The table mates in the second year of high school were my iron brothers, and we were both in the same way, with the same disease, and we were all poor students. On this day, in class, we both had a small errand, and the math teacher told the same table to get up to answer the questions, and the same table bowed their heads and did not speak. The teacher said with disdain: In the future, your child encounters problems that he does not understand, let you teach him, you will not, what do you do? After saying that, I was turning back, and I replied: Ask your mother to go, don't bother me! The audience was stunned, and then the applause was thunderous and enduring.
2. Teacher Zhang's question is modeled on the sentence pattern of "the kung fu of a bag of cigarettes", and writes a sentence describing the rapid passage of time. Bob: The kung fu of a language class. Teacher Zhang said with a smile: Not bad. It seems that Xiaoming quite likes language classes. Please recreate a sentence that describes the slow passage of time. Xiaoming: A lesson in Mr. Zhang's Chinese class. Teacher Zhang: You're out of class, let's roll!
3, one day, Mommy asked her son, "Do you know how many words are in the alphabet?" The son said, "I don't know! Mommy got angry and said loudly, "How many years have you been in elementary school?" When you learn English every day, don't you know how many words are in the word list? The son looked at Mommy and said, "Mommy, you go to the market every day, why don't you know how many vegetables there are in the market every day?" ”
4, when I was chased by a beautiful woman in college, can the brothers know how strange the reason is? After they were together, she told me that all the boys saw her laughing and hehehe, only I ignored her, and the cold words (we have a fixed class in college) aroused her winning mentality... In fact, at that time, the mentality of the buddies was like this: beautiful women are not what I can consume, and it is better to pretend to be high...
5, quarrel with my boyfriend, suddenly, he picked me up and said: If you don't apologize, I won't let you down! I said, then you'll always hold it... After three minutes, the boyfriend was exhausted and said to himself: Even if you apologize this time, I forgive you. Then he put me down. Still gasping for breath, hahaha
6. During the New Year, my daughter-in-law abused me again. I wanted to call my mother-in-law to greet the second elder, and then make a small report by the way! The daughter-in-law was preparing dumplings with noodles, and she said to herself with a piece of dough in her hand: Think about it and say, pinch the circle and flatten it, I have the final say! I shivered coldly, frightening me to crouch in the corner and continue to think about it!
7, I can't sleep at night, I just lie on the window to read funny paragraphs, see an interesting one, I will share it with the two roommates who beat the king. They watched me intently finish reading, without saying a word. After three seconds of silence, I suddenly lay down and fell asleep, deliberately snoring, sad, not cooperating at all! Roommate: "I don't understand what he's saying!" Another: "Me too, maybe a dream, leave him alone, go ahead, the group is over!" ”
8, one morning I took the bus, the weather is a little cold, I have a cold, standing next to a person, he is catching up on sleep. I suddenly sneezed and hit him in the face. He rubbed his eyes and said to himself how it was raining, and I turned my head in embarrassment and left.
9, yesterday, I taught my father to play mobile phone, I sent him a red packet, and then my father sent a voice saying: "Girl, why can't this red packet be opened?" Then I replied to him with a voice: "Dad, you can click on the red box and you can take it." Then my father sent another voice: "Still can't do it, or you can send another try, I'll see if I can order it?" "Then I sent him another red packet, and when I sent it back to look at it, both of the red packets were received. This full of routines is worthy of my father's personality.
10, when I was a child indulged in Internet cafes and game halls, once there was no money, I lied to my dad that the school began to learn foreign languages, to pay money, just played like this for half a month, one day my dad suddenly asked me how to say in English in the morning, at that time I was blinded, the heart said I know ah, fortunately remembered the lines in the king of fighters, just tell him that it is Haoyougen. The next day, my dad greeted everyone and said with a smile and a groan: Howe root... That was my first hospital stay.
1 The old man worked as a contractor foreman all his life, and after retirement, he returned to his hometown to contract 100 acres of land to prepare for planting vegetables. On that day, a rich second generation driving a Lamborghini and a friend came on an outing, and accidentally stepped on several corn seedlings. The old man saw the pain and said, "Young man, you have stepped on the seedlings." After hearing this, Fu ErDai said with a disdainful face: "No culture is really terrible, this is called stepping on the green!" The old man didn't say a word, got up and flew up and kicked him into the river: "I'm still riding the waves!" ”
12, yesterday with a second goods friend to the museum, is looking at the old ancestor left by the pots and pans, just listen to a bang, the two goods friends broke a porcelain tour guide exclaimed that it is 500 years ago jade ah! Only to see the second goods friend said lightly: "That's good, scared Lao Tzu, I thought it was new!" ”
13, there is a female driver in my community who often drives a new off-road vehicle, and scratches with a van in the community, and the van driver sees that it is a female driver, and he wants to blackmail her, saying that he has given eight hundred yuan privately. The female driver Yu waved her hand: No, drive the car to the seongnam repair shop to report the name of the sister, repair! The sister's account is dedicated to dealing with this kind of accident, and does not care about you more than a broken van.
14, fifteen years old and classmates party! On the way back met the neighbor Uncle Wang! Uncle Wang looked at me walking backwards and forwards and said: Drunk, I nodded my head Uncle Wang smiled: Corn stalks can dissolve wine! Then point to the corn tunnel: go find a sweet corn stalk to solve the bar
![Take the instant noodles apart layer by layer, and the white noodles of several months - the landlords can't do it. Plenty of grease (no matter what oil) – has exceeded the imagination of the landlord. All kinds of fine[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)