1. Last night at the company party, the female colleague was drunk, I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just pulled open the zipper,

1. Last night at the company party, the female colleague was drunk, and I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just as she pulled open the zipper, her mother pushed the door and saw it. I hurriedly explained, "Auntie, I...", and her mother smiled and closed the door: "It's all right, you continue!"

2. A beautiful beautiful woman was deceived into the pyramid scheme nest by her classmates, the pyramid scheme leader brainwashed her in class, the beauty was very cooperative with the serious study of the lecture, and the light of worship flashed in her eyes: I had to sincerely say, "Big brother, I worship you as a teacher, you teach me well, take me, let me learn to make money with you." As soon as the eldest brother heard that the beauty was hooked, he said to let her pay the money, and the beauty said yes, I will go home tomorrow to get the money! You must take me to the top of my life! The eldest brother heard that the beautiful woman wanted to go home to get the money, and his heart was even happier, and he continued to brainwash her: "You can ask your family to transfer money to you, so that you don't have to run around, and you can quickly seize the opportunity to get rich." The beauty said, "My father will not give me money if I don't go back, my father is a very stubborn person, he will not see me, he will not give me money." "The eldest brother is blinded by money, and he also believes in his brainwashing technology, thinking that the beauty is too simple and has been brainwashed successfully." The next morning, I asked the beautiful woman to hurry back to get the money, and the beautiful woman said grievously: "Big brother, I don't have a fare, can you borrow 600 yuan for me?" When I come back I'll pay you back a thousand dollars. "The eldest brother thought about it, anyway, the money she got back was mine, and it didn't hurt to lend her some." So the eldest brother gave the beautiful woman six hundred yuan. The female college students thanked her, thanked her again and again, and promised to return soon. A week passed, the female college student did not come back, the eldest brother waited impatiently, he picked up the mobile phone and called her and asked: "When are you coming back?" There is no chance to come back. The female college student replied: "You liar, do you really think I have been brainwashed by you?" If it wasn't for the escape, I wouldn't have bothered to act with you? I've called the police, you're waiting to be caught! ”

3. Some time ago, dad bought a sea-view villa by the sea, and recently he has been discussing a good day to move in. Today, my mother called a waste collector in her hometown and wrapped a thick stack of waste books from under the window and handed them to him. Dad saw a book from a pile of scrap books and said it couldn't be sold! Mom snatched the book from Dad's hand and found a few hundred-dollar bills from inside! In the evening Dad didn't have dinner and knelt on the washboard for 5 hours!

4. Tonight, I opened the refrigerator to find that the chocolateS I had bought the previous two days had been eaten without a trace. I called the two children with a serious face, because my girlfriend was more obedient, so I asked my girlfriend: "Big baby, can you tell me who ate it?" The son quickly said, "Dad, we really haven't eaten, we've all fed the dogs!" The girl muttered, "Hmm, brother is the worst, I'm not a dog..."

5. On the high-speed train, a little girl sat next to me, accompanied by her grandmother, who was already asleep in her seat. The little girl suddenly said to me: Brother, you are really bumpy! I smiled and said: Brother bumping is not a day or two! As I spoke, I took a lollipop out of my bag: Little girl, do you want to eat it? Little Girl: Think about it! I tore open the package, stuffed the sugar into my mouth, and said: Little girl, you are not only beautiful, but you also think beautiful! Then there was her heart-rending cry!

6. I came out of the five-star hotel holding my girlfriend's hand and drove the Maybach to take her to play, and a wolfhound on the road kept yelling and chasing my car. I increased the throttle, still couldn't shake it off, and thought: This is not normal, it won't be a dream, right?? Yes, witty I found myself dreaming in my dreams. I woke up all of a sudden, there was no dog chasing me at all, no car, no girlfriend.

7. The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitor! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue him! The roommate scornfully said: "I just passed the judicial examination this year, I didn't take the money, and I have no obligation to keep it for you!" The supervisor was silent for a moment: "What you took away is the ten thousand of our bank, and the ten thousand that remains is yours." ”

8. Colleague Xiaomei wedding today, I followed 500. As a result, Xiaomei returned me 1000. I told my late colleague Xiao Li about this. Xiao Li thought about it and gritted his teeth and sealed 5000. As a result, Xiaomei returned 2,000, saying that the upper limit of the gift was 2,000. At the wedding, Xiao Li's crying was even worse than Xiaomei's mother's family...

9. My sister-in-law had an uncomfortable stomach and asked me to accompany her to the hospital for a physical examination! Me: Brother-in-law stun needle! Sister-in-law: I just look at the outpatient clinic, where there will be injections! Me: Then I dizzy nurse! Sister-in-law: You did faint nurse, the last time you went for the infusion, a nurse gave you 10 injections before you entered! We all wondered how such an irresponsible nurse hospital could exist, and later we learned that the nurse was your ex-girlfriend's girlfriend!

10. In the evening, I was eating in the canteen with a southern classmate, and when I ate the steamed bun, he asked, do you northerners eat the steamed bun first, and then eat it on the dish, or do you eat the mouthful of vegetables first, and then eat the steamed bun? I was stunned for half a day, and after eating for more than twenty years, I almost couldn't eat steamed buns!

11. I am busy saying that we have a relative in our family named Cocoa, who is very beautiful.

The mother-in-law and the little aunt looked shocked, and the husband pulled me back to the room with a black face and asked: What do you think, introducing my uncle's daughter to my aunt's son?

12. My father saw that I was too hard to work as a courier, and I was very distressed, so he entrusted someone to send me to a large foreign company. Today, I help the boss interview the female secretary. I asked one of the prettiest girls, "What is your dream?" The girl replied, "My dream is not to go to work." I said, "Then why did you apply?" Sister: "To realize my dream." I was momentarily confused: "You wait, I'll make it up." ”