the new shop, there are wild and domestic two kinds, each to ask for a pot. As I peeled it, I asked my friend what was the difference between domestic farming and wild farming. He said: "Domestic antibiotics grew up, wild with heavy metal precipitation pollution, depending on your endurance." ”