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1, a friend died in a car accident for two years, his WeChat has not been deleted, suddenly one day, on a whim sent him a message: "Are you okay over there"? After a while

1, a friend died in a car accident for two years, his WeChat has not been deleted, suddenly one day, on a whim sent him a message: ""Are you okay over there"? After a while, two words popped up in the message box: "It's okay." "I was so frightened that I threw away my phone and couldn't get my soul back for a long time."

2. After the death of the mother-in-law, the father-in-law talked about a 24-year-old girlfriend. Not long ago, my girlfriend went on a business trip abroad and it would take three months to come back. Before leaving, the girlfriend told her father-in-law that she had nothing to go to her house to see, chat with her parents, and the father-in-law remembered it. Because her father likes to fish, most of the time, it is the father-in-law who chats with her mother. One day, when her father came home, he suddenly pulled his father-in-law to a corner and said: Dude, my wife has been taken care of by you quite thoughtfully during this time! The father-in-law hurriedly said: "Should be, should be!" Her father's face darkened, and then he said: Dude, the pot of rice I have simmered for more than 20 years has been eaten by you, and it is enough to eat it, I can not worry about it, but you must not move Lao Tzu's pot!!

3. The husband who failed to do business and carried a debt bought Dale to plant 170 million yuan and immediately bought a house of more than 300 square meters in the city center. After moving into my new home today, I found that a few young men downstairs in the community had opened a barbershop. Usually the business is particularly light, a few young men are fine, play guitar every day! Two months later, the barbershop closed and a guitar training class was held. I inadvertently glanced past and found that it was still the guys in the barbershop!

4. On this day, the little eunuch brought a bowl of water to the empress dowager, saying that it was a Western thing. Before the empress dowager drank, her hand happened to shake, the water spilled on the ground, and white foam bubbled up! The empress dowager was furious: "Even dared to poison me, pulled out and beheaded!" The knife and axe hand immediately pulled the little eunuch out and cut it, and the empress dowager was terrified. A foreigner asked to see, and the first sentence of the meeting was: "Empress, our Coca-Cola, is it delicious?" ”

5, today is the weekend, thinking of going to the supermarket to buy some food, just want to leave, a child jumped in front of my car to block my way. I said out loud: Where's the naughty egg, you jump on the old man and bump into you again. Unexpectedly, the words spoken by this baby were also really angry: Come on, come on, come on me. At that time, my fire rubbed up: you little fart really don't leave yourself a way back, if it weren't for the slow speed of my wheelchair, I would have driven over and hit you.

6. Yesterday, I came out of the mall and heard a woman shouting insults on a small road! As soon as I saw it, a man tugged at the beautiful woman's arm and didn't let go, so he rushed up to fight the man. Later I put the man down and got a little injury myself. Beauty stepped forward and asked with concern: Are you okay? Me: I'm fine, this little injury is nothing. Beauty: I mean you're not sick, I'm arguing with my boyfriend about your ass!?

7, I have been with my boyfriend for more than two years, but he was transferred to the field by their boss for work reasons, so we were in a long-distance relationship for a year, and one day my boyfriend called me and said, "Honey, this time is really hard for you, I decided, I want to quit my job and find a new job with you." "This day he told me that he was about to arrive at the high-speed rail station, I hurriedly pulled the girlfriend who was shopping to pick up my boyfriend, wanted to let the boyfriend and the girlfriend get to know me, see my boyfriend, in order to make the girlfriend feel that I was very close to him, I wanted to rush over to give him a hug, but the foot slipped, I fell forward, panicked and hugged the boyfriend's thigh, so the tragedy happened, the boyfriend was short-sighted, did not wear glasses at the time, did not recognize me at the time, he actually threw his legs back and said: "No money, no money, Go away...""

8, junior high school I and the male desk class chat, the class teacher saw me talking, let me stand up to answer just where she talked, I have been looking down and did not speak, the class teacher said, you give me to stand outside the classroom to listen to the class, I was just ready to go, I stood up at the same table, patted the class teacher's shoulder and said, forget it, give me a face. As a result, he was also punished to stand outside the classroom.

9, the cousin confessed to the goddess that year, asked the goddess to eat at a steakhouse, the two talked very happily, and everything developed in a beautiful direction. After the meal, her cousin was on the way home to send the goddess home, she was tripped, and when the cousin heard the voice, he instinctively flashed to the side. As a result, the goddess lay directly on the ground, and then she said that her cousin did not have the heart to pity the jade. Later, there was no later...

10. A few days ago, my sister-in-law just got her driver's license and borrowed my newly purchased Bentley. I had to take the subway to work, and suddenly Alipay rang out: 2 million yuan was in the account. Suddenly everyone on the bus was looking at me, and I was scared to take out my phone and open it. It turned out that my ex-girlfriend, who had just broken up, sent me a WeChat message: This money buys you a Porsche. I was touched: Why is it so good for me now? Do you want to get me back? Her: Huh? I was just playing Truth or Dare, and you'll remember to give me back the money later!!! I..... Traveling to a hotel, at more than one o'clock in the morning, suddenly a woman came knocking on the door. She was fashionably dressed and beautiful, and I yawned and asked her if she was looking for me for anything? She smiled and said, I'm right next door to you, I'm hungry and want to go out for a late night snack, but it's now more than 1 o'clock in the morning and I want you to accompany me. This beautiful woman must have wanted me to spend money to entertain, really want to be beautiful, I said, you still have to go to someone else. After saying that, I closed the door and went to bed.

11. Yesterday my cousin shaved in front of the mirror, and my cousin used to join in the fun. Cousin: "Do you know what is the hardest thing in the world?" Cousin: "I don't know." Cousin: "It's your man's beard." You say that your men's faces are so thick that they can grow beards. Cousin: "... I ask you a question, what is the thickest thing in the world. Cousin: "I don't know." Cousin: "Your woman's face." The beard is so hard that it just can't grow on your women's faces..."

#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #

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