1. My wife has a sister, my eldest sister-in-law, who recently got divorced and lives in my house temporarily. One day my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law. I sat with her

1. My wife has a sister, my eldest sister-in-law, who recently got divorced and lives in my house temporarily. One day my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law. I sat on the couch with her watching TV, the house suddenly went out of power, it was dark, the sister-in-law exclaimed, I thought something had happened to her, hurriedly hugged her, the sister-in-law screamed again, grabbed the garbage basket next to me and clasped it on my head! At this time, the call came, I stood in front of the eldest sister-in-law, the garbage was scattered all over me, not to mention how weird it was! The eldest sister-in-law was horrified, and actually said hilariously, brother-in-law, are you in Cosplay? I couldn't stop crying and laughing!

2. At the end of last month, an Iron Rooster colleague won the 5,000 yuan progress award, and according to the rules, he will invite everyone to dinner next week. Yesterday he suddenly secretly told me: "I will please tonight, our office will have two big stomach kings, these two days a lost love, a stock loss of 30,000, the mood is too bad to eat, I can save a little!" "After work we went to a restaurant near the unit, and halfway through eating, I had to go beforehand. Early this morning, the iron rooster colleague's eyes were black, and when he saw me, he complained: "But thanks to Dafa, this meal cost 1700, and there is no saving at all." I asked, "Why are there so many, aren't the two big stomach kings in the mood to eat?" The iron rooster colleague cried and said: "They are not in the mood to eat, but they both borrow wine to dispel their sorrows, drink more than 600 yuan of liquor, not to mention, but also caused me to take a taxi to send these two drunken cats home, busy until midnight!" ”?

3. My sister is a dancing anchor who met a 50-year-old local tycoon on the live broadcast platform. When my sister and brother once took the local tycoon home, my mother did not agree with it. At the critical moment, the sister gave her father a look. So Dad pulled my mother to the balcony and said: It's hard to have a blind and rich girl who looks at our girlfriend, you are like this, people don't want our girlfriend, what should I do? The old mother suddenly realized that she had settled the affair on the same day!

4. My girlfriend's boyfriend has always been confused. Once two people went on a date, opened a room on the side of the commercial street, and the girlfriend asked the boyfriend to tie himself up, and as a result, the two people forgot to bring TT, and the boyfriend got dressed and went out to buy. The boyfriend met his mom on the road, and he asked him what he was doing here, and he said he was eating, and his mom was just hungry and pulled him to eat a hot pot for three hours. Girlfriend said that the boyfriend finally learned to place play.

5. Recently, I was shopping with a foodie roommate in the dormitory, and there was a big sister who hurriedly asked for directions. The eldest sister asked angrily: Little girl, where is KFC? The roommate said: There are three nearby, yucai road that is delicious, but slow. The Huiying Road family has a good attitude and a lot of weight, but there are too many people. The nanjing road house often engages in activities, you decide which one to go to! The eldest sister said: You tell me which one is closest to me, I just go to the toilet! roommate......

6. My girlfriend had to drink a Starbucks latte, and I went to buy it after work. When I got to Starbucks, I asked the waiter, "How much is a latte?" Waiter: "27 yuan!" I asked, "Why is it $24 in London, $20 in Chicago, and $14.5 in Mumbai?" The waiter calmly replied: "China's house prices are more expensive than foreign countries, cars, gasoline, Internet access, taxes are more expensive than foreign countries, why can't lattes?" Just when I was dumbfounded, a group of people in the back urged me: "Buy or not?" If you can't afford it, roll..."?

7. The company has a new single girl, and the enthusiastic Sister Li is introducing the object. Today I begged her: Sister, this is a few of my friends' photos, they are all quite ugly, you are tired to introduce to new colleagues! Sister Li was angry: These men are so ugly, can people's parents be so beautiful to look at, aren't you also single, why don't you chase? I laughed and said: She has seen these ugly ones, and it should be much more pleasing to the eye to see me, and I will chase them again at that time!

8. The company has a long-legged female colleague, the male colleagues in the department are constantly flattering, patting the horse's ass or something, but I treat her differently. Today, the female colleague thief walked up to me and asked: Brother, I think you are the least arrogant man in the company. I:??? Female colleagues said: You see they not only praise me, but also buy snacks for me to eat every day. I chuckled and said, "So you like people who slap on the back?" The female colleague shook her head and said, "A greasy mouth and slippery tongue are not a good person at first glance." I hummed and said, "I'm more honest and won't be flattering, just tell you that all the women in the company, including female leaders, none of them can compare with you, whether it's body or appearance, or demeanor and temperament." I guess you used to laugh at school too, right? I think you go to the beauty pageant, if you don't win the championship, it must be blind to the eyes of the judges..." The more the female colleague listened, the happier she became, but when the time came, the female colleague said: When I come to my house after work, I order you to finish all my advantages." I can only blame my usual honesty, I don't know how to reject her, I can only nod my head and agree.

9. A beautiful woman has a very bad fox odor, and the surgery has not cured it, because this has not been able to find a boyfriend. It happened that a man's nose had lost its olfactory function, and after being introduced by others, the two went on a blind date. On the day of the blind date, the two saw each other and then they were together. The next morning the woman woke up to find the man not in bed, so she got up to look for him and found the man by the window, with the window open. The woman said: Honey, why do you open the window in the winter? The man said: Honey, I don't know what's wrong, I think this room is hot eyes, and I have been shedding tears!?

10. The cousin went on a blind date, and the girl was also a more realistic person, and asked the cousin about her profession. Cousin: I should be a new type of industry! Work on the control of environmental pollution. Sister: This is a good job! Can you take me to your unit for a tour? Cousin: But our unit can't enter for free. Sister: So I paid for it, right? How much does it cost to go in once? Cousin: one large piece, one small five cents... Sister: Sweep... Oh, the toilet sweeper...

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