1. A woman ate noodles at Guangxi Railway Station, when checking out, found a bowl of noodles to be 1,000 yuan, so the woman did not hesitate to call the police, after the police found that this bowl of noodles is really worth 10

1. A woman ate noodles at Guangxi Railway Station, when checking out, found a bowl of noodles for 1,000 yuan, so the woman did not hesitate to call the police, after the alarm found that this bowl of noodles is really worth 1,000 yuan. It turned out that the owner had found that when a man and a woman were eating noodles, the man's look was not quite right, so he asked for 1,000 yuan a bowl of noodles, which was expensive, and the woman certainly couldn't bear to call the police. As a result, the man listened. Frightened, he immediately ran away. Because he is engaged in pyramid schemes. In this way, women will avoid being deceived by pyramid schemes.

2. One night I was drunk and took a taxi back to the public security department, the fare was 18 yuan, 50 yuan for the driver, the driver saw that I was drunk, he looked for me for 2 yuan, I was drunk and looked at the driver, the driver asked me: How much did you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, an hour later the driver cried, I thought I have time anyway, just in time to wake up in the car, the province's home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

3. Recently, the stomach has always been uncomfortable, and I went to the hospital and spent 500 yuan for a comprehensive examination. After the examination, the doctor said: Nothing, may be too tired lately, rest and rest. Come back and tell your wife happily that she is not sick at all, but her wife is not happy. The wife said: It is rare for you to have such a happy time when you have spent money in vain.

4. For the sake of the genes of the offspring, the buddies married a very beautiful and intelligent wife.

After a few years of marriage, my wife said: I have a baby, you are going to be a father, how do you want to thank me?

The buddy laughed and said, "I'll buy you a piece of jewelry, or I'll take you on a tour and choose one."

His wife was very excited: I chose jade jewelry!

5. By chance, I met my current wife. Slowly we both became acquainted, and today she asked me: Why do you order food every night and then let me deliver it to you? I said because I like you. Only to see her smile at me: childish, fortunately you like a restaurant waiter, if you like a nurse, then you have to call an ambulance every day.

6. There is a goddess in the village who is particularly powerful, and her name is widely spread and very divine. The rich man's charming wife heard about it and rushed to find the godmother with money and children. The rich man's wife said: Master, my son may be frightened, help him call the soul, right? Godmother: No problem! Having said that, the godmother casts spells... A few days later, the rich man's wife came again, and he served his wife well: Master, my son is scared again, why is it always like this? Godmother: Remove your makeup at night, don't feed your child!

7. When I was very young, I got divorced at home and lived with my father. The adults on both sides were distressed by him, buying him a lot of toys, clothes, and snacks, and the teacher also specially tutored him in his homework, which made people blush when they looked at it. Finally I couldn't help it, so I said to my parents: Or you can leave! Later, my parents insisted on giving birth to my brother despite everyone's opposition, and they said that they always felt that I was unreliable!

8. I'm in business and I travel a lot. No, tomorrow morning to travel, at home at night to pack things, found a material forgotten in the company, so rushed back to get it. When we returned to work, we saw that the door was unlocked, there was a light in the cubicle, and a strange man was looking at our computer. I glared at him and said, "Who are you?" What are you doing? Then he took a wig out of his backpack and put it on, and it turned out to be our programmer.

9. My mother-in-law is only 13 years older than me, and my father-in-law divorced and married after the demolition. Today at noon, the mother-in-law threw away the mobile phone and then went back to the bedroom. I wondered what kind of anger she was, sneaked her phone over, and saw the chat interface with her father-in-law... Mother-in-law: "Handsome man, do you want to go home for dinner at noon?" Father-in-law: "Back." Mother-in-law: "Don't eat in the canteen?" It's because I think I came back (smiley face)" Father-in-law: "You have something to think about, I want to go back and play with my little son!" ”

10. In physical education class, the two people climbed over the wall and left the school gate, and when they straddled the wall, the security guard came, and the two fell to the side of the wall in fright. Then just listen to the ooh, probably a person's feet. I heard the man on the other end of the wall shouting. "Leave me alone, go to the Internet café and grab the machine!" Ha ha!

11. Go to the buddy's house, where he is alone and drunk.

I asked, "What's wrong?" ”

Dude said, "Lost love." ”

"You two have such a good relationship, didn't you both make an appointment to meet your parents?"

"On the way to her house that day, the phone ran out of battery.

Borrow the mobile phone of the passerby uncle to call her,

As a result, my girlfriend's name was displayed on my uncle's mobile phone! ”

"And then what? Got into a fight with Uncle? ”

"I dropped my phone and beat up the man.

Who knows that just when my girlfriend came out to see it, she glared at me and pushed me,

Then he shouted at Uncle...

father!

12. Two days ago, my aunt found a blind date for my cousin, and after meeting my brother liked the other girl. I kept asking my aunt, "What does that girl think of me?" Doesn't it? The aunt said with a worried face: "Nephew, it's not that the aunt doesn't want to help you!" People girls think you're pretty good, but you guys don't fit in! The cousin said, "What's wrong with each other?" Why don't I know? The aunt said: "You walk outside the eight characters, and the girl is the inner eight characters, how do you say it fits?" ”

13. After graduating from high school, I came to the legendary Grandmaster Chef Training School, the New Oriental Chef Culinary Academy. After a year of study, I came home on a whim and wanted to show my hand. I chose the simple but most revealing of my knife skills, shredded green pepper potatoes. I took a kitchen knife and cut it very quickly, and I didn't bother to cut my finger, threw the knife away, and went to find a Band-Aid bandage. Not much later, my mother ran from the kitchen and asked me nervously: What is the cut? How much to cut off? I was touched and said: It's all right, Mom, cut off a little meat, it's good to be connected to the skin. The mother was relieved: then good, this potato shredded can be eaten with confidence!

14. My cousin and cousin quarreled: "You said how I had taken a fancy to you in the first place, and I was lazy and lazy, but I didn't let you say it." Cousin: "Then what do you do well?" Cousin: "I do everything better than you do, the wife I am looking for has a good temper, no matter how I scold, I will not return the mouth, the husband you are looking for, the fierce one will scold people all day!" "Cousin.....