1. Last night with a beautiful female colleague working overtime, the office is just the two of us, I look at the female colleague may be tired, take off the high heels to the side, may be the night, I looked at the female colleague a little heartwarming, stared at her for half a day. The female colleague also found that I was watching her, she was a little shy, embarrassed to say to me: "Brother Wang, can you help me make a cup of coffee?" "As soon as I saw the opportunity to approach her, I immediately agreed to her request, and when I walked over to her to take the water cup, I intentionally or unintentionally touched her hand, and she immediately avoided it like an open flame, I thought to myself, I was still very shy. I came back and handed her coffee, and seeing that she was tired, I didn't communicate with me much. After a while I walked up to her, deliberately tapped my hand on her shoulder, and asked her: Do you still need coffee? I drank a cup of iced coffee to no avail. At the same time, he suddenly smiled and handed me the water cup again. Later, when I went back, I said to my female colleague: This iced coffee is not refreshing! I've had two drinks and am still sleepy! Female colleague said: Your method is wrong! I thought to myself, deliberately asking: What is the method of drinking iced coffee? The female colleague took the iced coffee in my hand, poured a handful on my face, and said: This is the spirit!
2. I have always liked to play chicken on my mobile phone, and two days ago, the nearby people in the game met a female netizen, who had been playing games with her, and left contact information. Yesterday before going offline, I made an appointment to play a game together today, and as a result, I came out to play with my girlfriend and forgot about it. Today female netizens called me, my girlfriend asked me to open hands-free, did not do bad things I directly opened hands-free. I just answered, female netizen: I have been waiting for you in the room for half a day, why didn't you come?
3. My brother and I went to the same elementary school, and when I was younger, I was shy and didn't talk much. I still remember that in the winter of that year, my brother shrugged a little, and my mother thought he was cold, so she bought him a down jacket without saying a word, but the brother still shrugged his shoulders and hunched over, without saying a word. Later, his mother was really worried and took him to see the village doctor. The doctor took the long needle and said to give him a prick. At this time, the old brother said timidly: "I think you can buy me a scarf, my neck is too long, I am frozen!" ”
4. Two days ago, a colleague from Sichuan asked his family to mail him a specialty from their hometown: bacon. I opened it curiously and looked at it, and after a while I hurried to tie the mouth of the bag. I said: Don't be discovered by the cat. Colleagues in Sichuan said calmly: It's okay, this meat cat doesn't eat. We looked at him in horror, and he continued: "Because it's so hot."
5. After watching the movie in Wanda, I met my original colleagues. I asked enthusiastically, "Would you like to come out for a drink on the weekend?" Colleague: "Forget it, I have to repaint the walls of my house, and many places are cracked." Me: "I know, but those cracks are not serious?" Colleague: "Isn't that serious?" My stupid son went around telling people: He comes from a broken family! ”
6. When I was a child, I was dependent on my dad, and now my dad has used his life savings to arrange a big blind date for me! In order to prevent me from running away, he also followed me. When we found that the man's mother also came, we talked for a while and found that he was also a single parent, and he had been dependent on his mother since he was a child! My dad's eyes lit up with excitement, and he took his fucking hand and said: Big sister, I don't think it's better to be a good thing today!
7. I wanted to go to dinner, and my wife said angrily: Is this kitchen for you to enter? Go out for tea! I want to wash clothes, wife: washing clothes is a woman's job, let me go. I'm going to clean up, wife: It's not your doing, go and rest. This day and day, being a grandpa at home, what not to do I don't want to go. Having said all this, I would like to ask you, are wives like this? "
8. The girlfriend's family is in the real estate business and is an only child. In order to be able to marry her, I gritted my teeth and became a door-to-door son-in-law. When I get home from work after marriage, I will buy vegetables and cook and clean up the house. Last night, the daughter-in-law came back and wiped her mouth after eating: Husband, after my salary increase, I will definitely not let you go to work, you will cook a meal every day. I was so excited that I thought about sleeping until I woke up naturally every day, not having to squeeze the bus, playing games at home, and making a meal at the point. In the end, the more I thought about it, the happier I became, and unconsciously finished washing dishes and washing clothes.
#Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #