The husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, was very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. I saw my wife sitting alone on the bed sweating profusely

The husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, was very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. Seeing his wife sitting on the bed alone in sweat, the husband asked angrily: What about people! The wife replied breathlessly: Say... Say what, how can there be other people in this room. The husband's bedroom, living room, kitchen, under the bed, wardrobe are all looked for again, and sure enough, a figure was found on the bed table, the husband kicked down, and the wife came in later and said, "Hey, where did the master who repaired the air conditioner go?"

2. This incident tells us a truth, never talk to someone who has been bitten by a dog! Chatting with friends, she said that she suspected that she had been bitten by a dog and had a fake vaccine when she was young, and now she would have convulsions from time to time! I said you don't have a big problem, I was bitten by a dog when I was a kid and didn't get an injection. The friend suddenly realized the expression: Oh ~, no wonder you have grown into a single dog now, it turns out that this is the reason... I want the light of the right path to shine on this earth!

3. Xiao Wang, my best colleague, suddenly disappeared for a few days and finally came back to work today. I asked: What have you been doing these days? Can't get through the phone? Xiao Wang: My wife took me out on a trip for a few days. I enviously said: Where to travel? Xiao Wang: There are beautiful scenery, beautiful mountains and rivers, dense forests, clear lakes, fresh air, and most importantly, you can also exercise properly, just like the TV show "Longing for Life"! Me: Wow, such a nice place, where? I want to go too! Xiao Wang sighed: Go to the countryside to pluck peanuts for your mother-in-law's house.

4. Yesterday I met a big sister of more than 180 pounds in the commissary, she fell in love with me at first sight and gave me a McLaren 720S. Riding this motorcycle out on an errand today, I accidentally crashed into a beautiful woman. When the beauty got up, she was furious: Don't you honk your horn? I said apologetically: I'm sorry, the horn will be pressed, but I don't know how to ride this motorcycle.

5. The college entrance examination is over, the girlfriend is crying, I have taken her, viciously: crying again and crying again, I will kiss you. The girlfriend cried even more sadly and said: Math is so hard, we can't go to the same university anymore. I smiled triumphantly and said: I know you won't, I didn't do the big problems in the back! Later, I went to New Oriental and my ex-girlfriend went to Tsinghua.

6. The rich man's son came home trembling and said, "Dad, I only scored 60 points on the exam today!" The rich man was very angry and said, "Next time you take the exam, don't call me Dad!" After the second exam, the son came back to the rich man and said, "I'm sorry, brother! At this time, the mobile phone held by the rich man's wife in her hand fell to the ground, and the rich man's father buried his head and smoked a cigarette fiercely.

7. Our department manager is a woman who has a good relationship with me and often eats together, so sometimes she often asks me for help. Recently, the female manager suddenly divorced her husband, asked me to help find a house, just my buddy is an intermediary, I paid 8000 deposit on the end. In the afternoon, the female manager was particularly satisfied with the house, but raised a question, saying that it was a little scary to live in a two-bedroom apartment alone, and ordered me to live in. I was just an employee, and after living in, I consciously took on the housework, including helping her fold the quilt. At first, one person and one house, but then she changed my house into a gym, so I had to make it up with two people. But within a few days I was not happy, she did that to me, did not want to give rent?

8. After marriage, I wanted to spend my honeymoon in China, but my wife said that this time in my life, I must go abroad. I couldn't help her, so I bought two tickets to Hawaii for 2,000 yuan. When passing through the security check, the staff looked at the wife after reading the wife's passport and said: How is the photo different from myself? Wife: The passport was taken five years ago, there may be some differences. I said lightly: Please let her go, she looks different every day!!

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #