A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed

A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, why do you always get divorced?" She sighed and replied, "Because of domestic violence." After listening to it, I said very sympathetically: "You are really unlucky, how can you always encounter this kind of scum." The flight attendant said with some embarrassment: "I am angry and start to beat people." ”

2, the night before work, I walked in the alley that I had to pass to get home. I was walking when I suddenly heard someone upstairs calling out to me: "Your Majesty, Your Majesty!" I looked up and said, "What, who called me?" "Then I was splashed with water. The woman who splashed water upstairs said, "I told you to avoid it earlier, and you still looked up, and you should have been drenched in water." ”

3, the husband's favorite female anchor is going to have her 18th birthday, in order to give her a surprise, the husband immediately flew to her city. The female anchor was particularly touched and said to the husband: Thank you for accompanying my birthday! Man: That's a must, and it's so beautiful to see you just turn off the lights and blow out the candles, and it reminds me of a movie I loved. The female anchor said happily: What movie? Old Man: Blowing Lights! Female anchor: ...

4, my wife died in childbirth a few days ago, I was particularly sad, and I went to the bar alone at night to drink alcohol. Around two o'clock in the morning, I came out of the bar and happened to meet a beautiful woman who lived in the same neighborhood at the door, and she had just come out of the bar. I politely stepped forward to talk: Beauty, are you ready to go home? Now that it's such a night, it's hard to take a taxi, and it's not safe for you to be alone on the road, or I'll send you! Beauty stared at me with disdain: You want to rub my car home and you just say it!

5, the girlfriend just married a local tycoon, the local tycoon unfortunately suffered from a terminal illness, less than half a month before the death. After I knew it, I sighed and asked my husband: "Can you accompany me for the rest of your life?" The husband said, "Yes." I asked, "What if I die?" I'm dead and you can't find another one. The husband said, "By what?" You're dead." I said, "Then I'm gone, you probably don't have any nostalgia, pack up and come to me." The husband played with the mobile phone and said triumphantly: "No, my life has just begun!" ”

6, work at Foxconn, this day paid a salary, and brothers to eat seafood dinner. While eating, I heard a little girl at the table next to me say, "Mom, crayfish can't go home, will its mother be in a hurry?" Her mother's shrimp-eating hand was suddenly stunned, and I also let go of my hand peeling shrimp. In the face of such a kind girl, how can I get my hands on it. At this time, the boss came over and said, "No, the whole family of crayfish is here!" Then the little girl happily ate a plate of crayfish.

7. My father-in-law suffered from depression after the ligature surgery and jumped off a building to kill himself. The mother-in-law did not care about the world's vision and remarried to a man 30 years younger than herself. Not long after the marriage, the mother-in-law gave birth to a boy. The brother-in-law is doted on, is particularly picky eaters, and never eats the offal of animals. In order not to let him develop the bad habit of picky eating, the mother-in-law coaxed him to say: Baby, eating pork liver will make his eyes bright! At night, the eyes can glow and you can see the long way! After the brother-in-law listened, he was very surnamed Fen and ate a lot! When I went out for a walk after eating in the evening, my brother-in-law said to my mother-in-law: Mom, my eyes can glow, I want to use you as a flashlight...

8. After the untimely death of the brother-in-law who moved bricks at the construction site, the sister lived alone with her little nephew. As soon as I have time, I will visit my sister and little nephew. Recently my little nephew is about to have a birthday, and I am ready to buy him a seatable electric toy car. He told me: Auntie, can you buy me a double seat? I quipped to him: Why? Do you have a girlfriend? Double seating required. He said seriously: "Not now, there will definitely be when I have a car!"

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #