It turns out that there is a screen brushing explosive article called "Child, I would rather owe you a happy teenager than see your humble adulthood", the reason why this article can brush the screen, it is also written out of the beautiful expectations of countless parents:
"If you are no longer humble in adulthood, but become a successful person, rich and famous, then it is not a problem to sacrifice happiness in childhood." 」
What we should be more wary of is that when he was a child, he has lost the ability to perceive happiness, and when he becomes an adult, no matter how successful he is, he is still a painful adult.
As parents, we want to give our children all the good education, but often overlook one thing – teach them how to be happy.
We always feel that "this is for the good of the child" and feel that "eating bitterly, being a good person", but we don't notice that the child's young little face has lost a lot of smiles - your child, happy? Happy?
In the homework class, the teacher asked the children to write "My Paradise", highlighting the "fun" and "happiness" that this paradise brings to the children. This is not bad for many children.
In order to "provide" a little idea for the children, the teacher made a clever move: "If you are about to take a holiday, where do you most want to go?" ”
Some of the children whispered, "Play games." ”
The other part looked confused and silent.
One of the children said, "Teacher, there is nothing that makes me happy." ”
The teacher continued to guide: "Don't you have a place in your home that makes you feel happy?"
For example: in your bedroom, you can close the door and listen to music, read a book, and be in a daze; your kitchen, are you expecting your mother to make you food?
Your good friends, play peek-a-boo with them.
Somewhere near your house, a grove of trees, a stream, where you used to play, where you were happy. ”
The child still shook his head calmly: "No fun. ”
Teacher: "What about schools?" Our school's playground, where you run and play between classes, is it very happy? ”
The child still shook his head.
What the teacher is trying to remind the child of: "What about the classroom? The teacher praised you in a certain class, you have a special sense of accomplishment, and there must be such a moment. ”
The child shook his head.
"So what do you want to do?"
The child suddenly cried: "I like to be in the classroom, sitting there quietly in a daze." ”
This child was very sincere, and told the teacher what he thought, which also represented the thoughts of some children.
Many parents have such a feeling: children will watch TV every day, play games, classmates invite to go out together do not want to go, arrange travel do not want to go, communicate with children, do not respond well, but also said that doing anything is not interesting, what is wrong with the child? How can it feel uninteresting?
If the child is only unhappy for a short period of time, this is normal, because life is full of all kinds of joys and sorrows, and we must allow unhappiness to appear, which is also our important life experience.
What parents need to pay attention to is that the child's long-term unhappiness, the child's long-term unhappiness, will make the child's life and learning no longer meaningful, will easily give up their studies, and even give up their own lives.
This requires the attention of parents.
What is the reason why children are unhappy?
1
Children have more experiences of frustration,
Children always experience failure in doing things
After the child is born, he is full of interest and enthusiasm for the world, and he is willing to try all activities. However, because of the lack of personal ability, or other reasons, parents, teachers, and classmates will have more or less negative evaluations of themselves.
"How can you be so stupid!"
"How many times have I said it, why don't you change it?"
"Why are you so lazy?"
"You still want to be the team leader, you can't even manage yourself!"
And so on, will make children afraid of seeking new things, but also do not feel happy in learning life.
For example, poor academic performance, children rarely or even do not experience the joy of success, it is indeed difficult to be happy.
If so, parents and teachers should be closely linked, give the child more opportunities to perform, and let him be encouraged.
In class, give the child some opportunities to answer questions, and if he does not raise his hand to ask for answers, the teacher will ask him by name, starting with simple questions that he can easily answer well.
Give him a sense of accomplishment and attention.
At home, parents should also create more opportunities for him to perform, encourage him to try, praise him more, let him get the attention of friends and relatives and neighbors, and use more positive language, such as:
"I think you're getting more sensible"
"I'm seeing you're getting smarter!"
Children who are fully affirmed and praised will be filled with happy joy in their hearts. Successful experiences and self-affirmations will make children feel that "I can do it", which will produce the joy of action.
2
Parents do not accept their children
Maybe the child is doing a good job, but he does not meet the expectations of the parents, the parents are not satisfied, they do not accept the child's current situation, and the child feels that it is far from satisfying the parents, and he becomes unhappy.
Some time ago, I saw a video:
A child playing the violin, playing Ridingge's Concerto in B minor. When the little girl played, the audience next to her was shaking her head and reveling in the beautiful music, while the little girl had a serious expression throughout the whole process, without pleasant affection.
Benjamin Sander, the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, also saw her unhappiness, and after the performance, he said: "Child, let's jump happily together." But the child's expression is still serious.
At the end, the master saw his mother in the audience, and he said, I want to talk to my mother for a few words.
He asked the girl's mother: Do you think the child is beautiful?
The girl's mother said: No, I don't think she's pretty.
The master asked again: Do you think the child pulls well? The girl's mother shook her head again.
The master said, "I want to tell you something that really matters, and that's the most important thing I can tell you [compared to music].
Your worries are spreading through her. If I were you, I would say it was the most beautiful kid in the world and she did a great job. I was with her and had nothing but happiness.
If you're so anxious, then she'll grow up to be an anxious person instead of a happy one. Your job is to make her bounce around happily all the time. ”
The words of the master are the true "mental method".
Please give your child a truly happy childhood, a truly happy life!
Edit | Chen Yuanlong
Image | Chai Haohong
Check the | Dawn moon
Some of the pictures | Sourced from the web