The wife is on a business trip, I want to ask the brothers to go out to play cards, who knows the old man suddenly came to visit, let me accompany him to drink two drinks, so, I first greeted him, he drank a lot of ah, cup after cup,

The wife is on a business trip, I want to ask the brothers to go out to play cards, who knows the old man suddenly came to visit, let me accompany him to drink two drinks, so, I greeted him first, he drank a lot, cup after cup, after a while I was on the head, very uncomfortable lying on the table, and then in the haze heard him voice, daughter, the task is completed, I went home first.

2. Dialogue between two college students. A: What are the main things we talk about in our freshman year? B: Mainly talked about integrals: definite integrals, indefinite integrals, double integrals, triple integrals, secondary integrals, cumulative integrals, first type curve integrals, second type curve integrals, first type of curved area fractions, and second type of curved area fractions. A: What are the points? second:......

3, immediately left the school into the society, recall the scene of arguing with the teacher in high school, now think about how naïve, how old are you still arguing with the teacher? My roommate answered: That is, all the old people are still arguing with us? I was suddenly enlightened!

4, one day when eating, Dad used chopsticks to clip the dish, and read with great interest: The body is slender, the brothers are in pairs, they will only eat vegetables, they will not drink soup. Then he looked at his son expectantly and said, "Hit a tableware, and his son looks confused." Dad repeated: Hit a tableware!!?? The son looked at the table and threw his bowl on the ground in embarrassment.

5, after the daughter's summer vacation, I and my wife and I basically gave my daughter this grinding little goblin, today I rested, my wife asked: If there are two women, one older, the other younger, which one will you choose to take out to play? Me: I'll be honest you don't want to be angry, I'll take the younger ones! Wife: Then tomorrow you take your daughter out to play, I will go shopping tomorrow!

6, my girlfriend took me to skate, I said no. The girlfriend said: It's okay, I learned it after falling a few more times. Put on your skates and slide forward carefully, without turning. I slammed it out with a whimper. There was a round of applause around, and when I looked back, the buddy in the middle was like a top, whizzing around in the same place. I thought to myself, when will I get to this point. As soon as the buddy stopped, he shouted: Who just hit me? Fainted me! I held the pillar in a daze and did not dare to speak.

7, the female boss called me to the office, said that she rested the day, specially approved me to rest for a day. She also said: I am looking at the benefits that you usually work very hard to give you this time. As soon as I heard the landlady praising me, I must have worked harder and worked harder. I solemnly refused to rest, but I didn't expect her to look unhappy.

8, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rushed to buy vegetables, heard a vendor shouting and selling, saying that the cabbage they sold was grown by their own family, cheap and delicious. So the mother-in-law wanted to buy a little, but she was still not at ease, so she picked vegetables while asking: "Are you really growing your own cabbage?" If I hadn't planted it myself, I'd have smashed your stall for you. The peddler hurriedly said, "Absolutely self-grown, old lady, you can rest assured, if it were not for my own planting, I would be your son." The mother-in-law did not speak, and the daughter-in-law next to her did not do it: "Big brother, what do you want?" Take advantage of the curve and take a turn? ”

9, my wife was pregnant when she met, she also hid from me, I said I don't mind, we got married. Later, when my daughter fell ill, I found that my daughter's blood type was the same as mine when I was tested, and I did further DNA testing. It turned out amazingly: she was my biological child! I was dumbfounded! Let me think.

10, some time ago bird flu! I went to the customer's house to send information, take the elevator, there are more people, I called my mother: Mom, I just came back from the chicken farm, and I have a fever, you go to get me some fever reducer, I will go home in a moment! Just after the phone call, I was left alone in the elevator, and the last aunt who got off the elevator looked at me in horror, and hit the wall of the elevator entrance without knowing the pain....

1 The other day I was looking in the mirror and looking at myself and feeling so beautiful, I couldn't help but say to my mom: Mom, you see how beautiful I am. Then my mother came and said, "I really don't understand, you said that you are beautiful and beautiful one day, where are you beautiful." "I, I, I really don't know how to respond to her anymore.

12, the day before yesterday with a friend, he has not had a girlfriend, I asked him why. He said in a deep voice, my love died as early as kindergarten! Then he lit a cigarette, I liked girls at the time, and one day I bought a couple of sugar cubes! She came to me as if she wanted to eat it, and I said I'll give you one, and you'll let me kiss you, and she said yes! So I gave her one, but she ran away, and I didn't believe in love anymore!

13, if you are in a difficult situation, don't worry, it will get better. If you're proud of the spring breeze, you don't have to show off, it will change. Lost love, like an hourglass, and tears and heartache are the trickle of sand, and every time the thoughts are flipped, it will cause a breach of the embankment - you will involuntarily go to the old place of the date, looking for a familiar figure; a similar back on the street will make you shudder.

14. When I was in college, the girl I had been interested in for a long time asked to take on the task of washing the window sheets for me. I was overjoyed, but ashamed to see my own window slip. So I resolutely went home and took a few clean window sheets, and thinking that it was too clean and unreal, I went to the cao field bunker and made a box of sand and rubbed it. A few days later the girl secretly said to me, "Do you have kidney stones?" I washed out 5 kg of sand when I washed your window sheet! ”