1, a person to the bank to withdraw 1000 yuan, when the number to 600 yuan, he put the money in his pocket. The bank clerk asked, "Why don't you finish counting?" and the man said, "Counted so much."

1, a person to the bank to withdraw 1000 yuan, when the number to 600 yuan, he put the money in his pocket. The bank clerk asked, "Why don't you finish counting?" and the man said, "After counting so much, there should be no mistakes in the back!" ”。。。。。

2, a pair of lovers broke up for many years, became strangers, a few years later in a classmate party at the girl mobile phone does not know where to lose, the boy skillfully pressed her phone number to dial, and the girl's mobile phone caller ID can clearly see the two words "husband", the girl picked up the phone: Hey, husband, I party it. Will go back in a minute. The boy's phone rang: Sorry, but the number you dialed was a blank number.

3. A few days ago, I asked the goddess who I had a crush on for a long time to come out to dinner, and when I arrived, I and some wine. Then I confessed to the goddess through wine that I would like to be my girlfriend? The goddess didn't even think about it, and shook her head resolutely. Finally I sadly picked up my coat and left, who knows if I took a few steps, the goddess shouted in the back: "Love - you." Excited, I quickly ran back to the table and looked at the goddess expectantly, but the goddess said quietly, "Oh, you, you haven't paid for your meal yet..."

4, the family child just after kindergarten school, I heard his parents crackled and beat up, I went to ask what's going on... His mother said: This bear child, the kindergarten teacher said, now the whole class of girls are around him, he hides the girls' things, and then pretends to be half XIAN to look at the hand to find things... I went, and if I had half his wit, I wouldn't be single now!

5, I am the fattest boy in our family, so I have not found a girlfriend now. In order to get me to find a girlfriend, my mom really fought and lost weight with me. Today I saw a big chicken leg on the table, which was taken away by my mother when I was about to eat it. I held a grudge in my heart and encouraged my family's golden retriever to pull thin on her yoga mat!! When the mother found out, she was angry and yelled: "Dog stuff!! She was just about to do it, and her father hurriedly advised: Wife, beat the dog and look at the master!! Then my mother looked at me, turned to the golden retriever and said: Do you dare to have an opinion?? The Golden Retriever shook his head in fright!! So my mother beat me up.

6, my father-in-law came to borrow 50,000 yuan from me, he said: "I am too lazy to write an IOU, take a video to prove it!" "He put the phone next to him and started shooting, I took 50,000 pieces from my wallet, counted them and handed them to him, he took it and put it in his handbag. Then he left, and I thought it was not right, and called him: "You sent me the video!" Then my father-in-law sent it over, upside down, and in the video he took 50,000 out of his handbag and handed it to me, I took it and counted it, put it in my wallet.

7. This evening, I took my son out to dinner and happened to run into a female colleague. Me: Son, this is your father's colleague, call Aunt Lee. Son: Hello sister, sister, you are so beautiful. Female colleague: The mouth is really sweet, wait for you to buy you candy to eat. Son: You women are all liars, you have not kissed me, how do you know that my mouth is sweet? So, the female colleague really kissed him, this little bunny cub...

8, it's Valentine's Day again, I'm about to turn thirty, and I still don't have a girlfriend. Today, through my aunt's introduction, I went to my aunt's house early in the morning for a blind date. I saw that the girl was pretty, and then the family went out for a while and let's talk alone. After the others left, the girl said to me: I have a boyfriend, the family forced no way to come, wait a moment you will say you don't want to. After listening to it, I understood in my heart that I was also an adult beauty. When both families came back, I said: I didn't like it. As soon as the words stopped, my mother's mouth twitched, and I was confused. Hey, good people can't be.

9. The wife went upstairs together, and the whole corridor smelled of Chinese medicine. The wife stared at the man's feet. Male explanation: It's really not the smell of my feet, but my daughter-in-law is still staring! So I took off my shoes, and my wife covered her mouth and said, "Oh! Now the smell of Chinese medicine can't smell it! It's all your feet stink! It happened that at this time, hou followed an old woman, saw the man and went down again, and said: I thought that the taste on the top was passed on from the bottom, and the taste on the top was even greater for half a day!?

10. In order to facilitate contact, Grandpa built a family group, and usually there are things to say in the group. Grandpa began to send a large red envelope to celebrate the birth of the family group. I got lucky and grabbed a big one, and I snorted at my dad. Dad looked at me with contempt and said: What do you have to be proud of, you look at your uncle's family, a family grabs 6 copies, you look at our family, you can only grab 3 copies, you can have more people.

11. In the third year of high school, students are consulting teachers to see which school is more suitable for them. Although my learning in the class is relatively backward, in the school belongs to the category of scum, but I still plucked up enough courage to ask the teacher, the teacher is really responsible, after repeated thinking, gave me a more pertinent opinion: what are you good at? With that, you go to kebabs, and going to school will definitely affect your future. "

12. When I left work in the afternoon, I found a wallet on the way home, which contained hundreds of dollars and documents. The most important thing is that there is a piece of paper that says: I often drop things, the money in my wallet is given to you, just return the documents to me. The mobile phone number is clearly written on it, and I will call it when I get to this one. Only to hear a sentence from the other party: I also just picked up this mobile phone.

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