All troubles come from relationships. The so-called freedom is to be hated by others. Freud, Jung, Alfred Adler (Austrian psychiatrist, modern

All troubles come from relationships.

The so-called freedom is to be hated by others.

Freud, Jung, Alfred Adler (Austrian psychiatrist and father of modern self psychology) are known as the three giants of psychology.

If inferiority is the inevitable result of human interaction with the world, then courage is the inevitable ability of people in the pursuit of meaning in life. It is hidden somewhere in every living organism, looking forward to special opportunities.

Cognitive Genre: It doesn't matter what happens, it doesn't matter how we look at them.

Life gives us all kinds of constraints, which on the surface seem to be time, money, relationships, but in reality, these constraints are spiritual.

The first bondage Adler wants to help us break free comes from the past. Beginning with Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, many psychologists believe that people are the product of the past, especially childhood experiences. These experiences become subconscious and determine our lives. But Adler said that what matters is not the past, but how you look at the past, and our view of the past can be changed.

The ideal relationship would be "I love you, but it has nothing to do with you". He believes that each person's subject is separate and unique. How I love you, this is my subject, and whether you want to accept my love or not, this is your subject. Everyone keeps their duty and lives their own life, and there are not so many entanglements and troubles between people.

Now is the only thing we have truly experienced and possessed.

When you're in a hurry to the future, it means you don't like the present anymore.

We've always been very free, and it's us who really hold us back.

The temperature of well water is constant, around 18 degrees all year round.

He tends to care too much about the gaze of others, and he is unable to sincerely wish the happiness of others, so he often falls into the painful situation of self-loathing.

Adler pioneered "individual psychology."

If we keep relying on causality, we will never stop moving forward.

Adler psychology explicitly denies psychological trauma.

What determines us is not our past experiences, but the meaning we give to them.

Create anger for the sake of being angry.

The so-called anger is actually just a "means" that can be put away and collected.

If you become a believer in causalism, you will never be able to attain happiness under the bondage of the past.

The first step to change is understanding.

The answer should not be obtained from others, but should be found out by yourself.

Knowledge is only accumulated as knowledge and will soon lose its usefulness.

Faced with the question of whether you like yourself or not, there are almost no people who can answer "like" frankly.

If you can't feel happy, you can't "keep doing this."

What matters is not what is given, but how to use what is given.

We are not a machine that can be replaced, what we need is not a replacement but an update.

The reason why you are unfortunate now is precisely because you have chosen "misfortune" yourself.

In Greek, the word "good" does not contain a moral connotation, but only a meaning of "good"; on the other hand, the word "evil" also has the meaning of "no good".

People often make up their minds to "not change".

The term "lifestyle" is used in Adler psychology to describe character or disposition.

How someone sees the "world" and how they see "themselves", the concept of bringing together these "ways of giving meaning" can be understood as a way of life. In a narrow sense, it can be understood as character; broadly speaking, the word even encompasses someone's worldview or outlook on life.

The word personality may have the feeling of being "immutable," but if it's a worldview, it's possible to change.

If the way of life is not innately given, but is the result of one's own choices, then it is up to oneself to make a new choice.

The reason why you can't change is because you have made up your mind not to change.

Although it is somewhat inconvenient and unfree, you still feel that the current lifestyle is better, probably because you think it is easier to keep making changes like this.

If you keep the "current me", you can speculate on how to deal with the immediate events and how they will turn out. It can be described as a state of light traffic. Even if you encounter a situation, you can find a way to deal with the past.

On the other hand, if you choose a new way of life, you will not know what problems your new self will encounter or how to deal with what is in front of you. The future is difficult to predict, life will be full of uneasiness, and there may be more painful and unfortunate life waiting for you. That is to say, even if people have various grievances, they still think that it is easier and more reassuring to maintain the status quo.

Adler psychology is the psychology of courage.

The reason why you are unhappy is not because of the past or the environment, nor is it because of lack of ability, you are just a lack of "courage", it can be said that you lack "courage to achieve happiness." ”

It is necessary to have the determination to "abandon the way of life now".

Living in assumptions like "what if" cannot be changed at all.

In fact, he wanted to preserve the possibility of "I can do it if I did" by not playing.

Adler's teleology says, "Whatever happened in previous lives has no impact on how you live your life in the future."

Youth: The first thing to say is my personality - I have no self-confidence in myself, pessimism about everything; too stubborn; I pay a lot of attention to other people's opinions, and I always live in doubt about others; I can't live naturally, I always feel like I'm acting.

Candidates will think that "if you pass the exam, life will be bright", and company employees will think that "if you can change careers, everything will go smoothly". However, in many cases, even if those wishes are fulfilled, things will not change much.

It is simply impossible not to get hurt in relationships. As long as you are involved in relationships, you will be hurt more or less, and you will hurt others.

The feeling of inferiority that plagues us is not an "objective fact" but a "subjective explanation."

- "The Courage to Be Hated"