1, last night at twelve o'clock, the female neighbor called to say that her house lights are not on, asked me if I will change the light bulb. So I ran to her house with the light bulb. I asked her, "It's not light

1, last night at twelve o'clock, the female neighbor called to say that her house lights are not on, asked me if I will change the light bulb. So I ran to her house with the light bulb. I asked her, "Isn't that bright?" She: "It's the bedroom that's not bright." So I went to the bedroom and I turned on the switch. Me: "There is light, then I will go back to sleep!" She blushed a little and said, "Oh, actually, I'm blocking the sewers, and I want you to help me get through." I suddenly realized, "Hey, go to my house first to go to the toilet, tomorrow I'll help you get through." "I left angrily, this big night without sleeping will be there to fool me, don't know I'm going to work tomorrow??"

2. I bought a few pounds of oranges on the way back from work. After eating dinner and my husband sat in the living room watching TV in the evening, I picked up one and asked my husband: "Do you eat oranges?" The husband asked, "Sweet or not?" I said, "Haven't I finished peeling it yet, but the orange skin has the word 'honey orange' on it?" My husband listened and looked up at me. Then he said weakly: "When we met, the introducer also said that you had a good temper, but the result... Can't believe the packaging. ”?

3. When the mother-in-law was a child, her family was poor, and in order to make the family less burdensome, she went to Wudang Mountain alone to find the old Taoist to learn medical skills. After completing his studies, he went down the mountain to work as a barefoot doctor in the village. Influenced by my mother-in-law, my wife also knows a little bit of Chinese medicine. But my wife understands all the partial doors, such as being bitten by mosquitoes to spread cooking wine, beriberi vinegar, chapped lips with sesame oil, so my family's spices are bottomed out. Recently I had hemorrhoids but I really didn't dare let my wife know. Because I saw that the house was gone except for chili oil and toothpaste.

4. My daughter is in the first grade of elementary school this year, and today I took my daughter home from school. When I got home, I started cooking and eating, and my daughter said to me, "Mom, tomorrow the school will go on an autumn tour, and our class will organize a barbecue." The teacher said that everyone should bring one thing with them. I asked her, "So what do you want to take with you?" Chicken wings? Beef? Or sausages? The little girl blinked and said, "How tired it is to take those!" It was enough for me to bring napkins to wipe my mouth. ”

5. The old man had a fever, and the mother-in-law quickly drove him to the hospital for injections. The nurse looked at the old man's ass and smiled, saying, "Big brother, your tattoo is really interesting!" The old man was confused, and the mother-in-law asked the nurse in confusion: "Tattoos, what tattoos?" The nurse pointed her hand at Doraemon on the old man's ass and said, "Isn't that it!" The mother-in-law's face turned red when she saw it, and she quickly said, "You misunderstood, that's my husband's panties fading!" ”?

6. The son wanted to eat a hamburger and took the neighbor's children to Burger King. The neighbor's children are more able to eat, saying that the portion size of the hamburger feels much less than before. I ignored it, but I found that my son had been staring at a little Lolita who was eating ice cream, and his saliva was about to flow down! I asked him: Do you want to eat? Want to eat to buy for you! The son thought for a moment and said: I don't want to eat, but I want her to be my girlfriend, can you help me?

7, recently just changed a mobile phone number, V signal also to register a new, V signal registration, my brother added a cousin for a time. Because my cousin always used memes to tease me, I planned to prank her this time. I messaged her and said, "Beauty, do you have a boyfriend?" Cousin: I was married a long time ago, and my son and I are as old as you! Me: Really? I don't believe it unless you show me a picture of your son! Then I received a picture of me from her.

8. Early in the morning, my brother-in-law called and asked me and my daughter-in-law to take my daughter-in-law and eat radish stewed lamb. This is something that has never happened before, every time I bought a good dish and went to my mother-in-law's house, my brother-in-law only had one mouth. I agreed, and then he said, "I'm in the supermarket, today's radish special price, as long as it is six cents and eight, you don't have to buy radish, just buy five or six pounds of lamb on the line, more we can't finish eating, waste." I......

9. The beautiful flight attendant frantically threw her arms and sent bags to the old fang, and the old fang broke the ring, and also married the flight attendant. The day after the marriage, the old Fang Zhan asked the flight attendant in his arms: "There are so many excellent men you don't marry, why do you want to chase after me this old man?" Flight attendant: "The doctor said, I have a serious insomnia certificate, taking sleeping pills does not work, if this will be fatal for a long time, only when you chant the prayer I can fall asleep, in the future every night as long as you chant the prayer at the window, I will no longer have to worry about not being able to sleep!" Old Fang: "Ah..."

10. The sister-in-law's misconduct at school led to her unmarried pregnancy, and as a result, she was driven out of the house by her mother-in-law. My wife felt that my sister-in-law had no place to live, so she took her to our house. After eating last night, my sister-in-law and I were washing dishes in the kitchen when the phone in the living room suddenly rang. I heard my wife answer the phone and say, "He's in the shower." The sister-in-law immediately said to me: "It is definitely your mother who called, if it is someone else calling, my sister will say that you are washing dishes." ”

11, with the boyfriend for three years, today the boyfriend extra generous, after work back to the surname of Fen said to me: "There is a new shop nearby, there are more things in it, after eating, take you to go, want to buy what you want, I invite guests!" "As soon as I was happy, I fried a few more dishes that he liked to eat, and opened him a bottle of wine. After eating, he took me to a newly opened two-dollar shop and said, "This is the store, don't be polite, buy it!" The sound of the horn in the shop came: "Pick and choose, buy everything for two yuan..." My heart is cold!

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