1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. One in my heart

1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, found another female colleague Amei, she has a strong business ability, if you let her help me do this plan, it will be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me!

2, yesterday my brother refused to sleep at two o'clock at night, how to coax useless, the old mother was angry at his ass is two slaps, did not expect to work very well, he cried for a few minutes on his own to fall asleep. I said gleefully, "You deserve to be beaten!" Who made you not sleep! My mother wiped my head and said helplessly, "Girl, this is how you came when you were a child, and this experience is summed up from you." "I...

3. I have worked in Futukang for many years, and the food in the unit canteen is getting worse and worse every day. In order to let the boss know, all of our employees ate a little in the canteen every day, then poured it out, and then went outside to make a fast food and come back to eat. After many times, I finally got the attention of my boss. At the meeting this morning, the boss said: After the canteen will not cook, no one will eat anyway!

4. My mother met friends when she danced square dancing, learned to buy lottery tickets with her, and gradually became addicted. However, my mother bought a lot and never won the lottery. Yesterday, a lottery player told her that the chance to win the lottery was in spongeBob squarepants on the children's channel! So mom sat in front of the TV every afternoon to watch SpongeBob SquarePants. If My mom knew that the lottery player was my tor, I guess she would kill me!?

5. Because I didn't cook because I was playing LOL, my wife threw me out of the house in a rage. After leaving home, I walked with the crowd of people walking fast to fitness. I kept going above and beyond and finally came in first place. After a while, a young man trotted up to catch up and said: Big brother, can you slow down? My wife said I was useless and couldn't catch up with you! I shivered and said: No, I was cold when I walked slowly, and I forgot to wear more clothes when I was kicked out of the house!?

6. I was at work when I suddenly received a phone call: "Guess who I am?" Guess there are gifts! "I guessed everyone I could think of, maybe, but it wasn't right. Later, I became angry and impatiently exploded: "Who the hell are you XXX?" Don't say I hung up the phone! And the man said, "I'm delivering the courier, and you have a package..."

7, I have been frantically looking for a job recently, this mood we should all understand, after I submitted a special number of resumes, I waited for a long time! finally! One of them asked me to go for an interview today! Brother: How's it going? Dude, did your interview work out? I said: It's so disgusting that they actually read the wrong resume!

8. When I was in high school, I had a long-term love affair with my beautiful lesbian table. In order to chase her, five yuan a day for food, four yuan to buy her snacks, only eat one yuan of steamed bread. Ten years later I finally married her and became a wife, and my pocket money is still five yuan a day. Happily, the five dollars are now at my disposal. But for some reason I was always unhappy.

9. Today, my mother made an appointment to play mahjong at home, and asked me to clean up my room: "Look at your room!" Me: "What's wrong with my house?" Mom: "It's as messy as a pig's nest!" Me: "It's okay, don't pack." The old mother roared angrily: "You say it again! Me: "Have you ever seen a pig clean up his own house?" Isn't it all pig packing? ”

10, met a girl on the Internet, a few days ago came out to meet, directly determined the relationship. Happy that night, celebrating with friends over a drink, holding a photo is a show off. After drinking, several people staggered back, and suddenly a friend slapped me a few times: "That's not your girlfriend?" I was stunned, and took a closer look, holding a girl who was an old man of about fifty years old, and it was really her. I exploded at once, rushing over with a flying kick, and the old man directly lay on the ground and scratched out. Dashingly turned to leave, suddenly heard his girlfriend shouting: "Dad, are you okay?" "Am I running now, or am I going to turn around and say I'm sorry?"

11. After the uncle was injured by a Toyota Alpha, the owner lost 5.8 million. He took out more than 2 million and married a beautiful model who was 30 years younger than himself. After the marriage, the beautiful model bore him a son, and the uncle especially loved this young son. One day, my cousin asked my uncle, "Dad, do you say that time is important or money is important?" Uncle: "It still needs to be said, it must be time important." Cousin: "Then let's go to the supermarket to buy toys, buy them online, although cheap, but it will take several days." "There is nothing wrong with the Q&A, uncle is so alive and routine!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #