1, I remember once I took a plane to the toilet, so I went to the toilet to open the door, at that time it scared me, there was a flight attendant in the toilet, may have forgotten to lock the door. She was stunned at first, and then she was anxious

1, I remember once I took a plane to the toilet, so I went to the toilet to open the door, at that time it scared me, there was a flight attendant in the toilet, may have forgotten to lock the door. She was first stunned, and then stomped her feet urgently: "Who are you, what are you doing, you close the door quickly" I blushed at that time, hurriedly said sorry, closed the door, leaned on the door and gasped for breath, thinking that it was really embarrassing, who knew that at this time there was a flight attendant's cry: "I let you go out and close the door!" ”?

2. In order to facilitate the grab of red packets, I downloaded a software dedicated to grabbing red packets. You can grab red envelopes every day without looking at your mobile phone, and the speed is fast! Recently, the boss got a V-letter group to supervise us, but I forgot to delete the software. As a result, I was sadly criticized by the boss, saying that I was negligent. The reason is that he specially picked a work time to send a red envelope in the group, and everyone did not dare to click on it, just saw me grab...

3. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, I brought two bottles of Maotai and a whole Maserati car gift to see the old man. I talked about life while drinking, and I made a little money in recent years. My mother-in-law said to me triumphantly: You have done a good job, thank my daughter- and daughter-in-law, before you married my daughter-in-law, how poor, that ear is stretched, you look at now, the ear is pulled by my girlfriend, they are about to stand up, this is called zhao cai ear ... Feelings are the reason for this...

4. When the girlfriend went to work in an electronics factory, she was favored by the factory director who was worth more than ten million. The factory director gave a dowry of 8.88 million, and I forced my daughter to divorce and marry the factory director. After marriage, the daughter lived happily, but never called out the name of the factory director. That time, the factory director asked his daughter-in-law: "Honey, why do you never call me by my name?" Girl: "Oh, your name is so ugly!" ”

5. A male classmate in our class often offered me hospitality for half a semester, and I secretly promised him. But he was slow to confess to me, and today he personally made a love breakfast and wanted to give it to him. I didn't want to bump into him flirting with other girls, I was angry, glad I didn't confess. He saw me coming, pointed to the breakfast and asked: This is not going to be for me to eat, right? I said coldly: Feed the dog!

6, I am selling breakfast, I sold breakfast for 10 years, today was completely hit by a girl. This morning a girl came to me to buy buns, she asked for 3 buns, I gave her 1, and she had to return them to me. I said, "Girl, this bun is for you, no money." The girl said, "Thanks, I'll eat 3." I looked at her and said, "Are you losing weight?" The girl said, "No, your buns are not delicious, and I can't eat up to 3." ”

7. The mother-in-law is a business executive who often travels around the world. Today she had just returned to her room to catch up on sleep, only to find a yellow hair under the bed, which was obviously not hers. So she called the old man, burned her hair in front of her face, and said that she didn't see anything. The old man walked out with his head down, and I hurried forward and asked, "Dad, how's it going, you've always wanted to change the sheets, have I succeeded in this move?" The old man: "Alas..."?

8, the sister-in-law newly married Yan'er, and the little uncle did not go out of the room for nearly a week after marriage, the mother-in-law did not understand, knocking on the door is not big, angry kick open the door, go in and find that the desktop left a note: the two have been catching a flight to the Maldives the night before. On the subway, a girl gave way to a woman with a child, and the woman said to the child: Thank you aunt quickly. The girl said: Let's call my sister, I'm only 28. The woman said sheepishly: I only have 26... girl......

9, the same table is the class flower, although beautiful but poor learning, every day as soon as the class goes to sleep. This morning in chemistry class, the teacher asked to observe the color of the potion, and the teacher asked her to answer when he saw the class flowers sleeping. The class flower could not distinguish between colorless transparent and white, and the teacher explained half a lesson bitterly, but she still did not understand. Finally, the teacher caught fire, picked up a transparent test tube and asked: What color is this? Ban Hua looked at it for half a day and said: White. So the teacher said: Well, you will wear this kind of white clothes to school tomorrow!

10. In the morning, my daughter-in-law asked me: My husband, let's go out to dinner, shall we? Me: Okay, daughter-in-law, wait a minute! I went to the bathroom, put on makeup, changed my clothes and left. Half an hour has passed, daughter-in-law: Husband, okay, this is almost lunch? Me: Didn't you say go out to lunch? Hahahahaha, small sample, don't you know that I am known for slamming the door, this saves another twenty yuan!

11, I said to my colleagues: pretending to be my girlfriend once thirty thousand, she agreed, and less than three months later she ran to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like it's a long-term plan!

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