1, a driver big brother is smart! Forget to bring a driver's license, the idea is not good to meet the traffic police! Suddenly the driver's big brother is in a hurry! Without waiting for the traffic police to let him stop, he slowly drove to the front of the traffic police

1, a driver big brother is smart! Forget to bring a driver's license, the idea is not good to meet the traffic police! Suddenly the driver's big brother is in a hurry! Without waiting for the traffic police to let him stop, he slowly drove to the traffic police, nodded his head and said, "I left first!" Go home for dinner in the evening! When the time comes, I'll be calling you!" The two traffic policemen were stunned and laughed! After watching the driver's big brother drive away! A traffic policeman asked another traffic policeman: "What kind of relative are you?" Another traffic cop said, "Isn't that your relative?" ”?

2. When I was in my third year of high school, the teacher trained people in the classroom because the students did very poorly. The teacher said: Dear students, if you think you are stupid, please stand up. The students looked at each other, but they did not dare to stand up, only one bravely stood up, teacher: This classmate, do you think you are stupid? Student: No, teacher, I just don't want you to stand alone!

3. After an afternoon of queuing, I finally finished the divorce procedures today! Looking at the divorce papers, I said to my ex-wife: There is a suitable one in the future, introduce it to me. She asked: What are the requirements? I thought about it and said: My house is given to you, and the other party has a house! Her: With children, consider not? I nodded: Yes, I like kids. My ex-wife looked at me: There is a ready-made one, I will meet it!

4, the sister-in-law went to work at a financial company after graduating from college, and it was very cold that day, and she dated a rich second generation. The sister-in-law deliberately did not wear a coat, hoping to give the rich second generation a chance to perform. Halfway through their date, my sister-in-law said, "It's so cold today!" I forgot to wear a coat. Fu Er Dai replied: "It's okay, it's okay, fortunately I remember to wear it, otherwise it would really be like you, you see you freeze that stupid look." ”?

5. When I was in school at Tsinghua University, I had a crush on a senior. I confessed to him countless times in the four years of college, but they were rejected. On the day of graduation, I confessed to him again, and he said: Really not, we can't be together. I asked: Why, exactly? I love you so much! He replied: Because we are close relatives! I was surprised and said: What? Are you my brother? He replied: No, we are all descendants of the dragon!?

6, my wife is a road sand hand, there are often some bumps, but recently there was a big car accident. My wife hit a Bugatti in a Porsche. Probably the throttle was used as a brake, until it hit the Rolls-Royce on the side of the road before stopping. At this time, the Rolls-Royce driver came down and asked: Big sister, do we have a vendetta? The eldest sister said in a particular panic: No! I forgot to brake when I was nervous! The driver said leisurely: I thought you were going to kill me!"

7, a girlfriend the day before yesterday. Asked her to go shopping today, she took her brother, we went shopping together, the girlfriend said to go to the toilet, and then went. Me: Little devil, give, lollipop, very sweet. Brother: Thank you brother! Me: Wouldn't it be nice to ask you a few questions, what is your sister's favorite thing? Younger brother: cucumber, eggplant, yam, lotus! Lying down, I left before she came out!

8, I have a guy, there are more than a dozen ponds of different sizes at home, and the small life is very moist, but the brain is not good. On summer nights, the toads in the pond screamed, making him unable to sleep. In a fit of rage, he sold Chi Huan to someone else, and he thought: Now he can sleep peacefully. Unexpectedly, as soon as it was dark, the drumming noise of the toads still did not stop. He was annoyed and angry, how could he not figure it out, and scolded: "Strange, Chi Lian has been sold to others, why does this toad still bother me??" ”

9. In the morning, I drove a vintage car to the door of the store. I saw a tramp who walked over and said, "Help me look at the car, I'll go buy something." The tramp looked at it and agreed. After a while, I walked out of the store and handed the tramp 5 bucks. Who knew that the tramp pointed to the money and said 400. I said angrily: 4 minutes to the money, you go to grab it! The tramp said quietly: It is not a matter of time, it is my face, and others think that this broken car is mine!

10. There was a big news in the city, and a gangster escaped from prison, but was arrested by the police. The reporter interviewed the daring fugitive and asked: Why did you escape from prison? The man said indignantly: The prison meal is really bad! The reporter asked him again: Then what tools did you use to pry open the iron door of the prison? The man threw out a stick, fell to the ground and clanged, and he pointed and said: "Morning long bread."

11. A year ago, I was still a school flower sought after by thousands of people in the School of Foreign Languages, and now I have degenerated into the dry daughter of a 60-year-old rich man. I saved up the 100,000 yuan that my father gave me every month, and now I have saved 6.8 million, and then Bought a house in Tomson Yipin. Yesterday, an old man next door came knocking on the door. Old Man: "Do you have dirty clothes to wash at home?" I said, "Yes, what's wrong?" The old man: "Give it to me." I said, "No, how nice to let you wash." The old man: "It's not me washing, today is not a love day, there are a lot of people, I really don't have dirty clothes to wash."

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