1. The local tycoon takes the wife back to the countryside for the first time, the lady urinates on the road, lets the local tycoon let himself wind, and the wife goes to the field to relieve. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked the lady, "Big sister, you are."

1. The local tycoon took his wife back to his hometown in the countryside for the first time, the lady urinated urgently on the road, let the local tycoon let himself wind, and the lady went to the field to relieve himself. As soon as he came out and met the eldest master, he asked his wife, "Big sister, are you from our village?" Madame was particularly embarrassed, but fortunately the local tycoon came over, and Madame asked him who this uncle was? The local tycoon took one look at it and said, "This grandson who doesn't know!" Madame pulled his clothes and made him speak more politely. Unexpectedly, the uncle saw the local tycoon and actually greeted him happily: "Second grandfather, are you home?" ”

2. The daughter-in-law and the sister-in-law were born on the same day, the two look almost exactly the same, even the personality is similar, often from time to time to a prank, often I do not know who is my daughter-in-law and who is the sister-in-law, yesterday, the daughter-in-law did not know what to smoke, found a few clothes of the sister-in-law, and then took my arm back to the mother-in-law's house. The mother-in-law saw the sister-in-law holding my arm, and she shook her head, and her face changed in an instant, and she picked up the broom next to her and shouted at her daughter-in-law: Deadpool, that's your brother-in-law, let go of him. Unexpectedly, the daughter-in-law made a grimace and said: I am biased. After saying that, he pressed it more tightly to me. I was embarrassed to get it on the side, I don't know how to explain it, I now have a little doubt that she is not my daughter-in-law. "

3. That morning, the boy received a call from the girl who had just broken up, and the girl said, "I'm on the plane in 2 hours, and if you can come I won't leave." The boy was so excited that he took his mobile wallet and rushed out, saying firmly: "I love you, wait for me." "2 hours have passed and he is still in Sanlitun for a taxi... After 4 hours, the boy finally arrived at the airport and found the girl in the waiting hall to receive instant noodles...

4. The local tycoon fell in love with a color-blind woman in the study of HIT, and after graduation, the local tycoon confessed to his family, and the mother of the local tycoon said: "This color blindness is a genetic disease, and I firmly disagree." But in the end, the local tycoon still broke through many obstacles and married the girl. A year later, a daughter was born, and soon, tragedy occurred, the daughter identified as color blindness, and then the local tycoon resolutely divorced the girl!? So the question is, why do local tycoons divorce colorblind women?

5. In the morning, I went to the public toilet, accidentally dropped a ten-dollar piece on the ground, I didn't want to pick it up but I was reluctant to do it, so I carried a corner to the street corner to buy fritters... Bring me ten dollars for fritters and fritters Aunt didn't look at a handful of scratches, I was happy. At this time, I saw that my aunt grabbed a handful of fritters by the hand.

6. There is a girl who is on a blind date, and he is accompanied by his sister, and the boy looks very loyal and honest, and his appearance is not very handsome. The girl asked the boy, "What do you do?" The sister on the side rushed to help him answer: "He is engaged in planting at home, contracting dozens of acres of land and planting flowers!" The girl listened and said in surprise, "Oh! Good coincidence, I also prefer flowers, I work is to sell flowers, what flowers do you grow? Only to hear the boy reply very bluntly: "I planted cotton, cotton!" ”

7. I had a good relationship with a female colleague, and today I saw her listless in her seat, and I was worried about what had happened to her, so I went over to her and asked her: Why do you look unhappy. Female colleagues said: Yesterday I went on a blind date, but I was disliked by others. I quickly comforted her: It's okay, isn't it that the blind date failed, brother introduced you to a better one. The female colleague turned from crying to laughing at this time. "

8. When my girlfriend and I first moved in, my girlfriend started asking me to quit smoking. She said to me, "You have to think about it, for your own health, our future children must also quit!" I thought it made sense, so I quit smoking with my strong self-control and saved the money for cigarettes. A year passed, and she dangled in front of me with a brand new bag: See, that's the money you saved by quitting smoking!

9. In order to repay the 180,000 yuan I owed to Alipay, I married a 48-year-old rich woman. I don't have to go to work after I get married, but I have to accompany her to the mall every day. That time, she tried on a Givenchy dress worth 98,000 yuan and asked the shopping guide: Is it beautiful? The shopping guide said: Madam, this dress is so beautiful to wear on you! The wife was particularly excited at that time, and immediately swiped the card to buy it. After a while, the shopping guide came to my side and said guiltily: I'm really sorry, I just lied! I comforted him and said: Girl, don't feel too overwhelmed by lying once, I've been lying for 10 years!

10. After driving to the destination, the young woman looked at me with a smile and said that she had forgotten to bring money, let me do well, and kissed her to offset the fare. I said I am a decent gentleman, you don't come with me to that set, how much car money should be given to me, you have to give me as much car money as you want, not less than a penny. She laughed and joked with me, and then took a watch out of her bag and handed it to me, saying that this watch was bought by me to give to my cousin, he didn't like it very much, this watch I bought it for thousands of dollars, now simply give you the fare, as long as you add my friend. I was very unhappy and said, I just need to pay for the taxi, what is the watch going to do? I have a phone to watch the time! And I can't add strange women friends, otherwise my wife will beat me to death. The young woman had no choice, had to pay the taxi fare, breathlessly got out of the car and left, I thought to myself that this woman is really sick, in the future when you meet this kind of woman, you must be careful!

11. Recharge in the mobile phone business hall one day, the girl in front of the line is very charming, and when she turns around, she looks at it, and she is really a beautiful woman. When she reported the number to recharge, I quietly wrote down her number. At night, I suddenly remembered this beautiful woman, so I plucked up the courage and sent a text message: "How about making a friend?" "Who are you?" "I'm standing behind you today to charge the phone bill." "Oh, my girlfriend charged me today." "

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