The company has a long-legged female colleague, the male colleagues in the department are constantly flattering, patting the horse's ass or something, but I treat her differently. Today, the female colleague thief came up to me and asked:

The company has a long-legged female colleague, the male colleagues in the department are constantly flattering, patting the horse's ass or something, but I treat her differently. Today, the female colleague thief walked up to me and asked: Brother, I think you are the least arrogant man in the company. I:??? Female colleagues said: You see they not only praise me, but also buy snacks for me to eat every day. I chuckled and said, "So you like people who slap on the back?" The female colleague shook her head and said, "A greasy mouth and slippery tongue are not a good person at first glance." I hummed and said, "I'm more honest and won't be flattering, just tell you that all the women in the company, including female leaders, none of them can compare with you, whether it's body or appearance, or demeanor and temperament." I guess you used to laugh at school too, right? I think you go to the beauty pageant, if you don't win the championship, it must be blind to the eyes of the judges..." The more the female colleague listened, the happier she became, but when the time came, the female colleague said: When I come to my house after work, I order you to finish all my advantages." I can only blame my usual honesty, I don't know how to reject her, I can only nod my head and agree.

2. When my son was in junior high school, he was very good with a brother. Two people together no matter what they do. Even one day my son told me that his good friend's father called him son, and I couldn't let the family take advantage of it. One day, my son's good friend came to my house, and as soon as I met me, I said, "Yo, son, you're here!" Just when this was heard by my wife, I explained that my wife was still grumpy for a month!

3. The girl's idle boyfriend's family is poor, and he is still rural, so he broke up with him! The ex-boyfriend's family only had four sets of broken tile houses, and then the village was demolished, so that the boyfriend's family became rich overnight! The ex-boyfriend held a huge amount of money but never wasted it, or worked as an assembly line worker in the original factory. Within a few days, my ex-boyfriend was fired from the factory because the hostess complained to the boss: This guy's car is better than my car, and every time I leave work, I have to wait for him to go far before I drive out. Now the girl is looking for an ex-boyfriend to talk about compounding!

4. When I came home from work today, I suddenly asked my husband with a feeling: What did you really like about me in the first place? The husband was stunned for a moment, and then took a deep breath of smoke. After a long time, I said: At that time, I thought I had not done anything good in my life, this girl was 25 years old, and it was estimated that she would not be able to marry out in the future, so let's do a good deed. My son kept laughing after lying on the couch, and I silently took a mirror from the drawer and smashed it on his head.

5. Whenever the boy is sick, the mother always takes a cup of bitter water to the boy to drink, and the boy asks the mother: What is it? Mom always laughed and said, "That's coffee!" The little boy drank it, until now he grew into an adult and still had an aftertaste, the young man went to the coffee shop to order this coffee, the waiter always said no, and told the little youth to go to the pharmacy to find it! The young man still clearly remembers that the name of the coffee is called Ban Langen, which is really strange, and he has to go to the pharmacy to buy coffee!

6. I scored 211 in the college entrance examination, and then I didn't go to college to work for a company that sold building materials. At that time, doing the work of carrying, that is, more than 5,000 yuan a month, including food and housing. Talking to a teacher that day, he said that there was a master in the company who saved money and spent more than 20 a month, and he spent more than 100 a month. I said, sometimes I have to spend more than 100 on a meal! Later he left, and I suddenly remembered the joke my mother said, my dad spent 100 yuan a year...

7. On weekends, the family stays at home, and the fun is very harmonious. Dad heard that my daughter-in-law would taekwondo, and on a whim, he had to ask my daughter-in-law to drop me and show him a performance. Where my daughter-in-law is willing to fall on me, she just doesn't fall. Later, my father said to my daughter-in-law: If you fall, my father will immediately send you a big red envelope of 500 yuan! Dad's voice did not fall, and the second daughter-in-law flew up and kicked me over! I'll go! Directly lying on the ground for 5 minutes did not get up...

8. At a class reunion last month, I drank some wine and said, "Hey, when we graduated together, it seems that I mixed up worse?" I may not earn as much as you do for a month. A roommate patted me on the shoulder comfortingly: "Old man, don't say that, you're not right to say that. I lifted my glass and drank it all: What's wrong? You don't have to comfort me. The roommate laughed and said, "I mean, you're right to remove the two words that might be."

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #