Jay Chou just got three children and began to live in the water

Original | Pregnancy

Every parent of the second and third children will be forced to become a master of water.

To achieve a bowl of water flat, parents need to treat each child very carefully.

On the contrary, if you don't pay attention to it, just a word, a look, and an action may cause an earthquake between the two babies and hurt the child's heart.

On May 6, Jay Chou officially announced the birth of his third daughter, and as soon as his daughter was born, he encountered this problem.

Here's why.

On the night of the official announcement, Jay Chou announced that his wife Kunling had given birth to a third child, and posted a positive photo of the baby's face, with the text saying: Mother and daughter are both hard!

In Jay Chou's picture, there is also a photo of the father and mother holding the baby's little feet in both hands, which is this photo, which makes the eldest daughter Hathaway jealous and unhappy.

The next night, Jay Chou took the same picture with Kunling again in order to level the bowl of water and to appease his daughter.

I have to say that this way is really heartwarming and loving.

Although it is a small thing, Jay Chou's way can let Hathaway know that even if her sister is born, her parents love you the same.

After the Weibo was issued, many netizens ridiculed: Jaylen's water life began!

Some netizens also sighed: the second-child family, indeed need to pay attention to a lot, to raise the small treasure, better guard the big treasure.

Indeed, for multi-child families, managing the relationship between two children requires a lot of energy from parents.

This is also a compulsory course for every parent with many children.

"Why do you have to let your brother do everything, if only you didn't have a brother?"

In the second and third child families, in fact, there are many neglected children, and the arrival of new life will definitely distract the energy of parents.

How to communicate with the boss at this time? How to take care of the boss's emotions is very important.

Attentive parents will try to make a good trade-off, and while raising Xiaobao, they will also take care of Dabao's emotions, such as Chen Xiaochun and Ye Yiqian.

When Ying Cai'er gave birth to her second child, 6-year-old Jasper understood what jealousy is, because her brother's birth and her parents were in the hospital, which made Jasper uneasy.

When he sensed Jasper's emotions, Chen Xiaochun immediately sent comfort and promised Jasper's father that as long as he went back, he would accompany him to ride a bicycle and watch the ball, and Jasper was happy.

After Tian Liang and Ye Yiqian had a second child, they also had a headache because of the relationship between Dabao and Erbao.

For the arrival of the younger brother, the sen dish has become very sensitive, even repulsive, before not feeding, see the mother feed the brother, the sen dish also have to feed, see the brother drink milk, the sen dish also have to drink.

From the initial expectation of my brother, I slowly became repulsive, and even felt: my brother is the most "scheming" person in the world, always "framed" me, always let my parents scold me.

Ye Yiqian said: Sen Di is very friendly and kind to people all over the world, but only for his brother, sometimes you can see it in your eyes: I hate to "die" him.

When he was depressed, Sen Di would also say to his mother: If only there was no brother, so that my parents would only love me.

Sensing Sen Di's emotions, Tian Liang and Ye Yiqian will always care about Taking care of Sen Di's feelings in life, will be in front of their brother, especially good to their sisters, and will also tell their brothers: Men are to protect women.

Slowly, Sen Di also accepted his brother, and he also had a sense of superiority at home, and got along better with his brother.

When you feel that the boss has emotions, communicating with the child in time can eliminate the child's uneasy emotions, which Chen Xiaochun and Tian Liang have done, and Jasper and Sen Di are also very happy to accept their brother.

If you let this feeling of uneasiness and feeling ignored accumulate in your mind, it must lead to problems.

Pregnant mothers have seen a lot of such news, two of which are the most profound.

A 6-year-old girl in Hubei, because her mother gave birth to a second child, all her attention was on her brother, and her parents' lack of attention caused her mind to suffer a heavy blow, resulting in hysterical blindness, and her vision will reach 0.15.

A 17-year-old girl in Henan jumped into the river with her 10-year-old sister to take her own life because of her parents' long-standing favoritism and neglect.

In life, her parents asked them all the time to let my brother, which made her very desperate: why do I have to let my brother every time, everything is based on my brother, and I don't care about my feelings and my sister! Why does the sister want to let go! Let! Let!

Because of the favoritism of the parents, the two children are desperate and light-hearted, which is too painful!

I want to say to all parents who want to have a second or third child: We must not ignore the big treasure because of taking care of xiaobao, and the parents' eccentric neglect is the most harmful way to hurt the child, do not let the eccentricity hurt the child's heart!

After having the second treasure, please focus on taking care of the feelings of the big treasure!

For families with two children, because of the arrival of the second child, taking care of the baby must be wholehearted, and there will inevitably be neglect.

At this time, parents must take good care of Dabao's emotions.

At this point, Sun Li and Deng Chao handed over textbook answer sheets.

When his sister Xiaohua was not yet born, Sun Li gave the right to name to his brother and so on, he liked an animated tiger called Xiaohua, so his sister was called Xiaohua.

Sun Li also carefully prepared a gift, telling Wait that it was given to him by his sister, which made Wait's good feelings for Xiaohua immediately arise.

Even Xiaohua 100-day feast Sun Li will take into account the feelings of waiting and so on, telling him that "this is also your 33-month-old party."

And for the contradictions between brothers and sisters, Sun Li has always let the children discuss and solve the contradictions, never protecting the sister, and even telling the nanny, no matter what food he wants to eat his sister, give it to him.

With plenty of love and trust, and so on and sister's relationship becomes closer and closer, etc. Not only did not see her sister as a threat, but became her little teacher and patron saint, sticking together every day and not letting go.

Isn't this the most beautiful thing in a two-child family?

In a multi-child family, only the parents give the boss the greatest love and warmth, as long as the boss feels the slow love of the parents, this feeling will naturally pass from the boss's heart to the second child's heart, so that it will form a virtuous circle of parents loving the big treasure, the big treasure loving the small treasure.

Otherwise, it will evolve into scrambling, plundering and contradictions, which must be a disaster for multi-child families.

I know that there is a netizen's experience that makes people very distressed: I am the eldest, when I am a sister, my brother is five years younger than me, and there is a scene that I still remember vividly, although I have grown up.

Dad was very patient in teaching his brother to draw under the lamp, turning back to me and frowning coldly, maybe I was disobedient when I was a child, always resisting, my parents were always grumpy and angry at me, or beat me.

This kind of differentiated treatment, as well as the bottomless concession in life, even after 30 years, the harm of the original family makes her unable to overcome it for the rest of her life!

Parents should know that children are very sensitive, even if it is a trace of snub and differential treatment of parents, they can feel the eccentricity and neglect of parents!

The neglect of parents is deeply hurtful to Dabao!

Do you know what it feels like to ignore Dabao?

1. Affect children's self-esteem and jealousy

Parents do not care, and the arrival of the second baby of various comparisons, will hurt the child's self-esteem, this change, will make a well-behaved baby become naughty, parents' comparison will even trigger the child's jealousy, never compare the child, which not only affects the children's feelings between each other, but also affects their self-esteem and self-confidence.

2, will make the child lose direction

Parents only care about the second child, which can confuse the older baby, and the lack of attention can make them lose their goals and lead to a lack of social skills.

If the eldest baby doesn't hear appreciation or doesn't spend time with their parents, they will feel like their family doesn't expect anything from them, they feel like they're not good at anything, and they don't want others to give them any responsibility.

3. Children will become introverted or extroverted

The feeling of inferiority caused by not receiving enough attention induces children to become unfriended and introverted to extremes.

They avoid crowds and avoid socializing.

Extroverts, on the other hand, vent their frustrations.

Anger is the reaction of these children, and the smallest things will make the child very angry.

Don't think that the arrival of a second-born baby is a very common thing.

For the eldest baby, this can be a big deal.

Don't believe it, take a look at the above comments and you will know what kind of impact it will have if you ignore the psychological construction of a big baby!

Two-child and three-child families, while raising Xiaobao, we must also guard the big treasure!

If you are also ready to have a second child, feel that all aspects of the conditions are met, before starting the second and third child plans, please give Dabao enough security and love, please communicate with Dabao in advance.

This is done in two steps: before the arrival of the second baby and after the birth of the baby.

1. Communicate with Dabao in advance before the birth of the second child

Ask Dabao to help pick out the things in his brother's and sister's room.

Let Dabao pick a gift for his younger siblings, and mom and dad should also prepare a gift for Dabao.

Take more time to spend with Dabao. Let Dabao know that even with his younger siblings, his parents still love him very, very much as always.

Look at picture books. There are books written for young children about growing families, which can help children understand the changes that are taking place in the family.

Tell Dabao about the changes in the family after that. Reassure the older child that although the child needs a lot of care, there is still enough time to love him or her.

Attach importance to Dabao's position in the family, patiently tell him that you are the baby's "big brother/sister", and help the child enjoy this new role.

You can bring your older baby with you during the maternity check-up. Involve him in the process, schedule a time for them to meet as soon as possible after the baby is born, and the first greeting is important.

2. Give Dabao enough care after the birth of the second child

Image source: @Dear Little Desk

Never scold another child in front of your child.

Never compare children. Never compare children, such as brother disobedience, sister does not understand things, appreciate the child's behavior, show the child the right way to do things, do not imply who is doing better.

Don't get too involved in arguments between children. Let the child discuss the resolution of the conflict, and the parents should not take sides.

Praise the child. If Dabao gently strokes the baby, give him praise, hug and kiss him, tell him how great he is, and Mom and Dad are proud of him.

Support your child's psychological feelings. The child will be jealous, he will sometimes dislike his younger siblings because the arrival of younger siblings will disrupt his life, understand and speak out about his feelings, and tell him that it is okay so that he does not attract attention with bad things.

Special attention to the emotions of older children. Increase your love for your older children, say a few more words I love you, increase the number of hugs you every day, find time to read or play games, and if your older children have emotional problems, regularly give your child the time when they belong to them.

Let Dabao participate. Teach Dabao how to help the baby, how to play with the baby, brothers and sisters open the baby's gift, use the camera to take pictures of the baby. Teach him how to put socks on the baby and encourage him to praise him.

Make everyone special. Avoid comparing siblings, even seemingly inconsequential topics like birth weight, the time they first climbed or walked, or who had more hair! Children can interpret these comments as criticism.

Let your child understand you. When you don't have enough time to accompany Dabao, be sure to explain to Dabao why this happened, communicate with him, and understand his fears. You want him to know that you can't always be with him for some reason.

The arrival of the second child, each family needs to adapt to the time, in which, the boss's psychology needs more attention, focus on handling this matter, so that the baby can peacefully adapt to the new family model.

Let the eldest accept the second child from the heart before the birth of the second child, and after the birth of the second child, balance the care and love for the two children, which is the right love of the parents for the two children!

I hope that every baby can grow up in the care of mom and dad!

Reference articles

https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/big-sibling-blues/

"Young Pi", "Zhihu", "Dear Little Desk" @ Ye Yiqian @ Chen Xiaochun @ Look at the news @ Beijing News