1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning looking at my phone and there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife

1, at night, invite the husband to go to KTV to sing, play too hi, sleep in KTV - accommodation. I woke up early the next morning— looking at my phone, there were 105 missed calls, all from my wife! Frightened, I quickly asked the old man, "What should I do?" The old man thought about it, decisively turned off my mobile phone, and pulled out the SIM card and broke it in half. Then the old man said to me: "I will go out to get a new card, and tell my girlfriend that your mobile phone card is broken, so I changed to a new number!"

2. The prince and princess have been living happily in the castle since they got married. One day the dwarf came to the castle and asked the prince, "Tell me how you saved the princess after she fell ill after eating a poisoned apple." The prince looked fondly into the distance and recalled: "That day, I gently called the name of the princess, and she did not wake up; I wrapped her tightly in my arms, and she did not wake; then, I kissed her lips, and she still did not wake up..." "Later, I slapped her hard, and the princess was sick."

3. When I was in junior high school, I lived in school, and once my family killed pigs, my father came to see me and filled me with a jar full of fried fat meat. It was quite cold, and by the time school meat and oil had solidified, I sat on the bed in my dorm room and sniffed with my father while digging up an iron spoon to eat. When my father left, he told me to remember to bring this porcelain jar back during the holidays. I looked at the jar and handed it to Dad: "When you're done eating, take it back to you!!!!!

4, the wife's mobile phone fell into the toilet, resulting in a serious toilet blockage. I couldn't hold back, so I went to the public toilet in the park. A buddy crouched in the pit and greeted me: "Dude, do you have any paper?" Waited an hour. Me: "No." He: "Is there a gross ticket then?" I flipped over my wallet: "No. He said, "Coins, coins!" Me: "No, don't believe you." I was about to leave, only to hear the buddy continue to say: "No, you go to the outside door to help me smash the tiles, help!" "I was momentarily stunned...?

5, the flight attendant's wife recognized a dry father who opened a Maybach, and I couldn't stand it and divorced her. Daddy felt sorry for me and gave me a check for 3 million as compensation. After getting the money, I invested in a company. During the lunch break, I heard two employees chatting. Aunt Li said: My son is really raised for others, and I can't see it several times a year! Aunt Wang said: The daughter is not easy to raise, the daughter is not the mother, and the old woman will not come back after a small illness. I am very confused, because this Aunt Li and Aunt Wang are the daughter's family, who is lying?

6, I graduated from college to start my own business, now is the boss of three companies, due to the company's business more and more, many contracts are my personal to talk, I traveled to the field. When I go out in the morning, I see that the street food is particularly delicious, and I want to taste more. I asked for a tofu brain and a bowl of bean foam alone, and soon another big brother came. He looked at me and asked for 2 soups by myself, disdainfully skimmed his lips, and muttered: Oh, this is showing off wealth, boss, give me a bowl of bean foam, a bowl of tofu brain, a piece of soy milk, a piece of millet porridge.

7, my girlfriend is a very tough woman, but her heart is still very soft. I remember her Valentine's Day lovelorn hiding at home drunk like mud, I went to see her at home, she fainted when she opened the door and broke her forehead. I took her to the health center to bandage her, and the nurse brought her half a bottle of alcohol to wipe her wounds. I sat behind her and supported her, who knows when the nurse turned around to get something, the girlfriend picked up the alcohol duang ~ duang ~ duang ~ the bottle was blown out...

8. Today I beat my 9-year-old son's skin open, and his son's cry attracted many neighbors. But despite my neighbor's persuasion, I still beat him hard. Because he ran to walk the dog this morning, but the dog did not obey. The son met the dog riding a tricycle, so he sold the dog for 50 yuan. This is a Tibetan mastiff, I bought it for 20,000 yuan that year!

9. Last time I went to KTV with a group of friends! Sing and drink! A bald big brother with a gold chain suddenly kicked in the door and came in, sat down and drank with us. We all thought he knew one of us, and after drinking two bottles of wine, the big brother suddenly realized. I'm sorry to say: I seem to have walked into the wrong room! Finally, that big brother went and bought our single!?

10, the wife has been pregnant for several months, and the family has been very happy. Today my wife suddenly got upset and kept going to the toilet. The man said with concern: You have been in the toilet for so long, where is it uncomfortable? Mrs. : It doesn't matter, it's just a bit diarrhea. The man suddenly shouted: Baby, grasp the rope in your mother's belly, don't let your mother pull you out.

11, my boyfriend is twenty years older than me, and he was very nervous before coming to my house. So I said to my father, "Dad, you said that you don't touch your tobacco and alcohol, and you don't drink tea." My boyfriend brother came to see you once, and I don't know what gift to bring? After entering the living room, the father sitting on the sofa said deeply: "Why not let him bring some Wangwang crushed ice!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #