1. The owner of the construction site took 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 pieces of one. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. After checkout

1. The owner of the construction site took 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 pieces of one. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"

2, on the weekend, I went to the mall with my eldest brother and sister-in-law, thinking of buying a few clothes, and my sister-in-law hit a very beautiful dress, which is more than 30,000 yuan. My brother whispered: "This dress has only one drawback, that is, it is too expensive, top my half a month's salary..." The sister-in-law smiled lightly: "Expensive, not the shortcomings of the skirt, but your shortcomings..." My brother instantly fell...?

3. On Valentine's Day, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! In fact, people like big dolls the most! At the time of Tanabata, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! In fact, people like French perfume the most! On her birthday, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! In fact, people think that diamonds represent eternity! At Christmas, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! I said, "Wait a minute! Daughter-in-law, do you like anything cheap? Daughter-in-law: "Yes!" People actually like you the most! ”

4, my cousin took the bus mobile phone a few days ago and was stolen, and those days were sullen! Today we led the way and called him into the office, and I was furious for some reason. My cousin came out and looked at me with his phone and said, "The buddy who picked up the phone yesterday called my son, you know, we led the note!" I looked at his handsome face and felt that the days when he had returned to no work were coming again!

5, after graduating from college, I had nothing to do at home all day, my mother was annoyed to see me, and she threw me out to find a job, so I came to a construction site to work as a surveyor. I met an older carpenter at the construction site who worked all day wearing a pair of cloth shoes with the Maserati logo. I smiled and asked him, "Big brother, how much is your Ferrari shoes, and I want to buy a pair to wear??" The eldest brother smiled and showed an unpredictable expression, pulled out the keys of a Ferrari in his pocket, smiled lightly, and said: "This thing still needs money??" It should not be worth the money, when you buy a car, people send it!! ”

6. That morning, the boy received a call from the girl who had just broken up, and the girl said, "I'm on the plane in 2 hours, if you can come I won't leave." The boy was so excited that he took his mobile wallet and rushed out, saying firmly: "I love you, wait for me." "2 hours have passed and he is still in Sanlitun for a taxi... After 4 hours, the boy finally arrived at the airport and found the girl in the waiting hall to receive instant noodles...

7. Eating in the company restaurant today, suddenly a very beautiful girl came to me with a plate and asked me: Handsome man, can I share a table with you? I turned my head and looked elsewhere, there were many empty tables around, but I didn't mean to refuse, so I nodded and said to her: Yes. During the meal, my sister would sneak a peek at me from time to time, and I was also found to secretly photograph me. Finally, the girl couldn't help but talk to me again: Handsome man, can I add you a WeChat? I asked: Why? The girl said: Because you are handsome, I like you. I rejected her and said to her: You just think I'm good-looking, but you don't find that I'm not only handsome, but also very connotative! "

8, the wife usually does not exercise much, physical fitness is also very poor. On weekend breaks, I dragged her out to climb the mountain with me. As a result, she was exhausted and lay motionless on the bed when she got home. The next day, I went shopping with my wife, and as I walked, my wife suddenly fell to the ground with her legs weak. She complained loudly: I blame you, it makes people's legs weak! For some reason, I always feel that the eyes of the people around me are a little wrong.....

9. After graduating from college, I worked in a listed company, my work was very busy, I usually didn't have time to find a girlfriend, and my family always urged me. I was annoyed that my parents kept urging me to doubt the marriage. Eat with a married colleague at noon. During the meal, I suddenly asked him: What is marriage? The buddy said lightly: "Before getting married, when you go home and see the lights downstairs, you will feel warm in your heart, and when you go home after marriage and see the lights on, you will feel that your legs are soft!" ”

10. Recently, I have been busy and have not had time to get a haircut. I went to the barber shop on the weekend, and I found that the guy who gave me a haircut had a strange habit. It was he who occasionally rubbed the scissors on my shoulder to rub off the hair on the scissors. I was puzzled and asked him why he was doing this. He was a little embarrassed to say: When I was a child, I shaved pigs and got used to it...

11. Dude is a class teacher in junior high school. A little fart child in the class actually fell in love in the first year of the first year, and was caught by the buddies. After all, he was not very old, so the buddies decided to have a good talk with him and let them give up on their own. After school, I had a discussion with the boys, and the results were not bad. Dude finally understands why he hasn't found a girlfriend at the age of 30!

#Funny# #Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #