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1. The brother-in-law went out to buy cigarettes, and his Huawei P40pro mobile phone landed at home. Suddenly there was a phone call coming, I looked at the display "10010", I didn't think much about it, just hung up!? Passed

author:Laughing haha magician

1. The brother-in-law went out to buy cigarettes, and his Huawei P40pro phone was left at home. Suddenly there was a phone call coming, I looked at the display "10010", I didn't think much about it, just hung up!? After a while, a text message came, and the sender was exactly 10010: "Why don't you answer the phone?" My heart was very worried, and the jewel made God send a call back. On the other side of the phone came my niece's familiar voice: "Dad, why don't you answer my phone?" My living expenses are gone, you hurry up and call me!?" I instantly understood what 10010 meant.

2. I went to college in Shandong, and my parents returned to my hometown in Shanghai for a while during the holidays. I took a shower at night and saw that my dad's underwear was broken with several holes, so I asked him why he didn't buy a new one. Dad smiled and said, "It's not about saving money for you to go to college." I was very touched when I heard this, and at this time, my mother came over and shouted, "Don't you pull it, this is not to make you embarrassed to take off your pants in front of other little girls!" ”

3. Went out to run Didi at night, pulled a beautiful girl, got on the car and said, "Brother, run as you like!" "I said girl, let's dodi, not for rent." The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not bad for money, just run, just listen to me!" I immediately got angry, pulled the girl along the city wall, and an hour later, I kindly reminded: "Sister, 300!" The girl looked at it and said, "Brother, are you taking a detour?" You pull from the south gate of the city wall to my goose pagoda, how can you have so much money? I suddenly became vigilant: "Sister, you said to run casually." The girl was not pleased and said, "If you can prove that I said those words, I will marry you!" "I said I couldn't prove it, count me unlucky, I don't want money." The girl was anxious: "Brother, Didi Car recorded the whole process, you check ah, must have said, you check it and you will know!" "I'm getting more and more vigilant, even if I paste 300 upside down, it can't prove it, do you say I did the right thing?"

4. A scientist goes to the market to buy two experimental subjects, and he stops at a stall selling monkeys. The scientist pointed to a monkey and asked: How much does this monkey cost? The vendor said: Five thousand dollars, please do not question the price, this is a monkey who can only write program code. The scientist pointed to another and asked: What about this? Vendor Answer: Ten thousand pieces because it is a website engineer! The scientist asked the third monkey. The vendor said: This only sells for 100,000 yuan, and his skill is... Honestly I don't know what it's going to be, but those two guys just called it the boss!

5. Graduate students who graduated from college went to apply for programmers, and they promised to give graduate students an annual salary of 400,000. On the first day of work, the graduate student took a look at the project and said: I think your company is not suitable for me, I still leave my job!! The supervisor was confused and did not understand why he left his job as soon as he joined the company. Then the supervisor asked the graduate student: Can you tell me why? The graduate student said: Your code, there is a Buddha statue living in it, I can't figure it out. "

6. The sister-in-law is a school flower who met once in 2000 at 211 University, and worked as a quality inspector in an oil field after graduation. Today at home watching TV, the sister-in-law suddenly returned. She said to me in frustration: Sister-in-law, I was fired from the company today! I said in surprise: Huh? You are so beautiful and excellent, why did the company fire you? Sister-in-law: It's because I'm so pretty! Me: Huh? That's a far-fetched reason, isn't it? Sister-in-law: The company's employees are all men, since I went, quality accidents have occurred frequently...?

7. After dad became a supervisor, he spent $6 million to buy me a house in a big city. Today the elevator broke down and I was ready to climb the stairs. Next to a takeaway brother, carrying a 50-pound large box, is also climbing the stairs layer by floor. I couldn't bear it, so I walked with him and chatted, and finally reached the 22nd floor. The takeaway guy gasped and said to me, "Brother, thank you!" I patted him on the shoulder and said, "You're welcome, give me the fried chicken I ordered." ”

8. Goddess: "I want to find a husband who can cook, what will you cook?" Scumbag: "Chicken with shiitake mushrooms, braised pork ribs, and sauerkraut fish are many, many more." Then the scumbag took the goddess home and showed a hand, which was actually all instant noodles, and then the goddess married the scumbag. Ten years later, the scumbag asked, "When you knew that the dishes I cooked were instant noodles, why did you marry me?" The goddess sneered, "The first time I've seen someone blow bubble instant noodles so fresh and vulgar, I think you're also a thoughtful person!" ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #

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