1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. One in my heart

1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, found another female colleague Amei, she has a strong business ability, if you let her help me do this plan, it will be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

2. On the 18th birthday of his brother-in-law, his goddess took the initiative to invite him to travel to Tibet with him. The two arrived by train at night, and when the hotel front desk was preparing to open the room, the goddess said with concern: "Just open one, don't waste money!" In order to leave a good impression on the goddess, the brother-in-law immediately took out the salary for moving bricks for half a month. Then he said particularly boldly: "Don't be bad money, open two rooms, look down on whom!" ”

3, my community downstairs has a haidilao, the hostess is particularly beautiful, one to two to mixed. Every time I went to dinner, I deliberately provoked her: "Take you to the bar at night, can't you walk?" She always laughed and didn't answer. Last night I asked a girl online to go to dinner together. At the checkout, the lady boss came and said, "Won't you take me to the bar tonight?" "The girl turned around and left....... I went, hostess, did you mean it or was jealous!

4. My sister-in-law is nine months pregnant and suddenly wants to eat five-minute cooked Filet steak, so she can't take her to eat it. I was eating it when I suddenly had abdominal pain and was pushed into the delivery room. Halfway through the operation, the doctor came out and said to the husband, "Your wife has a difficult birth, do you want to protect the adult or the child?" The old man did not hesitate at all: "Lord Bao! The doctor looked shocked: "Are you sure of Bao Da?" Don't you need to think? The old man looked puzzled: "Thinking about what?" I'm her dad, not her husband! ”

5. Yesterday I parked the Bentley on the side of the road, lay down in the driver's seat and fell asleep. I was dreaming of a date with a goddess when an uncle came over and patted my car window. Uncle: Boy, I lost my wallet and have no money to eat, can I give 10 yuan to eat? Me: Come on, I'll take you to eat! After that, I pulled my uncle to the noodle restaurant I often visited, and asked the boss to order an oversized bowl of noodles. The uncle ate for a full 20 minutes and sweated. Before leaving, I gave the uncle 20 yuan and asked the uncle to take a taxi to the station.

6. My cousin and cousin are both working in the field, and there is only one uncle left in the family. Yesterday Uncle was unwell, and I drove him to the hospital for examination. Driving fast on the road, I accidentally hit a Porsche. The owner of the Porsche, a woman, got out of the car and scolded: "Your uncle, how do you drive the car!" Uncle rolled down the car window: "Girl, I am his uncle, I can say anything!" "The female owner blushed, and did not ask for compensation and drove away...

7. When I wake up in the morning, I find that my back is sore, and the most important thing is a little fever. Looking at the sleeping boyfriend next to me, I couldn't help but get angry: I rely on you, most of the night you have to take me out to eat barbecue, let me drink cold drinks, and buy me a bunch of snacks. The more I talked, the more I was bottomless, and I felt that I was not paying attention. Watching him rub his eyes and look at me with a confused face, I was even more angry: Why did I have a cold, you didn't!

8. This morning, I plucked up enough courage to say to the boss: "Boss, I think of a boyfriend!" The boss was shocked: "I understand your mood, but our company really doesn't issue boyfriends!" I quickly explained: "No, no, I mean I have a boyfriend, I want to go to him, I want to take three days off..." So the boss patted his thigh and said, "I have a boyfriend!" I didn't expect that! Three days off is enough? I'll give you ten days! Be sure to take down this stupid boy! After all, the boys in our company are scared to see you, afraid that you have ideas about them! ”"

9. The wife is a supervisor of the Green Land Group, and after getting married, she quit her job and taught her husband and children at home. Today, my wife went to a classmate's party, and my wife introduced herself to her classmates that she had entered politics. The students were all shocked: "Oh I'm going, really?" The wife smiled: "This married chicken from the chicken, married from the dog, I married a person surnamed Zheng, I naturally entered politics!" ”

10. When my brothers were in their sophomore year, when they came home one weekend, they actually learned that my mother was pregnant again! So he angrily ran to ask his father. Dude said: I'm so old, why do you want to be small. His father looked at him, thought about it, and said: This is the same as you playing a game, the tuba practice is wasted, and you must play with the trumpet! Waste...... Waste...... finish......

11, my husband was sick, just had surgery, had to eat dumplings stuffed with shrimp, I had to go to the supermarket to buy Ki Wai shrimp. When I got home, I instructed my husband to peel the shrimp, and I rolled out the dumpling skin while chatting with my husband. I said: "Husband, next time don't eat shrimp dumplings, it's not cost-effective, such a big shrimp shell to pinch the head and tail, there is still a little left, and dozens of pieces of a pound, too expensive!" The husband said: "Oh, that's far worse than you!" You eat and sleep at home every day, hum a few times every night, and I will give you all my salary of more than 10,000 yuan a month! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #