1, my father-in-law and mother-in-law went out to dance, and I accompanied my brother-in-law to go shopping. Walking along, the brother-in-law took out paper from the small satchel from the small satchel to take notes on some shop phones, asked the brother-in-law what he was doing, and the brother-in-law said: In two days, some cram classes will go to work... A little surprised: you want to go to cram school? The brother-in-law gritted his teeth and said: I will put their phones into my father's blacklist tonight!
2. Take the bus home at night and notice a man next to you. He was dressed clean and decently, and his face left a few traces of age. His melancholy eyes, sometimes quietly looking out the window, as if he were thinking about his past life; sometimes his eyes were slightly closed, leaning back in his chair, giving his tired body a moment's rest. According to years of research on individual behavior patterns, psychological observations and social experience Pang Duan: This person is nine times out of ten that his mobile phone is out of battery!
3, in fact, when a lover breaks up, why should he curse each other? After all, I once loved, just like my ex, who broke up for so long and never said a bad word about me, I hope he can wake up from the vegetative person as soon as possible, blaming me for starting a little heavier.
4. The daughter-in-law came to my house for the first time during the love period, and she was a little restrained when eating. The old mother let her move the chopsticks more, these two goods do not know which tendon smoked, suddenly woke up the pen turning technique, the chopsticks quickly turned over, the key is that she just clipped the sauce beef has not been put into the bowl to eat. So a few of us wore clothes on our chests and splashed a little sauce evenly, and then she actually looked at her mother and smiled... After eating, the mother silently took out a nightgown from the room, and the two of them actually took it over happily and silently walked to the bathroom. Seeing their self-evident tacit understanding, I suddenly felt like meat on a chopping board!
5, at night when I was sleeping, the goddess called and told me that her boyfriend was in the restaurant now, and asked me to confess to her in front of her boyfriend! I was so excited that I immediately got dressed and ran to the speed of light to confess. Unexpectedly, she just replied faintly: Roll! Then turn to her boyfriend and say: See, it's the tenth, and there are a lot of people who like me...
6, half a year ago, in order to spur myself to lose weight, I insisted on recording my weight every day, filling in an Excel form, and generating a trend chart... Today, my colleague passed by my seat, only to see him walk over and come back thoughtfully, whispering in my ear, "That... Can you tell us which stock you are? The trend is pretty good..."
7, colleagues who have not been in contact for many years suddenly found me and said that there is an urgent matter at home to borrow some money, the key is really unable to come up with money now, so I thought of a text message sent by a loan shark, I copied it down and sent it to him, this goods actually scolded me! Also blacked me out! Am I doing it wrong.........
8, I used to have a classmate, three days two hairstyles, this week's hair dyeing, next week's perm, and then directly the whole explosion head, the class teacher said that he did not listen several times, but directly called the parents. His dad came over, and his dad put on a ponytail and told the class teacher to calm down and get a 50% discount on his hair cut
9, my mother-in-law and mother-in-law are good girlfriends, my husband and I have been booked by them since childhood. I am also a mother-in-law who grew up watching, and after getting married, as long as I slept until 8 o'clock on the weekend and did not get up, she would come and lift my quilt! One morning, my mother-in-law asked me, "What is the greatest animal in the world?" I replied, "It's a cow, because I help people do things and give milk to drink!" The mother-in-law said, "No, it's a rooster." I asked, "Why?" Mother-in-law: "Tell people to get up when they are alive, and make a feather duster after death." "As soon as I finished speaking, I waved it over...
10, go shopping with my aunt, bump into my girlfriend, she came over and slapped me... On my aunt's birthday that day, I accompanied her to pick out gifts. Coincidentally, when I was shopping with my aunt in my arms, I met my girlfriend, who came over and threw me in the mouth, pointed at my aunt and asked me: Who is she? My aunt didn't say a word at the time, went up and slapped her twice...
11, some time ago, the neighbor's parents had a particularly beautiful sister broke up. She was very sad and had been sulking at home, no way, I took her out to relax. She cried to me that her boyfriend couldn't accept her abortion. I was silent for a moment and said: This is understandable, you don't have to be too upset. She cried: "But I'm an obstetrician and gynecologist, and I don't do it!"
12. The teacher asked the two students, "Have you done a good deed every day today?" The two students replied in unison, "Yes!" The teacher asked, "What did you do?" Student: "We helped an old lady cross the street." Teacher: "Well, it's fine, but why two people to help an old lady cross the street?" Student: "Because the old lady didn't want to cross the street."
13, when I was a child, in order to go to the street game hall to rub two games, I can be said to have exhausted the means, but unfortunately often stand by the river where there are not wet shoes. As a result, I was caught unexpectedly, and I thought I couldn't escape this beating, but my father said to me gently: First go home to take a bath and eat before going out to play. I suddenly felt that my dad was so kind and respectable, a strong nod, a cigarette rushed to the bathroom, just took off the clothes Daddy grabbed the belt and broke in: You bunny cub, take off your clothes today, I see what block you can use, I have to give you a long memory!
14. Tanabata is coming, as the old saying goes: one day in heaven and one year on earth. 24 hours X 60 minutes = 1440 minutes÷ 365 days = 3945 minutes. That is to say, one day on earth and 3945 minutes in heaven. From the beginning of the year to Tanabata, 183 days have passed X3945 minutes = 7219 minutes÷ 60 minutes = 1203 hours. That is to say, every day at about 12:03 in heaven is Tanabata on earth. Think of the weaver girl who had lunch every day, pushed the bowl and chopsticks, and said to the queen mother: "After the mother, the sons and daughters retreat first, and the cowherd is about to wait... A daily appointment, the Weaver Girl is not lonely!!
![A patient with sciatica used a tonic formula to help him get rid of his troubles Remember one day, a patient with sciatica came to me, and he came to me with a limp. He sighed[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)